22n32 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Wish u all the luck.. u seem pretty defensive about it... Tell u this much. If I'm really had a good connection with a girl or I liked her. I would of sent a how's ur day or hi text on Sunday or Monday.. it really takes 5 sec to do so.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm not defensive just because I don't agree with you lol I was feeling the same way, but I realize that everyone is different. It could be that he's not that interested and since I texted him he figured why not, or it could be that he didn't want to seem too eager. I've dated guys that have texted the next day and frequently and they've turned out to be super clingy and intense. Not to say that all guys to text the next day are, but it's also not a surefire way of saying that this is how it should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubb Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 So let me ask u.. why would it take 3 plus days and he makes no contact??? No matter how busy you are u can make 5 minutes of time to send a hi text or something... My opnion its games or he is just not that into u.. but will play along if u make the effort.. which u did by contacting him. And do u really believe when u texted him he said oh I was about to text u? Common really.. I'm not saying its wrong for a girl to text first.. but after how u left it sat night.. maybe the next few text. He should of made the intital contact.. guys do like the Chase and women have a better understanding of the guys intrest.. He did text her.. Said it was nice meeting her that night.. and planned to text her today to ask her out.. seems pretty straight to me. I deal in a smilar manner and it's not always games. there is a chance he is dating multiple people(he's entitled to that at this point), busy, sick, who knows..bottom line he asked her out. I think you're off here man. I'm confident he's interested enough to genuinly want to see her again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 He did text her.. Said it was nice meeting her that night.. and planned to text her today to ask her out.. seems pretty straight to me. I deal in a smilar manner and it's not always games. there is a chance he is dating multiple people(he's entitled to that at this point), busy, sick, who knows..bottom line he asked her out. I think you're off here man. I'm confident he's interested enough to genuinly want to see her again Were does it say he was gonna text her today??? That's what he said to her after she texted him... That's easy to say afterwards... My concern was if he was intrested in her and isn't about playing games. Why in 3 days he didn't take 5 sec to write her a text??? And no doubt he likes her in one way or another... But how much and what level.. most guys that have some intrest in a girl is not gonna turn them down.. when there the one calling.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Like I said. Wish her luck and no doubt he is intrested somehow.. But I think she should of waited for him to text her first. And I'm not talking about the first night.. that doesn't count.. its late and drunk.. And sometimes guys thru that out to see if a girl bites. Like it was nice meeting u do u wanna hang out or come to this after hour thing.. He could do that.. but couldnt over the next 3 days... Hmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I was in a similar situation last month - really hit it off with a guy at a party, stayed up until very late talking to him (and flirting). We did not exchange numbers at the end of the night, but he had plenty of ways (email, facebook) to get in touch with me. I really thought he would, but after a few days he hadn't, so I emailed him asking him to dinner. He replied that it had been really great to see me, and that he would love to have dinner. So we did. We've been on four dates now (one was a whole weekend where he stayed at my place), and to me he seems interested and eager to see me again (by seems interested I mean he asked me out for this week and for when I come back from vacation). It's possible that the guy is not super interested, but it's also possible he was a bit shy/nervous/waiting, and that's why he hadn't gotten in touch with Dali. I don't think it's a big bad sign that he had not gotten in touch yet, nor do I think it's a big deal that Dali texted. How the date on Thursday goes is going to be much more important than who texted whom first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I agree what matters is going forward... I'm just confused why no text for days.. I guess I'm a go getter and really go after what I want and everyone isn't like that... The women I deal with always say they never do the chasing and let the guys Chase them at least for the first few dates then its more 50/50.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadchick83 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I think it depends a little on age/status. I think it is ok for a woman or man to do what is comfortable for them. Personally, if a guy is older than me and more established, I'm just not comfortable doing more than my share...it kinda takes the sexiness out of it. I think its great they have a date, and I agree, after the first few dates, it doesn't really matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Of course I would have preferred that he texted first, but I'm also not one to believe it's all a guy's work and I don't have to do a thing. Guys get just as anxious and scared of rejection as girls do, so I feel like sending an innocent text first to let him know I'm interested can't hurt if he is really interested. When I was talking to my ex, it took me actually telling him I liked him before he would really do anything. We had gone on two dates and he said he had no idea I would be interested in him. And as soon as I told him he cut it off with the girl he had started seeing so that we could date. So it's just not always so cut and dry. And he wasn't drunk at all that night, so that wasn't part of situation. I'm not getting my hopes up about this at all, but trying to remain optimistic at the same time. He texted me back immediately and was quick to ask me out, so we'll see how it all pans out. Thanks for all of the support! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CookieMonster8 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I'm not getting my hopes up about this at all, but trying to remain optimistic at the same time. He texted me back immediately and was quick to ask me out, so we'll see how it all pans out. Thanks for all of the support! Good luck!!! Have fun!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubb Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Were does it say he was gonna text her today??? That's what he said to her after she texted him... That's easy to say afterwards... My concern was if he was intrested in her and isn't about playing games. Why in 3 days he didn't take 5 sec to write her a text??? And no doubt he likes her in one way or another... But how much and what level.. most guys that have some intrest in a girl is not gonna turn them down.. when there the one calling.. You're assuming things based off how you interact with girls. not all guys are like that...Again, bottom line he invited her out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 You're assuming things based off how you interact with girls. not all guys are like that...Again, bottom line he invited her out... More to convo then him asking her out.. human behavior works in patterns and she was made aware of it.. That in itself shouldn't detour from the main objective of going out on a date.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I agree those all could be a reason for him.. and I told u my side of the not calling.. and why women and men follow those guidlines, has nothing to do with games.. Have fun and maybe it will be the guy.. you took control of the sirutaion, sounds like your go getter too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brazilgirl21 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Do on the date on Thursday and enjoy. No need to over-analyze the situation yet. Hey, maybe he wasn't THAT interested but after Thursday he will get to know eachother and WILL become interested? I mean, what did you have to loose really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Well he seemed pretty interested Saturday night, so who the heck knows what is going on lol. I don't expect him to be immediately in love with me, I get freaked out when guys are intense right from the start. So one thing at a time. I still get nervous about the different look thing...I know its ridiculous of me but I can't help it. I don't know if I should wear glasses or not, but my hair will have to be curly cause I have no time to straighten it. I'm barely going to have time to get ready because I have a home visit 45 min to an hour away at 4 and it's supposed to snow tomorrow afternoon. I usually don't leave that house until 5ish and it could go longer cause the kid is not doing great...it's going to be a long day haha. I think I got asked out today at the gym but I can't tell. I met this guy on eHarmony maybe two years ago? We went on one date, he asked me out for a second during the date, then canceled on me the day or the day before saying it wasn't the right time for him to be dating someone. No big deal. We go to the same gym so we talk when see each other, which has been more frequently lately. I saw him today and mentioned this bar I went to for the first time last night and he asked if I was able to eat there, which I wasn't because they weren't serving dinner. He was like, well if you want to eat there sometime I'd go with you. I said sure cause we're friendly and I really want to eat there haha. He said we'd figure it out after the holidays. I have no clue if he means as friends or a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Awesome! Look at you with all of your options. Good luck D-gal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Yea I don't know how interested I am in this other guy though...I don't really want it to be a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadchick83 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Dali, these guys can smell your desirability!!! You go girl!! Ill bet you will pick up another between now and tonight!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Haha actually...this guy who works for another part of my agency got hurt and had to work for us for a couple months. This was in the spring I think and he's been gone for awhile, but one of my coworkers always said he liked me and I kind of picked up on it but wasn't really interested. He came back maybe a month ago for a training and she mentioned it again and wanted us to date. Then today he was back for another training and she called me up to the front to say hi to him. And then on his break and when he got out, he came downstairs to my cubicle to chat and was kind of talking about finding a way to see me again. I don't know though. Anyway, I got home from the date a little bit ago. I'm confused. I thought the date went really well. We talked easily, had great conversations, asked questions about each other, joked around. He took me home and we sat outside my apartment talking for a bit. He asked me questions about my neighborhood and the house I live in...so he definitely wasn't eager to get rid of me. We have the same favorite tv shows and we talked about that forever, trading favorite moments. Then we said goodbye in the car, hugged and a kiss on the cheek. I had mentioned earlier that I was thinking of going to Pittsburgh this weekend but I don't think I am. He asked me a couple times if I was going and I always said no, he asked again while I was getting my keys out of my purse and I said no again and he goes, well if we end up going out this weekend I'll let you know. Weird......I mean I feel like he said that because he didn't want to be rude but didn't want to ask me out? Or maybe he wasn't sure I was interested so it's just what came out of his mouth. I'm HORRIBLE at flirting...I talk to everyone the same. My friend said yesterday that I don't necessarily need to be a flirty person because I'm outgoing enough that I can form a connection with people easily and I don't need the flirting to create that. But I think I don't always show when I'm interested. I know my ex had a hard time knowing that before we started dating. So I think I'm going to send him a text tomorrow thanking him again and saying I hope we can do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadchick83 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Im glad the date went well...dont send the text. Im not sure if he was just being nervous, but you going out this weekend shouldn't be contingent upon him going out with the other people. Let him chase you a bit. If you thanked him at the end of the date, that;s enough thanking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Yea but I'm so bad at showing I'm interested. I'm talking to a guy friend and he flat out said I'm hard to read. I feel like sometimes, without meaning to, I send off vibes that I'm not interested. And I don't want to risk that I did that tonight and he's sitting there saying I'm not into him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubb Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 sounds like he was nervous.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 I hope you're right. From what I know of him so far, I really do like him. If you read my dating journal, you'd know that usually I'm finding something wrong with a guy at this point and finding reasons to not see the guy again. I just want to see more of him. I hope that I didn't screw it up or he lost interest. I'll be fine of course if that's the case, but I just hope it isn't haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
22n32 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Glad to hear u had a goodtime... My thoughts on it could be several things the biggest prob 85% is he was nervous shy intrested in u and wanted to make a good impression and for u to like him... There is a small % that maybe he didn't feel the chemistry and that could be from your side and his side.. Best action is don't Chase him, call or set up dates or mettings.. next 2-4 dates let him call u and arrange dates or to hangout.. this doesn't mean when u guys go out if at the end he ask wanna hang out. Just say yes, id like that no games to build attraction His action over the next couple of weeks should tell u a lot more on his intrest level.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 I hope it's that 85%! haha I still want just to send that one text. If he picked up on any disinterested in my side, I want to squash that. I won't ask him out or pursue him aside from that, but I want to know I did my part to let him know that I want to see him again. I don't see it as chasing him and if he doesn't like it, then he really can't be all that interested in me haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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