After 6 months of low contact we had to spend 4 confusing days together

[philanx]

The ex pushed me away around 6 months ago and I went into NC. About once a month, I would receive a short email because we have the same employer and sometimes are on the same project group. I always replied respectfully and never pushed further.

 

Two weeks ago, we had to spend 4 days together at a group project training. I thought I would be friendly and non chalant during our time together and not bring up anything from the past. I was able to do that and stayed focused on our tasks.

 

The confusing part was that she was very unfriendly and was downright hostile at times. I didnt know what to make of it since she was the one who broke up with me (with no explanation) and never wanted to talk about it any further. Some days she would be briefly friendly in private but tended to avoid me unless others were around. This was okay with me because I wasn't trying to have any private conversations with her.

 

I feel like I took the right approach and didn't lower myself to putting on a fake front and didn't act needy or anything. I stayed busy the whole time. I guess the one thing I expected was that we might agree to let bygones be bygones but that never happened. I saw her again the other day and she wasn't friendly so I politely said hello and kept walking.

 

Some will say I am not over it or that I need to ignore it but I have to work with her again and I'm just puzzled about why the dumper would act that way towards someone who has given them their space, not tried to contact them and acts respectful in their presence.

[Naomi99]

I think she's being mean because she doesn't want to lead you on by being nice.

[philanx]

That's true.

 

I have to say that I've always responded with curt but polite replies and never tried to initiate any conversation over the past 6 months.

 

The only reason I didn't completely ignore all her short emails or texts was that I didn't want to seem like I was angry or holding a grudge.

 

Maybe if I had acted angry towards her over the past 6 months then she might be acting nice to me instead of hostile.