Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Still admist all of this for some reason i dont think he would cheat on me but at this point all signs r pointing towards it.......i could SENSE guilt when i took the blame for the chlamydia Now were just waiting for his results Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Wow. And you created this thread about a dinner receipt instead of that?! Yes because i convinced myself if was a false positive.....it does happen i saw alot about in on the internet....im STILL 50/50 THINKING it was a false positive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 That's his fiance not just GF. They shouldn't keep secrets. Im not saying they should, Im syaing he may be made to feel punished for telling the truth at times because his truth flies in the face of what she wants. He wanted to play ball, there was going to be an issue, Im guessing a major one, so he felt that if he just said "I have to work" it would defuse the situation. Is it right to do? No. But if he feels unfairly restricted, thats probably what feeling he cant pursue his own interests with out reprecussions may lead to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Im not saying they should, Im syaing he may be made to feel punished for telling the truth at times because his truth flies in the face of what she wants. He wanted to play ball, there was going to be an issue, Im guessing a major one, so he felt that if he just said "I have to work" it would defuse the situation. Is it right to do? No. But if he feels unfairly restricted, thats probably what feeling he cant pursue his own interests with out reprecussions may lead to. The funny thing is HE made our relationship so resitrictive...i used to go out with friend every weekend and he would get jealous so i made him my NUMBER 1 priority and i guess it was too much for him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Yes because i convinced myself if was a false positive.....it does happen i saw alot about in on the internet.... You're even saying now that you "convinced yourself". Do you need it displayed on a billboard? He's cheating on you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Wait - I missed the chlamidya. Sorry, you have right to feel the way you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 It is extremely common for people when caught in a lie to turn it around and attack the person who caught them... they don't have a good explanation and know it so hope to intimidate you into stopping asking them more questions. I'll never forget when i was married my ex-husband was trying/supposed to be quitting smoking, and he said he needed to 'step outside for some air' which is not normal behavior for him... he started 'stepping out for air' all the time. So once when he did it, I looked out the upstairs window and of course he was smoking. When he came back in, i asked him, have you started smoking again and are taking all these walks to do so? (in a non-accusatory tone), and he just flew at me yelling, why would you say that, of course i'm not smoking again and can't i just have a few minutes of air without you accusing me of that, i want to be healthy and walking is good for me. Then he fuiriously kicked off his shoe, and a cigarette lighter came flying out (that was where he was hiding the lighter so he could walk out without me knowing he was going to smoke). So not only did i see him smoking, but he was caught red-handed (or should i say red-footed) with a cigarette lighter, but had still launched into this nasty attack on me about how dare i suggest he was smoking. So your BFs behavior when confronted with his lie is classic. If a person is innocent of cheating, and a fiance asks what is going on, if there was no cheating the guy most likely would be calm and try to explain or else would be anxious to allay your fears and convince you he wasn't cheating rather than going on the attack. My ex husband lied about a lot of more serious things, and whenever he was asked about them or confronted with his lie, he'd always get angry and attack and storm out. Just a smokescreen to cover his guilt. btw, guynextdoor, of course i know guys eat salads... but what is wrong here is the sudden change in behavior, combined with blowing her off a lot and spending lots of time away from her, lying about his whereabouts, and dinner at a fancy restaurant with a bill for 'date food' and girly drinks that she knows he never drinks. That pretty much points to high odds of cheating going on, or at best partying a lot where he is buying girls drinks and cruising around with his buddy flirting with girls rather than spending time with his fiance. He's not ready to be married, and could well be a cheater based on the lying and the particular circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Yeah you left a very important clue to your post.. Chlamidya. Yes leave him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Your right but what do I do now? He wont answer any calls or texts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Wait - I missed the chlamidya. Sorry, you have right to feel the way you do I left that out because im half positive if was a false positive but maybe im in denial? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterfly023 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Your right but what do I do now? He wont answer any calls or texts? You STOP calling and texting, that is exactly what you do! He probably is trying to buy time to figure out the next lie or cover up, to convince you not to leave!! RUN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I'm kind of speechless that you nonchalantly told us he gave you an STD and now you're still wondering what to do because he's not answering your calls. Look, it's your life, but he's definitely cheating on you. If you're A-OK with that and don't mind and all that matters to you is staying with him, then that's your decision. But please don't be surprised when things continue to go downhill and you continue to find more clues that he's sleeping with others. You're informed now. You have a responsibility to make a decision. It's yours, but be prepared to accept the consequences of making it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I left that out because im half positive if was a false positive but maybe im in denial? Depends, what makes you think its a false positive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Do nothing... he's mad cause he got caught and is scared you'll ask more questions. He's trying to gain control back, hoping if he freezes you out for a while you'll be desperate to see him and just won't bring it up again and will let it slide. Classic attack/retreat behavior where he's trying to control you and the situation. I hate to say i know too many cases where someone is caught in something like this and the innocent person is who not only is wronged, but is also expected to just forget about it and act like nothing happened when really that just doesn't work and eventually it breaks up anyway once trust is gone. Or there's also a chance that he was already thinking of breaking up and was looking for new women to date (and already dating them). Some guys don't like having a sexual dry spell and won't dump one woman until they have another one on the hook (and women do the same thing too). He could have just been biding him time, then waiting for the right opportunity to go, and figures he's busted now so why bother. So do nothing. See if he calls at all again, and if he does nothing to reassure you and you genuinely think he is cheating or running around on you then there is no point in going further or thinking of marrying him. Better to find out now before being married with a couple kids and discovering he's a big cheater. Silence speaks volumes in cases like this, when if he truly loved you and didn't want to lose you he'd be pursuing you trying to prove his innocence and resolve this. Instead he attacked you and disappeared. That in itself says he's probably cheating or he'd have behaved very differently when confronted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 Depends, what makes you think its a false positive? I did lots of research and there was evidence that chlamydia is mistaken for other bacterias and it is ofte n a falso positive---its more accurate meaning more likely to be false positive rather than negative just to be safe. Either way he just called me and had a really choppy story that made no sense saying they went to the restaraunt at 9:15 (even tho the receipt said they left at 9:15) and then went to drop him off right away...he said his friend bought a round of shots for some girls... and he walked outside (well if he goes to a lounge and starts buying shots--he payed! then that shows BAD intentions--he claims he left and went to the car but i doubt it because theres 2 hours unaccounted for (9-11) and he prolly got a number and he prolly got another std i * * * * in hate him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Oh honey, I'm really sorry... he is trying to lie his way out of the lie! I honestly can't see him saying his buddy is buying shots for girls when he's the one paying for it and you have evidence on the receipt that his story is sketchy! And to eat dinner twice, once there and once with you while claiming to be at the gym? Really, there is nothing much he can say here because he's obviously lying. Call some friends or family to talk about this... get their opinions and talk about it with them... sometimes when you start talking to people you discover more information like their own suspicions or even evidence that they knew something funny was going on but didn't know how to tell you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond78 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Either your man was on a date or he was picking up with girls with this so-called friend of his. And yes, he gave you Chlamydia. And I bet you a million bucks he called this friend to corroborate a lie/story to continue to feed you. If his friend cheats on his girlfriend, I can guarantee you that he is encouraging your guy to do the same and I have no doubt he has cheated on you already. Based on your last post, he is still lying to you about his whereabouts and that's all the evidence you need to confirm it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomgirl123 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Share Posted November 11, 2011 ugh yea all good advice.....he knows hes * * * * ed....if he was innocent i think he would be apologizing instead of tryna get power back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madison12 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 You need to get good and pissed and stop being a fool over him. Your health is nothing to mess around with. What if he had given you something that could never be cured?! He has absolutely NO regard for you, your health, your safety, or your heart. If I were you I would never speak to him again. He obviously thinks you're dumb enough to believe all of his crap. Show him differently, and be glad you didn't marry or have kids with this a$$wipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swampyankee Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 So I looked up Apple Pie Shooters. It's a two-person drink where the drinker takes the shot and then the helper sprinkles cinnamon on their tongue and sprays whipped cream into their mouth. The drinker then swishes it all around and gulps it all down. Sounds like a very flirtatious thing to be doing with a girl. Not something you'd be doing with just a casual acquaintance. He's got a pretty lame defense if he's telling you that he went outside and his friend put the drinks on his tab. Nevertheless, it sounds like the guy is lying to you and covering up some very bad behavior, i.e.; blowing off work to play basketball, etc. Whether he's actually cheating on you or not is incidental. He sounds like a very childish and irresponsible person. At this stage of the game you really want to consider those red flags you're seeing. However he's acting right now isn't going to change after you get married. In fact, it could get much worse. You could end up carrying the burden of a home with a deadbeat guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 He gave you an STD. Lied to you about where he was. Told you that you can't hang out with your friend. Got angry at you when you confronted his lying. And it matters if he's cheating because? Just leave. This relationship is a disaster. Checking his phone records is irrelevant. For your part in things, snooping is never okay, nor is ditching your friends because a bf asked you to, or blaming a bf's friend for your actual bf's terrible behavior. He's an adult- nobody *makes* him do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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