i19 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Hey all, A girl who is a friend is travelling to attend an event that will include drinking located on my campus with me and some other people. She asked if she could sleep in my dorm, since she did not want to travel back late at night. Is there a possibility that she wants to.....sleep in my bed and not on my couch (to put it euphemistically)? I don't want to offend her in any way or make mistaken assumptions. I wasn't going to attribute any hidden meaning beyond the explicit, but I have a tendency to be oblivious to girls' signals. So my question is, is there a possibility that she wants more out of the night than a place to crash, and if that possibility exists how do I determine what her intentions are? Or should I simply assume she just wants a place to stay and nothing more (it is a valid reason after all), and make no moves, take no actions beyond having a friendly time with her and the rest of our people, and leave it at that? -i19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WildHorse Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Don't make a move. Offer her the couch... It's the gentlemanly thing to do. If something is going to happen, let her be the one to initiate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracelove Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Hey There! Is this a good friend of yours? Have you been friends for a while? If so, she probably just wants a place to crash. If this were a dating relationship then maybe you'd have cause for concern. Since you're friends, don't put the moves on her, if you do she may become offended. If she's willing to crash at your place after drinking, that means she must trust you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i19 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Alright guys, thanks for your thoughts. Now I can comfortably act like a gentleman without worrying that I'm missing out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Considering the kind of event that she's coming to campus to attend, it could be either or. Whether you decide to nail her or not, whatever you do, just be a gentleman about it. It can go a long way. ~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I would honestly offer to find a female friend for her to stay with. I think its a little rude for someone to go to an event and say "i am staying at your place." And if something happens between her and your roommate while she is drunk, it could have serious consequences. If you really like this girl, do things when you are both sober versus hoping for the drunk booty call that could get you in trouble. You are also acting like you have no choice. Does she want to sleep with you? who knwos? But are you going to be a gnetleman considering that she is going to be drunk?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
april15 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Spend a little time talking to her. See if you can get her to show you how she feels. If all else fails, you can come out and say it, "I find you attractive and was thinking about kissing you but don't want to make things uncomfortable for later tonight." That way you can be a perfect host and treat her to whatever she is looking for by staying at your dorm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capilot Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 When you get back to your place, say "Here we are; I can offer you a couch or half a bed." Then leave what happens next up to her choice. But first, do you want to sleep with her? Your posts don't seem to say either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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