ljpearso Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Background: My girlfriend and I have been dating for just about three months now, but several (I'm not sure on the exact date) months ago she had to break off an engagement with a guy she'd been with on and off for 3 years. I'm not exactly when along the timeline this happened, but she was prescribed an antidepressant that caused her to gain a lot of weight in a short period of time. Last night she kind of broke down...we'd taken those cute little photobooth pictures together and she was convinced she looked like a man...and then her mom had to go and tell her something along the lines of "we all love you and think you're beautiful, you just need a different hair cut." All of that triggered a lot for her. I was thankful that she was able to tell me a lot about what she was feeling when we went to my house later, but I was pretty damn useless. I decided to put this in with the GLBT threads because I feel this issue is further complicated by the fact that we're both women and I think she compares herself to me physically. And even further complicated by the fact that I used to be dangerously anorexic/bulemic, so I know exactly how awful and powerful all the "ED thoughts" are. What I want to know is: How can I convince her how beautiful and perfect she is right now? She's obviously not happy with her appearance and has expressed a desire to change. I told her I would start doing yoga with her, because yoga is as much of a mindfulness exercise as it is a physical one. However, it's also sort of triggering to me to give her the guidance she's asking me for. I also wish there was a way I could tell her to stop listening to her mom's comments on her physical appearance without sounding disrespectful to her mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mesemene Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Not sure if it would help or not - but maybe leave a post-it where she'll find it at the beginning of each day, just saying something you find particularly sexy, beautiful, or attractive about her. Don't overwhelm her with compliments - but sometimes, the little things stick with you. *cough* I actually had a rather illuminating talk with my husband the other day - one of the things about myself I always thought of as a "least attractive" thing - was something he thought was particularly pleasing and hot! I was sincerely shocked! I've always been a bit self-conscious of my butt, because to me, it looked like a "boy's butt" and not feminine at all - and he thinks it's perfectly shaped. To the point of waxing poetic about it O_O Just a small thing - but shows that sometimes things we think are less than ideal - might be something our partners absolutely go nuts for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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