lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 what is he doing that is disrespecting me apart from the conversation he had with his brother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 because i like that i have feeling for someone for once...its very hard for me. its hard to think of his girlfriend when i have never seen her and from the things he has told me shes not a nice person....that obviously doesnt make what im doing right but i hate the thought of throwing something away that im enjoying alot. i really dont know what to do Who knows if he is being honest about her not being a nice person. Cheaters always use that line. In any event, you don't know her at all so you can't really judge either way. I suspect the reason you believe him is because you want to believe that if she does get hurt, at least you're not hurting a good, innocent person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 if he didnt respect me he wouldnt do or say anything nice which is why i find that hard to believe, he would treat me like a * * * * buddy...but he doesnt. There is absolutely no connection between telling you nice things and respecting you. You've basically described a guy who is a sweet talker. They're a dime a dozen. It's not a sign of respect. It's just a way of behaving and may or may not be fake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 obviously you know you are totally right about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 what is he doing that is disrespecting me apart from the conversation he had with his brother? He is sleeping with you and leading you on by spending time with you and saying sweet things to you hoping that you will stay and be happy with being #2. He is disrespecting you by doing this while he has a steady girlfriend that was there first. He has no respect for relationships, nor for you. The biggest disrespect is the disrespect you have for yourself to stay with this man, who has been very clear that he is not interested in anything more than you being a woman on the side. I agree with lady00 - cheaters try to make you feel sorry for them by trying to say their girlfriend or boyfriend treats badly so you will say "i'll treat you better". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 maybe not but there is some truth in it! someone who doesnt give a * * * * and just wants sex would try or waste time doing anything other than. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 he may not be leading me on this is what i want to find out. it is possible that he has considered being with me but there are reasons against that and hes afraid to take that risk. the only reason everyone is saying hes messing with me is because he has a girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furbys Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 If he wanted to be with you he would of left her by now. Hes using you for sex, and your allowing him too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 ive only had sex with him 2wice how do you explain the 5 months before that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 if he asks me out again...and i give an excuse to not have sex....but he still wants to see me...would that definatly mean he wants something more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furbys Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Hes had 5 months to leave her and be with you, he hasn't. That makes it loud and clear he doesn't want to be with you. Step back for a minute, and try to think of this logically (difficult to do since you are emotionally involved). He hasnt made any steps to be with you so what makes you think he will, why would he get with you when he knows you will get with guys who are in relationships? Doesn't look good on your part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 maybe not but there is some truth in it! someone who doesnt give a * * * * and just wants sex would try or waste time doing anything other than. There are also emotional affairs - a guy or gal confides in someone else and does everything they should really be doing with their gf/bf. As far as sex - Players know that most women won't just hop into bed and have sex with them. They have to use foreplay, not just physically, but they may have to compliment them, show them that they are a "nice guy", etc. He gained your trust. If he felt you needed to feel special to have sex with him, that's what he gave you. He might actually like you, but will never commit to you. Some guys go around with multiple women just so they never have to. Why do YOU want to be with a guy who is sleeping with someone other than you also? Or buying her jewelry, going to family parties with her, etc? There are women out there who find that their guy has a baby with a woman other than them and they still chase after and want that guy! Don't let that be you! You deserve way more than this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 if he asks me out again...and i give an excuse to not have sex....but he still wants to see me...would that definatly mean he wants something more? Not necessarily. He may just think you don't want it right now, but there is always later or tomorrow. Hes had 5 months to leave her and be with you, he hasn't. That makes it loud and clear he doesn't want to be with you. Step back for a minute, and try to think of this logically (difficult to do since you are emotionally involved). He hasnt made any steps to be with you so what makes you think he will, why would he get with you when he knows you will get with guys who are in relationships? Doesn't look good on your part. And let's pretend that he dumps the girlfriend and is with just you - would you want him knowing that he has no emotional, moral or mental issue with being with two women at once? I know someone who would date a woman for a number of years and when they became wise to his ways and wouldn't put up with the behavior, he would dump them and look for someone even younger. And then in a few years, they'd wise up and he'd go for someone else even younger hoping that they wouldn't have had the experience to know to avoid him or thinks they would eat up the attention a guy slightly older and more mature could give them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 it takes time to know whether you want to be with someone....we still don't know each other thoroughly yet, so he hasn't had 5 months to leave her, hes had 5 months since he first met me. yess exactly are these the reasons he hasnt tried to be with me ...because i have shown him that i dont want a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 no ...as in tell him if we meet up we cant have sex.....and if he says thats fine i dont care i just want to see you, would that mean he doesnt just want me to have sex with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryHGirl Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 it takes time to know whether you want to be with someone....we still don't know each other thoroughly yet, so he hasn't had 5 months to leave her, hes had 5 months since he first met me. yess exactly are these the reasons he hasnt tried to be with me ...because i have shown him that i dont want a relationship. If he is in a rocky relationship, and if he wanted to leave her, he would have already. Ive been in this situation multiple times. I real, honest guy would have left the gf if he was considering someone else. Hes being extremely rude and awful to his gf, how would you feel if that were you?? If he wanted to be with YOU, he would have done that already. Most guys dont form relationships (girlfriend/boyfriend kind) from screwing the girl first. Sure it happens, but its usually not good in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryHGirl Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 no ...as in tell him if we meet up we cant have sex.....and if he says thats fine i dont care i just want to see you, would that mean he doesnt just want me to have sex with? NO. that means he knows he can manipulate you into having sex with him. A guy i knew long ago did this constantly. He KNEW he was coming off as the 'im a good guy i just want to spend time with you, sex or not" and knew that id fall for that. Him saying he just wants to 'see' you doesnt mean he wont get you to have sex and he probably knows that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agatha Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 keep fooling yourself and learn your lesson the hard way, honey. just don't go saying nobody warned you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 what so your saying if i tell him im not gna have sex hes just gonna think i will anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I understand what you mean about still getting to know eachother, but in choosing a guy, you need to choose to get to know someone who is available to have a one on one relationship, both mentally, physically and emotionally. He was not and is not available to be in a mutual relationship with you. It is up to us to let our minds separate out who is worthy of dating and who is just plain not available. What if he was married? would you still say the same things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryHGirl Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 what so your saying if i tell him im not gna have sex hes just gonna think i will anyway. correct. your young. i was too. these older guys know they can manipulate you. are you really saying that if you hung out with him, and he came onto you, that youd say no?? I never could, so if you can, props to you. But seriously, take my, and everyone elses advice, please. This guy sounds like a d bag. its just plain and simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 no marriage is a different thing. and he has said that he doesnt want to marry until ages down the line. and apparently his gf asked him to marry her and he said no so she said we should end this then so i can find someone to marry. they havent ended though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furbys Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 It looks like you are finding every excuse under the sun to condone what you are doing. You don't seem to want to accept that he is not that into you, he wants to be with his gf not you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauravalentina Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 im not finding excuses, i didnt come on here for everyone to tell me he loved me , and you didnt expect me to take everyones advice without questioning it. im debating and trying to understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furbys Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I accept that you are not going to just take peoples advice, but imagine you were the outsider to this situation, you would be saying the same as us. We just want you to realise before you end up getting hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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