The online dating....thing?

[r0ckox]

Okay, I don't really know where to begin with this... I've been around the 'online' dating scene thing - and I do realize that people are shallow. They only care about your looks and will respond to you accordingly. However, sometimes I interact with people and they're just so confusing. I try not to let it get to me, but it's just odd the way people act. Maybe you guys can help me here.

 

 

Anyway, I was browsing around POF and I saw a cute girl who's picture drew me in. I'm the type to read a person's whole profile before I send a message out, because I want to see how they view themselves before wasting my time. So I read her profile, and sent her a short 3 line message that had to do with her profile, which included a compliment.

Afterwards, I looked at my "sent" mail and realized that my default subject line never changed, even though I had gone to my settings and changed it earlier. The default subject line was "you'll read this." which was meant as a joke when I was creating the account just because I didn't know what to put. I had forgotten about it and sent a "quick" message anyway.

 

I sent another msg with the subject "oops" in which I told her to ignore my silly subject line from the first message, as the settings didn't change for some reason.

 

I checked the site a few hours later and she had replied, but the reply wasn't to my original message (even though it was "re read this." instead of re and she said "lol i definitely read it though lol

 

I didn't respond because I was on my way out the door and figured I'd respond to it later, but never got around to it as it was suuch a long day. I didn't think it would have been a big deal as she didn't seem like she was open to communication since she said nothing about my original message.

 

The next morning, she sent me another message and all she said was "hi" - so I replied back saying "Hey!!" and I've never heard anything back? She's been online a good 10 times since then, so now I'm confused. Had she not sent me the "hi" message, I'd have just thought that she was being nice and replying for the sake of replying (as she didn't open the door for communication in her original reply) but she went ahead and messaged me again anyway.

 

So......I mean I don't really know what I'm asking.. it just seems a little...off? She seemed like she didn't want to talk and was just being nice, but then sends another message opening up communication, and then never replied when I did - so what's that about? It's happened to me a few times over the years and I'm never able to get my finger on it.

 

She hasn't even viewed my profile - which is another thing that strikes me as odd. POF has that "viewed me" feature where you can see the people who've looked at it.. and I don't know, it just seems odd to me is all; it tells me she's not interested, but if that's the case... why the added "hi" for?

 

 

 

....if any of this makes sense.

[laura40]

Either she's really shy, or just genuinely does not know how to start a conversation. I see the second message of saying just hi a good thing as she could have easily ignored you if she didn't want to chat. As you have replied to her then wait for a response. If she doesn't respond then no harm done and you can go off and find another woman.

 

Personally, if a man said just "hi" to me without any thought or questions then I would probably not want to chat to them, unless it was just a way to start the conversation off.

[John3572]

First off, take everyone and anyone online with a grain of salt. They will not give you the same respect that you give them and or that you deserve. Reason being, they do not have face-to-face consequences. If they wrong you all they have to do is delete your next message. It doesn't make it right, but most people don't do the right thing when they will not have to answer for their actions or face the person that wronged them.

 

As far as that woman, let it be. If she would do that to you online, don't waste your time meeting her. I've found that the colors that people show in the beginning are the same colors they show at the end. There are many times when I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if I would've cut ties the first time I saw any b.s. from women. Instead I gave them the benefit of the doubt and end up burnt. Don't do it, if they don't make the effort in the beginning, they won't make the effort throughout. You owe yourself not to set yourself up with that.

[r0ckox]

Yeah, I understand that. I've been around the online thing for a while now and I've grown accustom to the way people act... it just confuses me why she'd open the door for communication, then ignore me when I respond. To me, it makes no logical sense.. if she wasn't interested - she wouldn't reply at all....so why waste the time with another message? okay.. i get shy and whatever - but i responded in a decent way.. she said hi, i said Hey!! (the exclamation points show enthusiasm i guess) so you'd think she could reply saying "whats up" or something lame like that.... but to just ignore it.. thats what i don't understand.

[clorenzen]

PoF does have the option to hide whether you've viewed someone's profile. Maybe she did view you and had that set to hide her from the list.

[r0ckox]

True. forgot about that

[Thorshammer]

You said hey to a hi, thats not a conversation, just a random greeting. You should always respond with a question for the purpose of keeping the communication alive. And I dont believe in shyness when it comes to informal online communication.