disagreements about who pays

[Batya33]

no. who defines what "spare money" is or how to spend their own money is totally up to themselves. one doesnt have the right to decide for another. however if two people have very different ideas about financial things..they probaby shouldnt be together anyway.

 

Right - a woman who decides she gets to define what is her boyfriend's "spare money" and, moreover, how it should be spent, should find a man who is happy to cede control over his finances to his girlfriend. But then she can't complain if he acts like a doormat in other ways.

[chr8st8na]

*triple eye rolls* whatever guys

[OptomisticGirl]

Money does not buy happiness nor does it mean the male has to 'strut his tale feathers' with it to prove himself worthy of being dated. If this were the case then that same man could tell the woman to spread her legs to prove her worth of being dated.

[DN]

*triple eye rolls* whatever guys

Yes, this is the sort of reaction that men who object to paying get used to, as if they are being cheap or complaining about nothing. But frankly it tells us all we need to know.

[DylanNotorious]

Just stay home in future, especially if your broke. Unless your man offers to pay fully, then start assuming everything is to be split down the middle - unless of course your feeling generous and it's your shout.

 

But the moral at the end of the day, is to do things on the cheap, everyday.

 

Both of you will have to afford the activity of the day, split down the middle, or if one or the other offers to pay the full bill - Done.

[DN]

Although this isn't exactly the same situation as the OP's it is still an indication of what can happen when men pay more than their share in the very early stages of dating:

 

 

 

If a man accepts or expects to pay more than his share at the very beginning of a relationship then what happened to that member as his relationship progressed is hardly surprising.

[TheVP]

To make things work out, hopefully both parties contribute whatever they can to make it work out. I've gone out with a woman for the past two months who's in a different stage of her career than I am. It wouldn't have made sense for her to pay for the times we've gone out. But I think she contributed what she could. She knows I have a sweet tooth, so almost every time I saw her, she would have another package of candy that she bought for me.

 

Once my credit card company put a hold on my card, and she embarrassingly ended up paying for my dinner and never asked to get reimbursed for it.

 

Life is not fair, and rarely are relationships. There's usually one person in a relationship that contributes more one way or another than the other.

 

It would just have made things bad if she or I were calculating that she worked 20 minutes to buy that bag of candy for me but I worked 10 or 40 minutes to pay for our time at the zoo. Just contribute what you can.