i need to runaway, what exactly should i do?

[party_of_italy]

recently i fell in love with someone from canada who is 21. i'm 16, and he is back home now. we still talk on the phone and everything and he wants me to move up there with him. the reason i have to run away is because i was born into a religion that wouldn't allow me to have a relationship with someone outside my religion. if i was to do this my family would completely cut off all communication with me. can you imagine how hard it would be to be 16 and your family won't talk to you? i don't know what to do. my parents definitely don't have any idea about this. i've always known i'm going to run away eventually. but recently my parents got the phone bill and saw the calls to canada. they think the phone company has messed up and has been trying to talk to them about it. but this means i can't talk to him anymore. if i was to runaway to canada to live, what could they do about it? since i'm under and 18 they could come looking for me, but i'm over the border is there really anything they could do? there's nothing left for me here. i have friends from school but i can't hang out with them outside of school cuz of the religion. i'm so scared, and truly in love with this guy.

[avman]

I'll assume you are in the United States.

 

First of all its unlikely you would make it accross the border because at the point you try and cross, Canadian officials will stop you because you are under 18. You can't just walk accross the border without being questioned.

 

Second, if you do make it accross the border, Canadian Immigration CAN deport you and send you back to the US. The US and Canada cooperate fully with things like this and Canada would find you and send you back.

 

I know you are in love. But if this guy was really special he wouldn't want you to do something as dangerous as running away to Canada to be with him. Keep up your communication with this guy. You can still email, instant message, write letters, etc. If you get a phone card you can use it to call him and it will not show up on your parents phone bill.

 

When you are 18, then you can make the decision to move up to be with him if thats still what you want. That wouldn't involve any running away. You would be able to get a job and support yourself. And you'll have some time to figure out whether this guy is really the one you want to be with.

 

Please do not run away. Your chances of getting taken advantage of, raped, or even killed are very high if you try this. Love is worth a lot of things - but its not worth your life.

[Protex]

Also note that if you two did anything sexually, that would be seen as statutatory rape.

 

Also, are you sure this is love? You are young, and your life doesn't seem to be all that great. Are you sure what you feel for this man is love? Or just an oppurtunity at something different.

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

A two year Long distance relationship is the ultimate test. If you two can surrive that, I'd say that he is comitted and you are ready to be closer to him--but don't move in with him right away.

 

Don't tell your parents you are dating. Just pretend he's a friend. But either way, if you do make it up there, I, and most on here, can almost gaurentee you will be ruining your life for reasons that I can't even begin to list.

[party_of_italy]

first of all. yes it is love. i know the difference i've already been through so much. and i know they wouldn't just let me accross. but if i was to bring my birth certificate and get a passport. then what could they do to stop me? couldn't we just say we are cousins, and i came up to visit him? and in canada the legal age is 14 ( just to specify that). but even so thank you for your help. are you absolutely positive the phone card won't show up on the bill?

[PAdreamer]

PHone cards do not show up on the bill because you dial an 800 number to place the call. But I agree that you should do the long distance thing until you're 18 and you aren't causing anymore toruble for yourself than necesary. I know waiting is hard... I'm one of the most impatient person in the world! So if I can do it, anyone can! LOL! And yup! I'm doing it! Just think about it. I know for a fact that you can think you have everything under control and then something unexpected happens and your whole plan gets shot! It is really hard to be stuck in a situation like that, especially if ytou can't turn to your family for support.

[avman]

PAdreamer already answered the phone card question. But to answer your question about having a passport - that doesn't matter once you show up at the border. They will look at it, see you are under 18, look around for your parent, and then deny you access to Canada. They will NOT let a minor cross the border unaccompanied. They will likely take you into custody and then call your parents.

 

As I and the other posters have said - please keep this long distance right now. It can be done. And if its true love, it will withstand the distance.

[PAdreamer]

Avman is right. When my friends went with us to Mexico, they had to have a special authorization from their parents. You can't get accross.

[Amethyst]

The others are right. It doesn't matter what papers you have...they won't let a minor through. When I was in high school, a Canadian friend of mine came to visit me. He was only 17, but was going to make the trip on his own. His parents, however, *did* have to accompany him through customs because he was underage and couldn't get out of the country otherwise.

 

And, before you start trying to think of some way to *sneak* accross the border, let me say this: it's ILLEGAL to cross the border without going through customs. In other words, you could /would be ARRESTED for breaking the law.

 

Don't borrow trouble. Stay where you are until you turn 18. Then, if you still feel the same, you can make your way to Canada.

 

But, please understand, we change as we age and mature. What we consider 'love' at 16 is NOT the same feeling we consider 'love' at 20.