dobbin Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 never let anyone disrespect you or treat you any less than you deserve. set the standards and follow it through. always be independent. it totally rocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnaN Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Never trust anyone, no matter how many times he says he loves you, no matter what he does to show it and prove it. You never know, in a few minutes, this perfect and loving person might be gone and disappear for ever, like he never existed, like nothing had happened between you and him. Cruel lesson, but I've learnt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemsip Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Life goes on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimjam07 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Don't regret it, you did it for a reason.. During the relationship it was great, were your thoughts around your partner all positive and reassuring? What is in the past is the past - do not linger on it.. Look to the present and the future and do not take anything for granted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 That's the biggest lesson I have learned, the biggest!! Do not take anything for grant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prada Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ive learnt that when a guy makes excuses not to see you, then he just doesn't want to see you! Literally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man Who Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Never trust anyone Bit sinister that isn't it? You have to trust someone to be in a relationship with them, if not, what's the point in being in a relationship with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnaN Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Bit sinister that isn't it? You have to trust someone to be in a relationship with them, if not, what's the point in being in a relationship with them. No point, really. I think I will never make the same mistake again, no matter the other person. I will never trust completely, I will never give 100% of myself again in a relationship, and I won't be able to feel relaxed again. I will be keeping in mind that no matter how wonderful everything is, he shows how much he loves me and he says so, it might be a lie, or he might change his mind the next hour and disappear for ever like there was never, nothing between us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRose66 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 One of the Five Remembrances in particular: 'all that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. I cannot keep anything. I come here empty-handed, and I go empty-handed.' (Buddha) So beautiful in that it hopefully teaches us to be fully present in each moment. It is so true. Every single thing that I love will eventually pass away..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 No point, really. I think I will never make the same mistake again, no matter the other person. I will never trust completely, I will never give 100% of myself again in a relationship, and I won't be able to feel relaxed again. I will be keeping in mind that no matter how wonderful everything is, he shows how much he loves me and he says so, it might be a lie, or he might change his mind the next hour and disappear for ever like there was never, nothing between us. You'll get over feeling this way eventually. We all do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northpickle Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Never distrust your instincts. And related to that - never pretend everything is going well, never brush small issues under the carpet and change your behaviour to try and make up for underlying little problems - face things head on! Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario043 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 My breakup is too recent for the real lessons to be seen. One thing I have learned is that someone you thought you knew, can become someone entirely different when the pressure is on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeynow Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I will never trust completely, I will never give 100% of myself again in a relationship, and I won't be able to feel relaxed again. I will be keeping in mind that no matter how wonderful everything is, he shows how much he loves me and he says so, it might be a lie, or he might change his mind the next hour and disappear for ever like there was never, nothing between us. Never distrust your instincts. And related to that - never pretend everything is going well, never brush small issues under the carpet and change your behaviour to try and make up for underlying little problems - face things head on! I can understand AnnaN, the need to protect yourself. Northpickle makes a good point about the trust being for yourself. Maybe the lesson I've needed to learn is to trust myself foremost, and to not let my trust in someone else overshadow my self-responsibility and self-respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleina2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 So beautiful in that it hopefully teaches us to be fully present in each moment. It is so true. Every single thing that I love will eventually pass away..... So sad, isn't it? And yet, it's something we must deal with as human beings. I know that I can't fully comprehend the enormity of this statement, but it does relieve a bit of the present pain in the sense that "there are bigger losses than they one I am currently experiencing". It makes sense then that this particular loss is helping me practice letting go (and believe me, I need some training in this department). The way I see it, for the first time in my life I feel like I faced with the responsibilities of an adult. I have chosen to let go and move on, like adult would. Before, I would just beg, and hope, and plead for months on end. Now, I choose to turn this experience into something positive (or at least I try). We cannot keep anything. Only ourselves, until we too pass away. Everything changes, panta rei. Which also means that this too (the pain) will go away...and hopefully we have plenty more extrordinary experiences to live! Hugs x A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtango Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I learned that feelings fade, people change... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dobbin Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 You are so right never trust anyone, no matter how many times he says he loves you, no matter what he does to show it and prove it. You never know, in a few minutes, this perfect and loving person might be gone and disappear for ever, like he never existed, like nothing had happened between you and him. Cruel lesson, but i've learnt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBwho Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 You are right. I was stupid. I didn't get out before it was too late. And then i said things to f... me over. And again, when you say give space, u said it right, "get out". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fela Kuti Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 -don't talk about the future too much if you're still in the early stage of relationship. screams desperation and it'll scare your gf. -don't text/IM too much. it'll make the relationship stale. -infatuation makes you go blind. I mean blind. -stay away from girls who're still fresh from a relationship. -don't invest your feelings too much. -everything good must end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex1000001 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 - Take the girls family into account (ie. is this a family you would want to marry into?) - Think more about personal compatibility, not just attraction - Tackle problems head on, don't brush small things under the carpet - Don't ignore your own feelings for fear of causing conflict. If you feel you will say something which could ruin things, it means your not with the right person, and your on borrowed time - Take notice of relationship red flags (religious/family differences, unresolved mental issues etc) Often I see these as challenges to be overcome, I need to realise peoples personal issues are greater than me and not something I can fix, they need to do that themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord voldemort Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 i have learned that ' EVERY NIGHT HAS A MORNING'..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario043 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I actually can watch 9 hours of NFL football in a row...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penfield Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Never, ever chase love, affection or attention. If it isn't given freely, it isn't worth having. I've made an arse out of myself countless times in the past but with the one that completely broke my heart, I didn't. Hurts the same but I still have my dignity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prada Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 Ive learnt that you always remember a birthday, even when they are happy with someone else. Even after 2 yrs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Di84 Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I've learned that in order to heal, you need to learn to love yourself as much as you loved them. I learned that the breakup was the best thing that could happen to me because I became a better person from the pain I had to endure and know exactly how to be in my next relationship. I've learned to appreciate good friends and family that were there for me in the most difficult time. I've learned that no matter how bad the pain is and how much you feel that they were the love of your life - you will love again, and it will be better the next time around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meoww Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I learned that I don't really need a guy for anything really--I wish I would have figured this out earlier! I think I would have made much better decisions when it came to dating had I only known this. I learned that being single is amazing and empowering and full of surprises. I learned that I'm incredibly strong and I can get through anything. I learned to think for myself I learned to have convictions, my own values, and my own sense of right and wrong I learned to relax lol but now I need to relearn how to love someone despite their flaws and despite the butterflies fading...I've almost become too independent. I don't remember why I even need a boyfriend at all. Other than to raise a child basically. I think, however, it's perfectly reasonable to raise a child in a single parent home. in short--99% of relationships are sooo overrated and I am so glad I got out of that con. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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