lhc1575 Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 One of my really good friends has started to show her true colors lately. She's very outgoing, to the point of being aggressive, and has a lot of insecurities and feels the need to have attention on her at all times (this I know by her own admission). Her friends from freshman year of college dropped her because she couldn't get her flirting under control...i.e. flirting with guys they brought around. At first I thought that maybe they were judgmental and so I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but now I see what they must have seen. She's extremely clingy. I feel like she doesn't want me to have any interests outside of her, and if she doesn't have a boyfriend then she doesn't want anyone else in our group to either, making judgmental comments about any guy we're interested in or are in a relationship with. We usually try to ignore it--but now it's evolved to her flirting with any guy around her, including the guys we like. I feel like I can't trust her. I've confronted her twice about her behavior, and she seemed remorseful and apologized, but at this point I think it's just part of her personality. Last night, she told a guy I just started talking to that she was going to wear lingerie to a party tomorrow night. Someone who calls themselves my "best friend" shouldn't cross that line, especially when I've already called her out on it. I don't know what to do. I've already given her chances and she says she's trying, but actions speak louder than words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 well, it sounds like you know what to do. maybe not drop her totally, but ease of contact, and when you do see her, just have it be, say, the two of you watching a movie together. no love interests/boyfriends around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 So are you seeing this guy? If not its free game. Does she know you like this guy? If so then she's crossing the line with your friendship. She should've back off. I don't think you can change her flirtatious nature, she will eventually grow out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lhc1575 Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Yes--she knows I like him. She knows all about the guys I like because, like I said, she was my closest friend up until recently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Yes--she knows I like him. She knows all about the guys I like because, like I said, she was my closest friend up until recently. I dont' think she has any respect of your friendship. Time to move her out of your circle of friends.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DylanNotorious Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Yeah I don't think she values your friendship that much, or she wouldn't hit on the guys you like. Make it clear, that if she wants to keep her friendship with you, to stop doing that - even tho this will be the second time you have to tell her this. But I get the feeling that she has no boundaries and couldn't give a toss if she hurts people along the way, just for the attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsrose10 Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 It sounds like your friend is insecure & that's why she loves the attention she constantly looks for. But I agree, I think it's time you dumped her. I've had toxic friends like this, and nothing good comes from keeping them around, or constantly giving them second chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 She's not a very good friend if she flirts with/hits on your boyfriends. I'd drop her. Not worth having her around. She sounds like a royal s****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDRohnos Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 If one of my buddies hit on a girl I was interested in and he knew about it there would be major problems. Between guy friends there is a "I saw her first" rule with girls. At least between my friends there is. Obviously is she expresses sincere interest in someone else we know when to back off as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Time for a serious talk. I would give it one more attempt, then after that if she doesn't stop I would surely dump her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown1607307972 Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 I knew a girl who would always flirt with any guy in our age group around. Even friends' boyfriends. Even if she wasn't actually interested in them, she just craved male attention and felt superior to all her friends, like she could have their boyfriends if she wanted. Once when I was with my boyfriend I saw here in the street so I literally ran away with him before she could see us so she wouldn't get the chance to hit on him. Not because I felt he'd reciprocate, but because it'd make me angry if she did it in the first place. Friends who knowingly flirt with the guys you are with/guys you like are not worth having around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDRohnos Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Yep, it's called "Find your own boyfriend/girlfriend." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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