Girlfriend of 11 months broke up... I want to get back

[poonany]

Me and my girlfriend are both 18.

 

We have been dating 11 months, and have shared almost excessive amounts of time together in those 11 months! I loved every minute of it.

 

Ok, some times were rough, but it was worth it. I have had other girlfriends before, but I loved her like no other. We both felt this very strong connection toward each other... like best friends... we just couldnt be apart or mad at each other for very long.

 

But the last 3-4 months it was pretty rough. At first I was being stupid and pretty much blamed her for most of it. But after a fight and a rash quick-decision breakup, and 4 nights without her I realized I was being unnapreciative in a lot of ways, a bit forceful in how she made decisions etc. etc.

 

I wasnt a BAD guy or anything, but I deffinitely could have worked harder. But I am young, and its hard to know what to work on.

 

Now it kind of blew up and were not together. She just wants to be friends right now, but she says she loves me.

She says shes not ready to get back together because shes scared... and she doesnt want to hurt me either.

 

I am SO hurting right now.. I miss her to the point where I dont even have an apetite one bit. We hung out last night as "friends" but after 11 months of being lovers it was hard to act as pure friends, and she got a little frustrated with me. Although she did not act mean about anything.

 

Its my fault this happened for the most part.. and my thinking has deffinitely changed. I am a good guy.. I always did do nice things for her (flowers.. a few times I setup a picnic in the park and didnt tell her... took her for a "walk" and surprised her when she saw the spread... those type of things). I love her so much and it hurts to not be with her.

She has also said that she doesnt want to hurt me because "what if in the future she wants to date another guy"... to me that doesnt make any sense to say if she loves me ??? even though she is talking about in the future.

 

What I am asking here is.. how can I go about making her heal from this?

 

She loves me and I know it. I can see it in her eyes, and she asked for me to hug her when we went out as friends. To me she sounds pretty confused.

I just want to show her it doesnt have to be like it was before, and we can work on our relationship in new ways that we both wern't before the breakup.

 

How should I do this? Leave her alone until she comes to me? Or since I was the majority cause of the breakup should I try to prove myself to her and maybe take her out for coffee and just be a nice person to her?

Should I not go too far and get her some flowers or something?

 

It hurts just being friends when I love her.. but it hurts when I dont have contact with her either. Im just not sure what to do. And I would like to at least give it a shot at winning her back.

 

Thanks...

[Challenger73]

*whistles*

Wow, check my previous post out. Same thing applies.

 

[poonany]

dude

 

 

.. I am not her concelor

 

she doesnt talk about boyfriends... she has never even checked out guys while we were dating.

 

she doesnt tell me how much she hates her family... or dumps her problems on me. Actually she has a bit of an issue with talking about her problems. Its very hard for her.

 

She doesnt use me for anything really...

 

Maybe I explained my situation wrong?