PhilliesFan001 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I don't really see how it would be necessary to do that, so I would definitely have a problem with a parent who did. As a child when I had a loose tooth, we either just let it fall out naturally or I was told to bite into an apple or something hard to see if it would wiggle free. Never forced it, that's very odd to me. What's the big deal with waiting until the tooth comes out on its own? That seems a lot less scary than the fear a child might feel waiting for the door to slam and the anticipation of pain, whether there is pain or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ariel85 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Victoria - parenting was quite different back then, right? Remember the days of not using seat belts for kids? Now you get fined if you don't have them in a car seat. lol I would look at it as more an evolution of parenting techniques, than any kind of real abuse. My Grandmother slapped my Mom accross the face when she got her period for the first time, and my Dad was taught to swim by my Grandfather throwing him out of a boat in the middle of a lake. By today's standards, we'd cringe over both incidents, but back then, it's how people thought to parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 Oh for sure parenting was different back then. I guess my parents were so different in parenting styles. She was more how parents parent today even back then and my dad had parenting style from like 1930 and still does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnera Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 That's how I lost my teeth, too. Also got my mouth washed out with soap. Didn't traumatize me; did teach me not to sass my elders. People put way too much emphasis on hurting children's psyches the last couple decades. The more you pamper them, the less capable they become. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 ^ Gotta agree with this. Does anyone really think we're doing kids any favors by trying so desperately to shield them from any pain or trauma? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Back in the day it may have been a method to remove a tooth, but today there are other effective ways as well as dental insurance that can have the tooth removed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Not everyone can afford dental insurance - at least, that's why mine was removed like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Maybe it is the perspective of the relationship you had with your parent? Maybe that made the difference to whether you would think it was traumatic or not? To tell you the truth I have no emotional attachment to what happened and can not even remember if the tooth came out or not. I have no emotional attachment though to the fact that I was a child. I have no memories of feeling that I was one. I look at pictures of myself from childhood, and think " hm wow, that was me, I have NO concept of that in an emotional sense." I never had a good relationship with my dad when I was little or now. So while I do not blame him for doing it, I realize a lot of people did it, I just question more his intention of why he did it. Eh hard to explain. I have heard of people doing this - maybe not with a door but pulling it out if it was dangling. And they were not abusive parents. If you have no emotional issue with it, then why snoop around in the past to try to judge it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Vic, I think what you're describing sounds awful but I do agree about parenting styles being different back then. When my mum was at school, if she didn't eat all her lunch (and the school dinners were absolutely vile!) the headteacher would come along and force feed her. She said one time he did this and forced so much food down her throat that she projectile vomited all over him, for which she was given the belt! She told her parents who responded with 'well next time you'll clear your plate when he asks won't you'. That was back in the late 50's early 60s. When my partner was growing up he says he and his sister when they were naughty were beat with a belt buckle. He also remembers his mum slapping him in the face on more than one occasion simply out of frustration. That was in the 80s. I don't believe in mollycoddling children but I'm glad things aren't that way any more. Also, dentistry then wasn't what it is now. Both my parents and friends of their from their generation talk about how anaesthetic wasn't offered when they needed dental treatment. Teeth were just yanked or drilled which was very painful. I don't know if your father experienced anything like that Vic but maybe he was just brought up to think that what he was doing was for the best because it 'did him no harm'. Weirdly I've just remembered when I got my first filling back in the late 90s and my dentist at the time said I wouldn't need the anaesthetic injection because it wasn't necessary and I should be old enough to deal with it (I was 16). I'd never had a filling before and just trusted his word but when he was drilling he hit a nerve and oh my god I just about hit the ceiling!!! Since then I've only had another 1 filling and that time I insisted on the injection! I also got a new dentist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I don't really see how it would be necessary to do that, so I would definitely have a problem with a parent who did. As a child when I had a loose tooth, we either just let it fall out naturally or I was told to bite into an apple or something hard to see if it would wiggle free. Never forced it, that's very odd to me. What's the big deal with waiting until the tooth comes out on its own? That seems a lot less scary than the fear a child might feel waiting for the door to slam and the anticipation of pain, whether there is pain or not. Yes that's why I'm confused too. I would work on it in front of a mirror and try to get it out myself. I'm sure some of the things we parents do or don't do now will be considered strange in future generations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 Back in the day it may have been a method to remove a tooth, but today there are other effective ways as well as dental insurance that can have the tooth removed. Remember this was 1972, people did not take their kids to the dentist to remove a loose baby tooth. Heck people barely do it now. I took my son once to remove a baby tooth at the dentist because it was causing an adult tooth to grow sideways because the baby tooth was not even loose when the adult one was coming in. However back in the 70's people did not do that unless it was an emergency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 That's how I lost my teeth, too. Also got my mouth washed out with soap. Didn't traumatize me; did teach me not to sass my elders. People put way too much emphasis on hurting children's psyches the last couple decades. The more you pamper them, the less capable they become. I am not talking about pampering but I do not see the point in ripping out teeth that will fall out on their own, just because a parent does not want to be bothered hearing you talk about a loose tooth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 My dad was an abused and neglected kid who became a mentally ill adult so who knows why he did anything really. I suspect he did it because he did not want to hear me talk about the loose tooth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron_ Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Your dad's stoic attitude is not uncommon in older people. Yeah you're right, he probably did it so you wouldn't talk about your loose tooth. Just about everyone knows that it's uneccessary to remove a baby tooth because they come out on their own. And yet, some people STILL use the string and slammed door technique! I have NO idea why but they do. Quite often bad parenting begets bad parenting. Have you ever watched that show teen mom? It's hardly surprising most of those girls ended up pregnant. Look at the messed up families most of them come from! What's important is that you've broken the cycle with your own son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 ^^ For sure. I know some of the things my dad did was just normal for the times, and this was probably one of them. His intention was not normal but his actions or solving the problem in that way was normal for the times. I might see it better if we had had a good and loving relationship otherwise, and I would probably having stories that I laughed at now. Unfortunately, I don't. I mean I am not pent up about and it takes up my entire day or anything. It was just another odd example that came to me. I think it came to me because I am feeling guilty about not seeing my dad more. He really has no one and is in bad shape physically and lives in poverty. I feel bad for it even though he did all this to himself. BUT is he REALLY responsible because he is so mentally ill. I don't know but for me it is a big conundrum. I FEEL like I should do more for him but he really does not like people in his life. He likes the occassional visit and that is all he can handle. It still makes me feel guilty though so maybe I am thinking up or looking for reasons to find fault with him so I won't feel guilty because his life is a mess.The thing is I should not feel guilty because I really have nothing to feel guilty about. You are right though I have not carried any of that on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnera Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I am not talking about pampering but I do not see the point in ripping out teeth that will fall out on their own, just because a parent does not want to be bothered hearing you talk about a loose tooth. How do you know that's why they did it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 How do you know that's why they did it? I don't know why other parents did it but I know that would be the reason for my own father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 My parents did it because they were wicked, cruel people who only had children to see them suffer. Or because it was a relatively quick and easy way of yanking a tooth that needed to come out anyway. Somehow I managed to get past the 4 seconds of pain this caused. Although I've never looked at doorknobs the same way since..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Some kids want the tooth out quick so they can get the money from the tooth fairy and not have to wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 I am sure some kids do......lol. I know my son loved the tooth fairy but at the time my parents could barely afford existence so I don't think the tooth fairy was coming to visit me. My mom had to save up so we could go to the corner store for some penny candy once a month. She would save up for the $2 kid meal at our favourite place to eat once a month and we would walk the 26 blocks there and 26 blocks back because if she paid for the meal she could not afford the bus, and my dad would stay home and sleep because he was depressed. So really I was not worried about the tooth fairy. I can see how some kids would have been though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 It was pretty much accepted in those years and seems like every second person had their baby teeth pulled that way. I don't know any who were traumatised by it, but I do know that they were looking forward to the tooth fairy, lol. We've come a long way since those times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I have never heard of this string + door knob phenomenon at least that's not how they did it in my family. We did use string, mostly sewing cotton though or father would just pull the tooth out with his fingers. Using the door knob sounds barbaric but I suppose back in those days it was totally normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 The idea of using the door knob wasn't to make it worse but to make it quicker and more likely to succeed on the first attempt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptomisticGirl Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 The idea of using the door knob wasn't to make it worse but to make it quicker and more likely to succeed on the first attempt. Yep. I enjoyed the door knob compared to my dad taking mine out with plyers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilliesFan001 Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 Why are doorknobs and plyers the only options? What happened to just letting it fall out on its own? Strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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