Failing out of school

[AFuchs17]

Hey all-

 

Looking for a bit of advice from those who have been in a similar situation. I am currently in my first year around this time I found out I had gotten in-I was through the roof elated I have always been a great student and have always pushed to be the best in everything I have done. I am 25, so I spent a couple of years beetween my undergraduate degree and going back to school desperately trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I know I want to be a veterinarian. And I definitely know I don't want to go back to the limbo I was in those couple of years. It was rock bottom for me-I felt like I was going nowhere, I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years, started dating my current girlfriend who I moved in with after about 3 weeks of dating. In short, the 'in between' state I found myself in made me crazy. I am not really a risk taker.

 

Anyway, right now I am hanging on by a thread. I have one quarter to bring my grade up from a D to a C in my veterinary program or I fail out. I have spent days and days worrying about this. I have tried different ways of studying. I have tried different places studying. I have pulled all nighters. I have tried getting more exercise, quit drinking any alcohol all together, not going out with friends as well as going out to have fun more. I talked to the dean. I have sought extra help. no matter what-I seem to find myself still failing out. This is a shock to my system-and the bottom line is that I have never been challenged to this extend and I'm worried I don't have what it takes. But would I have been accepted if I can't handle it? I think I might need to break up with my girlfriend and focus on school. However, we do live together, and I think that in the short term it may be a bad idea to do that because the moving out process may take valuable time I don't have.

 

Any advice? I am scared for my future-otherwise I wouldn't be pleading for some help. Getting into this caliber of school was a gift, and I would really hate to throw it away.

[thischiciswack]

I wouldn't necessarily break up with your girlfriend, but make sure she knows and understands your situation. I think the only problem you have is stress. You slipped up once, and now you're stressing too much to get back on track. You can't think, you can't study...

When it comes to test taking time, it may be that instead of focusing on your exam and knowing you're ready, you're focusing more on the fact of what you may not know and that you are going to fail. I know it sounds corny, but you're attitude really does change a lot.

Try to find ways to relieve stress, take a few deep breaths and relax, spend a few minutes every day trying to relieve your stress and get back on track.

I know that if you've come this far, you can do it. Know that and keep it in mind.

Good luck!

[michelemybell]

You said that you "may need to break up with your girlfriend and focus on school".

Are you not focusing enough on school? Is she a distraction?

Sorry to say, but vet school is extremely hard and competitive (as you already know) and takes extreme focus. If you don't have that focus, perhaps choose something else where you can have more time doing other things like maintain a relationship. Be honest with yourself. Either that or make some hard decisions. You can't have both and give half-baked attention to either. You won't be successful in your career or your relationship if you do so.

[TearsofFate]

Yes, you are putting a lot of stress on both your relationship and your career. It sounds like you're giving them 50/50 of your attention (50% for each), but the thing is, you need to put 100% if your going to pull through on either. With that said, you need to basically put your 100% on your career when need be, and then your gf, when the time is right (say you are taking a break from studying)...you can't try and focus on both at the same time, or you'll fall apart and drive yourself crazy.

 

I think you really got what it takes. Vet school is such a cool profession and great opportunity. Don't let that stress you out though. What you need to do, is put 100% in your school (and let your gf know you'll be extra busy for the next bit but still love her)...then pass those exams! You can do it. In order to achieve we need to sacrifice something. Sometimes it's time, sometimes it's having a fun night out, and sometimes it means we have to have a lot of time to ourselves as we work...but if you do, life will give you back something in return, no worries.

 

you'll do great, just keep your chin up and stay strong. No stressing needlessly! That will just create a lot of uneeded worry and use up your energy. Put your energy on your studies. You dont have to break up with your gf unless she is a major problem. Has she done anything to distract you?

[thejigsup]

A girl I worked with got into vet school 2 states away. She left her bf here as she KNEW what to expect. She is now in her final year and actually does surgeries! She Is brillliantly smart and was the star of her entire graduating class, she does Calculus problems and O Chem problems in her spare time for fun. She's that smart and she had to leave the bf behind. They have only seen each other for about a week every Christmas and about 6 weeks in the summer. He's cool with it and she graduates this year and her future is set. If she couldn't even DATE, how can you LIVE with someone. I'm not saying you're not smart, but this is the most intelligent person I ever met!

[blueidealist24]

I would see this from a different perspective. If this is so hard for you now, and makes you unable to maintain a relationship, then what is it going to be like doing this as your career if you make it there? I would never sacrifice a relationship for a job since I find that jobs/employers can come and go but those that really love you always love you. Sure, you might get a vet diploma but lose everything else in the process. I think if you can't handle a normal life (socialization, gf, etc.) and vet school at the same time, maybe vet school isn't what you're meant to do. I think you should try your best to juggle everything but if you don't make it, it wasn't meant to be. You already have an undergraduate degree, right? It's not like you have nothing.

[AFuchs17]

Well, it looks like my decision as far as my relationship goes is being made for me. She got on my computer when I went to walk my dogs last night, and that's that.

 

On that note, isn't there a way to delete posts or at least change my account name or something just to make this stuff a little harder to find? I didn't want her to see that. I made the mistake of treating this kind of like a journal because I had to get this stuff off my chest, and lo and behold I might as well have just said the cold hard facts right to her face. No tact on my part. Anyway, I know there is no way to delete my profile, but can I become anonymous or change it or anything?

[quantumst8]

Well, it looks like my decision as far as my relationship goes is being made for me. She got on my computer when I went to walk my dogs last night, and that's that.

 

On that note, isn't there a way to delete posts or at least change my account name or something just to make this stuff a little harder to find? I didn't want her to see that. I made the mistake of treating this kind of like a journal because I had to get this stuff off my chest, and lo and behold I might as well have just said the cold hard facts right to her face. No tact on my part. Anyway, I know there is no way to delete my profile, but can I become anonymous or change it or anything?

 

Don't sweat it. Even the wisest people can't see how all the variables will play out in the future. You've already stated Vet school is your top priority. So it's a blessing in disguise that your gf found this. Let her go and move on...don't waver on that or second guess yourself because then you'll lose both your gf and vet school. Be confident, let her go, and start putting 100% into school. If you do that, you can make it. If you waver back and forth, you'll probably lose everything.