How do you end strife with non communicative ex who is also a coworker?

[philanx]

Here is the short version. I dated a friend for a few months and she broke up with me out of the blue and refused to talk about it. A couple of months later, we tried to be friends for a few months until she started to give me the cold shoulder with no explanation. As I did before, I asked her to talk to me about her anger so we could resolve it and she refused. I felt I had no other choice but to tell her I was not going to interact with her any more because I felt she hated me and didn't want me in her life. She never responded so I did low contact for 6 months.

 

She sent me about one work related email a month and I always responded in a professional manner. A month ago, she sent me a bunch of texts that were inquiring in nature but I gave simple yes and no responses but was not rude. A little while back, we had to spend a few days together at a work related gathering and she was alternately friendly and hostile. I maintained an even temper and acted the same, meaning I was coridal but not overly friendly.

 

That would've been the end of it but I've since found out that she is trying to undermine me at work.

 

I've tried to talk to her before but she refuses to communicate unless its her initiating the contact. She has a reputation as a very controlling person and doesn't have any close friends. She's also known to be very vindictive.

 

My problem is I really don't want to fight with her but I dont' know how to resolve it because she won't be open about anything.

 

I hate to spend my time and energy over someone I thought would have just been happy that I went my own way after the breakup.

 

Any suggestions? I dont want to bring it up in work and would like to find a solution outside of the workplace.