rosie smith Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Actually ... Only the ex-boyfriend in question can know if he likes her or not. The OP can make educated guesses, but he is the only one who knows for sure. i agree with that but I do thik one kind of knows if you relationship is completely over or if there is still a little something, something there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I don't necessarily agree with that. I think it's very easy for someone, especially when they are experiencing extreme emotional turmoil, to be completely unrealistic about their chances for reconciliation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Yes it is logical to think if someone wanted to get back together they would come and talk it out. So, it makes sense as well that if he doesn't want to take that action, that he doesnt want to get back with you. It is over. He is just using words about some point in the future so you dont' so off on trying to get him back. And all that calling -- friend, work --- proves his point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man Who Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 The problem being as well is as most of us know, if we're emotional about something one minute the emotion can change in a split second to something else. If the guy is saying he wants space then go with what you know, he wants space therefore give him some. If you think something else is going on, never ever assume, just simply go with what he says. However, work on yourself in this "alone" time and go out and enjoy yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 yeah only he knows how he truly feels about me. He seemed pretty happy the last time we hung out when he said what he said but then he started avoiding me and has not contacted me,he wont even get online. I understand the no contact thing and if someone wants you they'll come to you but at the same time,continuing to not hear from him and not confronting him is making me miserable. I could talk all day about this but he is the only one who could help at all unless he just tells me what he thinks I wanna hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 and I just noticed you're in Scotland. I'd like to go there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 when I was with him,though,he did some things I would think he wouldnt have done if he didnt have feelings for me like putting his arms around me to warm me up when we were outside,he tickled me playing around with me,and he came up behind me and put his arms around me. But now nothing so I've wondered if he did those things because I was there. We cuddled,too and we left on a good note. He told me at one point he is afraid to show his emotions. And again,he also said he wanted to be alone before because it was too fast and too serious. He is the one who asked me out,though and he liked me the whole time and I only wanted to be his friend in the beginning. I almost wish it had stayed that way for me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I'm of the opinion that when someone shows you who they are, you should pay attention. Words are so confusing; he could have meant a thousand different things when he told you "eventually...". But actions are startlingly simple...it just comes down to whether or not you are brave enough to take his actions for what they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 and I know actions speak louder than words and I know what his actions are saying. There is still that part of me that wants to confront him though because of his words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 You are searching for things to "prove" to yourself he is interested. He really isn't. You need to see his actions and words for what they are ---- a departure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 It's up to you, and how much pain you want to put yourself through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 I dont want to be in pain trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I don't blame you. If that's the case, you may want to re-examine what is truly realistic where expectations are concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 lol I doubt it when he is avoiding me and wont even get online. And there was nothing pathetic about me asking him about getting back together. I certainly wasnt trying to 'pin him down' either. I think it's pathetic for someone to lie and say they want back eventually then avoid you and hide from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosie smith Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 witchy chick did he tell you he needs space and wants to be alone right now? cause if he does I would just do that, my ex also did a similar thing with me and yes he has issues when he sees me and has cried and all sorts but sometimes I think that is just due to things getting very bad with us after the break up, either way we left each other alone cause he needed that but if this guy truly cares for you let him sort himself out, cause men need time to do that, they are not like us women when they know how they feel straight away and all that honestly I can really feel where you coming from, my ex never said that he wanted me back and at the mo we are just going our separate ways and then whatever happens after that happens. also if he did not tell you when he wanted to get back to you, it might just be that he needs more time, men just need time and look may be it is over with you guys, but calling him so much is just gonna push him away, you should of just called him once and left it at that really honestly though you can round and round about all these things forever and a day, it does not achieve anything, you will never know how he feels the same way I will never know how my ex feels, the same way he will never know that I know about his secret girlfriend but either way we are both in really annoying situations but what can you do about apart from pray for a miricle and get on with your own life and try to forget about him. cause all I can do is tell you the short version of my story that is my ex and I were spending time together then I went into NC with him then he started having his secret affair or romance or whatever he still does not know I know about her and even when he got on the phone crying to me saying how he wanted to get to know me again, after he felt better and then when back to this girl five days. two months on, I told him to move on with his life and he said he agrees we should go our separate ways for now, like I was asking for his permission in any of this and seriously I have been confused in tears and everything over him and when I see him on occasions and I can still see he has issues with me and I feel like he wants to push me away incase may be I hurt him again, he has never told me that is not the but either way you might never know the truth about your ex, I might never know the truth about mine but in the mean time all you can do is avoid them like they do you, don't hang around waiting for them to call you, cause if they are gonna call it will be when you least expect it and until then take your time and heal over everything and become a better person than you were before cause what else can you do just a word of advice but I would not confront your ex it won't get you anywhere, all I would do is leave him personally, I have never told my ex about his secret girlfirend and I would not unless the timing is right and until I have anything else to worry about with him I ended things on a nice note with us, was the bigger person cause that is all I could. ps please though just leave this guy alone for now and if he calls you he calls you and if not you know were you stand cause honeslty it is all you can do and even though one day I do believe that I will have the last laugh when I kill my ex for going off with someone other for sex, who knows that might not happen but as time goes by it does get easier I promise. wishing you all the best and if it helps at all learn from my crazy love life, talk about 8 years of my life down the drain and in the end I had to dump him and I still think may be he thinks he had a saying in the dumping, life is a joke sometimes I tell you take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 no what he said when I asked him about us getting back together was he wanted to eventually,I by the way even asked him again if he wanted back eventually after he said he did and he shook his head yes. He just said he wanted to see if things got better but then he hasnt contacted me and again avoided me. I guess I won't do anything else even though it's hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 he even said maybe he'd come over that day-the day I last saw him but he didnt,and I asked when he'd come over if not that day and he said maybe Monday but nothing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 and I did ask him when he'd wanna get back,I asked a year? he said he didnt know and he hoped not. I said six months? he said no. Then I asked 2 months and he said maybe probably less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 From my perspective, asking someone if/when they want to get back together is a lot of pressure. He broke up because he's not feeling in love/compatible/right or whatever. He has no clue how he is going to feel in six months or a year, so it's false for him to say that to you. I think he was moreso saying it because that is CLEARLY what you want and it was hard for him to turn you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 he said he broke up with me because we argued. I just naturally wanted to know how long since he said he wanted back eventually. Either way I guess I will finally not do anything else and hopefully he'll contact me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 he should have been honest with me point blank if he wasnt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Well, he wasn't. Now all you can do is quit worrying about him and start worrying about yourself. Take care of yourself, that's all that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 ty and though its hard,I wont contact him again now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witchychick Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 per something a friend of mine said,do you think its possible he could be avoiding me because he just needs time to think about things? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 per something a friend of mine said,do you think its possible he could be avoiding me because he just needs time to think about things? No. Abandon all hope and you'll save yourself some time and unnecessary pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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