AHHH ! guys Help PLEASE. She contacted me... so confused...

[RayF]

Idon't understand,why would she do this? It's been N/C since isent her aletter basically saying i was disappointed with her decison but respected her needs. Before that i toldher NEVER contact me until you want to get back together. In the letter i said despite what i siad you can contact me if you feel you need to.

 

Now out ofthe blue she just emails me. Just a casual email... likenothing happened!

 

God myheart isbeating and i'mso confused... God this hasset me back afew steps buti don't knowwhat to think of this. isshe regretting her decison... whatshould i do?

 

Here is the email...

 

Hey Ray,

i'm sorry i have taken a while to get back to you since you sent me that letter. I've been pretty busy with family stuff and w. school starting. So my grandpa is ok, he made it through surgery and is now cancer free! So that is great. My other grandpa is in the hospital in Edmonton and things are not looking so good for him. I went up to visit him last week so i'm glad i got to do that.

 

So i'm only in four classes instead of 5 which is what i wanted to have but everything else is either full or conflicts with other classes. Oh well i still might be able to get into something in the next week. How is school going for you right now? I'm sure its got you pretty busy already. Have you seen Elise around? I haven't even talked to her since she moved back here.

 

How was Mexico with James? I hope you had fun. I had a pretty good time at my cabin for the rest of the summer. I tried wakeboarding and i got up my very first attempt! I was pretty excited cuz i also went skiing and did pretty good. I was SOOO sore the day after wakeboarding and skiing though! oh well...

 

well i hope everything goes well at school for you and i will talk to you soon.

 

Kristen

[JohnnyTable]

From her point of view, she probably misses the friend in you. This is normal. I don't think that it means that she wants you back though. I'll admit that I don't know your story. Having that "normal" contact probably makes her feel better. Plus if she has you as a friend, then decision to have left you is that much easier.

 

I went through something similiar with my ex although over the phone. After we broke up, she called me because her Dad was sick. Then I went out of town for 3 weeks and she asked me to call her when I got home. Well when I called, she never returned my message and I find out that she is with somebody else.

 

I find it somewhat offensive that she contacts you like this in a 100% casual way like nothing is wrong, because it is confusing and how can you respond? Lets see what others think...

[RayF]

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

Yeah i know she probably misses me dearly as a friend aspect.

 

I tell you I am so tempted to fall into that trap. To fix my addiction with shots of her, and be strung along. I;ve made progress wiuth myown life. not much in getting over her. Man i need my therapist's oppinion!

 

Then agian, maybe it is a real opening.

 

This is what my mom thinks, given the way i left it and the way she still felt about me when ending it, being in love, she thinks that this may be a way just to test the waters. She might not come out and say she wants me back she might not even be sure what she wants. All she wants is having me in her life.

 

But my mom thinks given the feelings towards eachother, if i don't push things she won't be able to resist me, that there no way she won't be able to take the emotional hit when talking to me. She's still in love with me because if those passionate feelings didn't go away when she left me theycan't really be gone now.

 

She says if i play it cool, and be patient things might grow from there.

 

I gotta think, I specifically told her when we were breaking up i would not be strung along like Billy (Billy is my stepsister's ex who is at her beck and call for every aspect when all she wants from him is a friend, nothing more, the guy is hopelessly in love with her still) I toldher icould not be her friend because it's too painfull. She's not a selfish person and knows this.

 

Thats why i think maybe she is having regrets leaving me? but can't outright say it because she is testing the waters.

 

I swear though, all casual like this, is she f***ing with my head?

 

Part of me thinks this maybe myonly opening, am i strong enough to play it cool? Well i know what NOT to do. Maybe i can try it and if it becomes too much to handle call it off. maybe this is theonly chancewe got at gettign back?

 

I thinki maydothis, wait for about 5 days, email her back, be upbeat, vage and to the point.

 

Should i say thingslike it was good tohar from you? Maybe we should call eachother sometime, maybe get together for coffe? Or shoukd i play it up with, i'm having far too much fun being single to talk to you these days. Talk to ya whenever kinda thing?

[RayF]

Hey guys,

 

still mulling over thisand would like a few more people's oppinions.

 

This girl who i'm getting to be close with (probably just on a friendly level) told me today that she thinks the notions of this email were more of a her being curious to see what i'm up to or if i;m with anyone and because subconsiously she still wants to feel wanted. She said if she wanted me back she probably would have included a line like "i miss you" or something.

 

I tend to think she may be right. I think i'm going to just not contact her for a couple weeks.

 

I think i'm strong enough, and busy enough to not mull over it. the truth is, if this is a door back i want to take it as an opening. but the truth is, if she dosn;t want me back i'm not in the position to settle for anything less with her.

 

I dunno, i realize the situation is different here but the girl who i was talking to about it just ended a two year relationship too, and hearingwhat she's thinking, how she's feelingso relived i wonder if my ex is doing the same as this girl. I can't ignore the facts that it was an informal contact, it wasn't implying anything more than just friendly casual crap. If shewanted meback thatbad, as scaredasshemaybe wouldn't she be trying harder?

 

i think i'll just pretend this never happened for now. if she wants me so badshecan chase me, right now i need more time to heal.

 

any other oppinions?

[detox5]

Well to what i think is that, shes kinda missing you maybe, you WERE on her mind cause she emailed you. Still think its a test, and i tell you why, my ex messaged me a few months ago with a smiley face, this was out of the blue, after months of not talking, I did the same back, we get talking, and the more i talked, it was as if the more power she had, and wasnt bothered too much. So it was as if she was testing me to see if she still had power, if she really wanted to speak with me, we would of been talking for hours, and she WOULD have had time for me, but she was on and off, and away, and i was growing inpatient, you could email her and be blunt. Like say something relaly simple, just think, she is expecting something nice and big from u, so why not say... "wakeboarding...hmm i should try that sometime".

 

I reckon she would be like WTF, is that all you have to say after all these months we havent talked, dont you care about me (she starts chasing you). just wat i think anyways, cause after i didnt get a responce i wanted, i went mad lol and started chasing, that stupid small line might be cool though.