pinksocks Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 That's why I like coming here... When he makes these comments to me, I am so naive due to loving him that I choose to not see the bad side of them. So to hear all peoples comments really helps clarify things in my mind. I know I need to try harder to get him out of my life, but when love someone it is really hard. I can't delete his contacts as I know his mobile number by heart (ironic as I don't even know my own number!!!) I only contact him when I am feeling really anxious about us and am having a wobble. I hate dreaming about him, it is horrible and cruel! I am trying hard to get over him, but it is so hard. Why do I even still love him after what he has done??? How can I still love someone who is showing traits I really don't like?? Life is strange is it not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 48 hours since new no contact. feel crappy but am determined I don't want him in my life anymore so I need to be strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RastaPasta Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 It is difficult but you will start feeling better. Each day you stay NC is becomes easier. It helped me to write a list of the things I got from being in the relationship (companionship etc). I realized that the things I so desperately felt I needed from my ex, I could get from others. I started drawing on my support system and friends and family and soon enough I hardly had urges to contact him. It will be a roller coaster, these past couple days I have been happy as a lark. But a week ago I was in a two day depression. You will miss them, love them hate them but you have to keep focused on what you are trying to achieve. You're number one priority now is healing yourself. Even if for some weird reason you want him back (I don't know why you would), you can't move on to a new relationship with him until you heal from the old one. Keep your head up, this too shall pass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Thank you rastapasta.... is strange because I know I can never go back to him even if he does split with this new girl. I been thinking about him and all his bad traits which actually now outweigh the good ones in my respect. I have another guy who is interested in me who is attractive and funny and seams really nice.... yet I feel so bad about the ex still, I don't understand it. This new guy who I am just friends with has so much more going on, yet I can't stop feeling bad and missing the one who has treated me bad and is probably lesser attractive of the two. I would never jump into a new relationship anyway hence just chatting and being friends, but I can't understand why I feel so bad about ex fella who has made my life a misery for the last year or so!! Us humans are way too complex I wish I didn't miss him so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYRiverGrl Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Knowing a nice, attractive guy is interested in you has to make you feel better ... even though you truthfully admitted you're not ready to start a new relationship yet. I still miss my ex and I have had constant dreams about him the last few nights. He texted me on Wednesday and I answered ... stupid me ... so I know what you're going through. However, I had a very nice Thanksgiving yesterday without him. Let's all do our best to stick to NC and not respond to their calls, texts and emails! As far as missing the exes ... I guess it takes time to completely unravel that "bond" that develops once we're intimate with them. Time, and NC. Let's all stay strong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario043 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 @pinksocks It's so, so difficult for all of us to keep our heads on straight during times like this.. What's the right thing to do? Will I regret it? Do I trust myself to do the right thing? Am I getting sound advice? I don't know what I would do, given your situation, therefore I would more than likely stay the course and not reply.. If you're not emotionally ready, you're giving someone else control of your emotional state and well being.. You want to be in control.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Hugs for rivergirl.... blummin hard yeah!! I really miss him tonight, don't know why. Feel sick sorry for whining on peeps but it helps me not to contact him!! 3 days since started NC again. I did over a week before I contacted him so I know I can keep on going if I try hard enough!! Gawd... why does he have such a strong hold on me?? ps... you are right mario, I need to be able to be in control of myself before I consider anyone again or else I risk feeling like this all over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 sounds pathetic.... but I wished he still loved me 5 days no contact again for me. I'm doing good again sticking to it, but I do miss him lots oh well...... plod on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnoliatree Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 5 days is great! Keep it up!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 Thank you. Am trying, it is very hard when you miss someone and just want to know they re there. But I know it is pointless and will lead to more hurt. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnoliatree Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 just keep taking it one day at a time!! don't give up hunny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 aaaaaaarrrrghghghghghg.... sorry just feeling down today!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironman73 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I know exactly how you feel. I broke NC and it seemed to be going well and then I got news I was very unhappy about (that he went on a couple of dates with a girl who was LESS intelligent, LESS fun and LESS interesting- BUT had no kids and so it was okay). That absolutely broke my heart and I said a bunch of things that I truly regret and now I can't apologize. I was just taken aback and reverted. So this is day #1 of NC for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 *hugs for ironman* xx I just feel really depressed this afternoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 Hmm, talk more about this new guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYRiverGrl Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 *hugs for ironman* xx I just feel really depressed this afternoon *hugs* for pinksocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 ^ thank you for the hug xx Ms Darcy, is nothing to say really we are just friends and I think is all we will ever be. I can't really feel anything for anyone else at the moment, am too numb Has been a week since started NC today! Nothing from him and nowt from me, I think we are finally done now I wouldn't want him back, but I do miss him loads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 I've got to stop looking at facebook, it hurts!! It's holding me back!!! Dear You.... It has been a week and no contact. I wander if you think of me like I do you. I wonder if you are relieved we haven't contacted each other. I wonder if you are really happy with her after some of the comments you have made. But I know really that I should stop wondering because you gave me up in a most horrible way. I wonder if you realise that it was goodbye and that you were wrong, that you were wrong about me!! Every day I secretly wish you would text me, but really I know that would be bad, even if I don't text you back, it is giving me false hope! I really wish I could stop thinking about you and analysing everything from this past year. I really wish that when my head recalls all your bad points that my heart could feel the same. Most of all I really miss just talking to you, having you there, nothing special just everyday things. It makes sense that you are with her. You said it is not exciting, you don't get those butterflies like with me..... but I know in your practical head she is more suitable, she is a student like you, you always wanted someone doing the same stuff as you. I'm sorry I didn't do that for you, but can't you see that by not doing stuff for you I was trying to help you live your own life and make your own decisions! What will you do if she gives up on you?? Who is going to help you live your own life then?? I didn't want to be your mom, I just wanted to support you. You said I held you back but she has helped you, but do you think by moving straight in with her that she has helped you? You can't spend and time on your own! How is that helping you?? I did want to be with you but I also wanted the best for you, I wanted you to be able to be you as well as be with me, but I guess I was wrong to think you would be able to do that. You moved straight out from your mom and practically straight in with her, and I think you'll find that she is the one who has held you back because take her out of the equasion and you are going to find life very hard because you never learn't to be with yourself! So you see, you are wrong, I didn't hold you back, I was trying to ensure an equal future for us both I was trying to help you grow I just wanted to get that out. You have said some pretty horrible things to me, so hurtfull. I hope one day you will realise that you were wrong and see the good in me again. I hurt still. I feel empty. I really just hope these feeling go sooner rather than later so I can get my life back on track. I know I will never forget you and our time, but I don't want to..... I just want it to stop being the only thing I think of and to not hurt when I do think of you. I don't like you. But I do love you. I hope one day you get your own life and not have to depend on others. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 Nearly 2 weeks no contact this time and already I feel much better!! I really feel I am at last over the worst and if he never contacted me again I wouldn't be bothered, and in fact would probably be relieved!! All those times I broke no contact..... and you were all right, it REALLY is the best thing to help healing!! Thanks enotalone.... you have been my best friend through these hard times *Biiig Hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYRiverGrl Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 Nearly 2 weeks no contact this time and already I feel much better!! I really feel I am at last over the worst and if he never contacted me again I wouldn't be bothered, and in fact would probably be relieved!! All those times I broke no contact..... and you were all right, it REALLY is the best thing to help healing!! Thanks enotalone.... you have been my best friend through these hard times *Biiig Hugs* Thank you for posting your successes with No Contact. It inspires me to to resolve to stick to it as well. Good job! Facebook ... I trashed my account weeks ago because I was too tempted to snoop in his and his new gf's page! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted December 13, 2011 Author Share Posted December 13, 2011 Aww thank you! It's been 3 weeks no contact . He did text me telling me he really really missed me, but I never replied and he hasn't text since! Yesterday I felt good and thought I was over him. I was thinking how 3 weeks feels like months and I already feel distanced from someone I thought was my soulmate. He feels like a stranger to me??? But last night I had a dream about him and woke up all anxious and shakey with a hint of that kicked in the guts feeling! I was doing so well, can't understand how a dream can effect me in this way so much! All that being said.... it hasn't made me feel any different, I still wouldn't contact him now and I don't want him back. So a bit of a blip, but at least it has shown me I can feel bad n sad yet carry on in the right direction!! I'll just ride this one out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 Am pretty annoyed with myself, I broke no contact!! It has been just over 3 weeks and last weekend I managed to ignore one "Really miss you text" Last night I got two texts saying he misss me still and trying to manipulate me into answering by saying "guess is not mutual". I ignored them at first but the more I thought about them the angrier I got and I ended up sending a text, I didn't actually say anything just sent a row of question marks!! My intention was to send " * * * " but I sent them instead. We have not text eac other since. I was just so angry!! I woke up today feeling all anxious. Why did I let him get to me!! What the heck does he want from me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinksocks Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 He told e he still loves me I got annoyed and said some horrible things to him. Not spoke now for 24 hours but I feel bad again now when I was starting to feel good!! Why did he have to text me why couldnt he just stay away, I was doing so well. He is a selfish **** why do they keep coming back after they dump you?????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeepman41 Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 He told e he still loves me I got annoyed and said some horrible things to him. Not spoke now for 24 hours but I feel bad again now when I was starting to feel good!! Why did he have to text me why couldnt he just stay away, I was doing so well. He is a selfish **** why do they keep coming back after they dump you?????? Hey pinsocks, your avatar tells you everything you need to know about your ex. But never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KYRiverGrl Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Hey Pinksocks, read post #63 in my thread here ... this is what happened to me when ex asked me back and I caved ... There's no guarantee that will happen to you with him, but you are playing Russian Roulette with your heart if you cave. I gambled and lost. It happens to alot of us, but stay strong so it doesn't happen to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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