The "OK, you've started, don't stop now!" Journal

[Mesemene]

Oh I'm actually excited now.

 

First - this was the first month on the 14 days of progesterone. And my menses, except a bit of extra cramping - were NORMAL. Done in 5 days. I could break out in the Hallelujah Chorus for that alone.

 

Second - did a weigh in this morning at the gym and I've lost another 3 lbs since Wednesday. So pushing myself even when I don't feel like it is actually paying off - which is incentive to keep doing it.

 

If I can lose another 7-10 lbs before my next appt at the docs I'll be thrilled. It's Jan 14, so about a month.

 

If I can keep a steady loss amount, I could potentially be at my goal around May-June, in time for bathing suit weather. Of course, out here, skimpy clothing weather is all but Dec-Feb or so... it's supposed to be 77 later this week, so we never go to heavy clothing for long or except at night in "winter" as they laughingly call it.

 

I have another ultrasound on my thyroid to schedule to check it's progress. No biggie.

 

And I have an orthopedic surgeon to meet regarding my hands. Blech. Hopefully I'll still be able to at least cycle while I'm recovering, damned if I'm going to gain this weight back while recovering.

[Mesemene]

Turned down pizza night from MIL tonight. I was honest about it - I told her since I'm actually seeing results, I'm not willing to tempt myself with even a veggie pizza. She accepted pretty gracefully.

 

(I should also admit for honesty's sake, I'm so tired of pizza I could vomit.)

 

Considering if I'm going to ask SIL to keep an ear on the boyo's while I run to the gym for round 2 today, or whether I'll take it easy today, and wait til hubs is available tomorrow for the extended workout. Probably wait until tomorrow - one day of only one session isn't going to kill me, and I don't have to worry about imposing tomorrow.

[Mesemene]

It turned out to be a moot point.

 

Gym closes at 7pm Sat and Sun, so those will likely be one shot days for me.

 

I'm officially down to 185 lbs. Doctor weigh in in... I want to say November had me at 204. Last Wednesday had me at 189.

 

Five more and I'll be at the lowest I've been in a few years - matched it, but haven't been under it since we moved into this menagerie.

 

My goal atm is to be UNDER 180 by my bday in January. At this rate, I MIGHT make it by around Christmas and can reset the goal for 175.

 

At least I'm dwelling on something that's not the family dynamic here.

 

This evening I think it'll be spinach, some thin sliced leftover steak, and a pile of mushrooms. I can LIVE on mushrooms. Well, not really, but they and spinach are faves.

[Mesemene]

Well, I did the mushrooms. Some thin sliced leftover steak (maybe 4-5 oz). Didn't do the spinach, because draining it is such a pain.

 

Wow, I'm lazy!

 

Earlier in the day I had a "half salad" at Wendy's - the chicken pecan apple one. Only drizzled a little dressing on, it was all it needed. Man, those pecans were AMAZINGLY good. A bit heavy on the blue cheese for me, but a pretty good flavor combo overall. Not sure it was worth almost 5 bucks, but I was stuck waiting on FIL to have his scope at the med center, and I was freaking STARVING.

 

Still keeping with the "no sugared drinks" edict, and it is hell for me. I just don't like most of the artificial sweeteners much, and well, water alone is getting pretty old.

 

I'd say the biggest struggle right now is pushing myself to keep exercising 2x a day, and not to start taking care of everyone again. Even though I can see results on the scale... I'm still really not happy with the way I've let myself go, and I know this is going to be a long term commitment. So some days more than others I have to question if it's worth it.

 

Hopefully when I can SEE results physically, and not just in numbers, it will give me more incentive to keep pushing through.

[Mesemene]

Today was a lazy day for me.

 

I just couldn't keep my oomph, I was running short of energy and breath walking around the store. Need to check the iron count methinks.

 

I'll take my iron tonight and see if that helps. Tomorrow will be a full workout regardless though. I only did my morning session today.

[Mesemene]

Annnnd caught by Murphy's Law.

 

I have the Sicko Stepson today. Literally - his mom called to say his tummy hurt and could he stay with me today since she doesn't have a sitter. Of course, I said yes.

 

So kiddo comes before workout. Ah well. I'll get in a little one tonight on the way home from taking hubs to work. Hoping the kiddo feels better before the weekend - he was pretty sick earlier (didn't hold down lunch) but was nibbling one of my Honeycrisp apples and it seemed to be sitting ok. (it better, those damn things ain't cheap...)

 

Cooking a couple of new things for the fam this weekend since I have kids. I know, I wasn't going to cook for everyone, but meh, I get bored when I don't... I'm hopeless.

 

In other news, found a couple of potential apartments to look at. Oh I would love to move outta here...

[Seraphim]

Oh oh oh, on a positive note!

 

Hubby has been wanting to get me a replacement wedding ring for 5 years, ever since mine broke during a move.

 

And this is what he picked out for me!!!

 

 

 

*bounce bounce*

 

I should note he had picked out a few that had solitaire gemstones, then called me from work to consult since he knows I'm not big on a lot of jewelry. I gave him some ideas (I prefer something I can wear all the time, that won't catch on anything, and has a special something different) and this was the result.

 

I feel so special!

 

That looks really pretty!!! Is it pink gold?

[Mesemene]

Yes Victoria, it is Just different enough to be different, without being gaudy or something I couldn't wear every day And under 200 bucks (yes, I'm a penny pincher

 

I was just "tickled pink" he'd thought of something for Christmas that was something I'd never have thought of - and yet - would treasure so much. Sometimes as adults it's really hard for anyone to pick just the "right" gift since we have what we need and a lot of us don't have so many "I want ooooh shinies!" anymore.

[Mesemene]

Annnd today is starting off with a decided sigh. Not a bang, boom, or oomph.

 

Ended up missing the gym completely yesterday - first time in over a week I've missed a day. And I feel like a lump.

 

Made a wrap with a large tortilla with a ton of baby bella mushrooms (seasoned and sauteed), a little muenster cheese, and the last of the leftover steak. Huge one, so cut it in 4 pieces, and had 2 total yesterday. And yet I feel like I pigged. Logically I know that's not the case, but I feel fat today

 

I did do my spinach, went to pick up more (oh dear lord it was good, forgot just HOW much I love that green leafy stuff) and they were sold out. Yes, sold out of SPINACH. The wally world here SUCKS.

 

So I'm taking the addresses of 3 apartments with me when I take mom to work to see what the neighborhoods look like. I'm not expecting anything great. This whole area isn't that great. But as I told hubby - I can take anti-theft precautions, and my puppalump will bark at any intruder (he looks intimidating, but he's a wuss) which usually puts people off. And it would be worth it, to me, to be out of the toxic household atmosphere to live in a somewhat worse area and not have the other toxicity.

 

One I'm pretty sure would be off - when I googlemapped it, the area looked horribly run down. The others have promise though.

[Mesemene]

Oh one thing that for me, will be "fun" is I'm baking some diabetic recipes for hubby's carpool buddy's wife.

 

Apparently she's diabetic, so when people send goodies home for them, she can't eat them.

 

So I'm going to bake some diabetic cheesecake cookies and diabetic banana bread for her and put it in a christmas tin. Hopefully she likes it Since they all work at the hospital, I might make extra to send to work for the folks that can't have or don't like sugar. Oh the third one is pumpkin oatmeal cookies.

 

And if I have enough flour I'll make some choc chip oatmeal cookies after for the fam, and banana bread (I bought a ton of bananas, since they're a popular request item from me.)

 

I do love to bake and give constant thanks I don't have a sweet tooth... or you'd be rolling me out the garage door.

[Mesemene]

First diabetic recipe made, and considering the directions were bollocks, I'm surprised it's edible.

 

MIL thinks they're fantastic. Me, well, to me they're almost like a less sweet whoopie pie (without filling) just as a sugar cookie. I can't really taste the cream cheese. So to me it tastes kinda like a blueberry pancake! (I added some dried blueberries and cranberries.) So they're palatable, just not what I've come to expect in the regular cheesecake cookies I make.

 

But with directions like this: "Splenda to taste" as the ONLY guideline for one of the three major ingredients, the directions left a TON of room for error, since raw dough doesn't taste the same as after it's cooked. Bah. I think next time I'll double the cream cheese, ease back on the baking soda, and get some of the brown sugar blend splenda - and maybe add some cinnamon, nutmeg, and dried apple.

 

Yum.

 

Attempt for tonight - pumpkin oatmeal raisin cookies

And for tomorrow, I need to start cracking on my "famous" banana bread. I say that in quotes because it's one I don't really follow the recipe - I just dump stuff in and adjust as needed. And yet, everyone loves it. I go to way more effort for other stuff without nearly the "wow" factor as a result.

[Mesemene]

The pumpkin oatmeal raisin cookies had a really good flavor.

 

I don't know what the obsession is with adding baking powder to all the splenda recipes, it makes like mini breads or cakes, not what I think of as a cookie. Might try it without the rising agent and see - because apart from that, the flavor was outstanding.

 

Made a veggie casserole tonight. It wasn't what was intended... Ended up putting 1 packet of Spanish Lipton rice and sauce with 1 cup water on the bottom, topped with a layer of yellow squash, zucchini cut longways, mushrooms, chicken tenderloins, and just enough cream of mush soup to cover. Some salt and pepper sprinkled in the squash layers. It tasted AMAZING.

[Mesemene]

I was worried I might have gained some of my excess poundage back, because weekends and the last couple days (baking, baking, baking, driving, driving) haven't given me any wiggle room for gym time - their hours are limited this week and they close at 7pm.

 

Instead, if my scale isn't lying, I've lost a couple more.

 

*dances*

 

I'll know Thursday when I can dive back in full on if I'm right, I can check on the "good" scales.

[Mesemene]

Man, I'm hungry.

 

We basically did our Christmas today. So I baked/glazed a ham and made scalloped potatoes.

 

And ate a piece of ham and no potatoes. Fortunately, not much of a sacrifice, I'm not too big on most starches anyways.

 

Also baked two ginormous loaves of banana bread and sent one, with a selection of cookies I made the other day, to hubby's grandfather. He loves baked goods and mostly only gets them now when I send some along - his wife was a baker when she was alive.

 

Discovered I like the Rockstar vitamin water - pomegranate blueberry flavor. I drove everyone to xmas eve mass tonight, so I needed the caffeine to stay awake.

 

Tomorrow the boys get picked up by their mom for their christmas over at her family - we'll have 'em back tomorrow night. But tomorrow I can sleep... bake... sleep.... did I mention sleep? LOL

 

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good zzzzzzzzzz.....

[Mesemene]

So tired the last couple days.

 

Air quality here was in the red, which meant me and stepson the eldest coughing and gasping our way through the last couple nights. It's supposed to be better today. Watch me holding my breath for that

 

Have to bake the gingerbread today, and need to get eggs and cat litter and brave the store. Ick. However, I suppose hubby will be happier if I feed him tonight And the plague of locusts aka the stepsons have ripped through most of the food.

 

I'll make 'em lunch in an hour or so - and worry about getting hubby's breakfast burritoes made (his go to dinner for work) when I get home.

[Mesemene]

Gingerbread - check

Hubs dinner - check

And cookie dough was on clearance. Sooooo I kind of added a bit

Choc chip cookies - check

Sugar cookies - check

Gingerbread cookies - check

Peanut Butter choc chunk cookies - check

 

I'm exhausted.

[Mesemene]

The holidays are over. Thank God.

 

Don't get me wrong, we had fun, things were good, but oh man... I was so ready for "normal."

 

So, some updating.

 

Having gotten over the head cold and past Mother Nature, it's been back to the gym the last couple days. I didn't gain anything on my sick time, despite falling off the wagon a couple times and eating a bit less than the healthiest. So a bit of a positive there.

 

My daughter, who stopped talking to me 18 months ago, is now talking to me like nothing ever happened. I'm incredibly happy to be on good terms with her again, as we've always enjoyed a very close, if turbulent relationship. A bit frustrating to not have complete resolution, but that's her.

 

My son, who moved out there at Thanksgiving, is already talking about coming home. No. Just No. He has GOT to give this more of a go. He's always had a weakness for setting goals for long - if it doesn't materialize quickly, he loses all drive and just stagnates. He's already driving his sister nuts. But I can guarantee he can't just hop back here 3k miles like "oops, changed my mind." His grandmother will absolutely not have it - and we were using the opportunity to make headway into two things - getting car #2 running so we can retire the current one, and saving for a HOUSE. Yes, I want out so badly I can taste it. However, I DON'T want out so badly I'll move into a rental that's too expensive to save for a place of our own, either.

 

Argh.

[Mesemene]

Well, my bday was a screwed up day, in spades.

 

Got up this morning to a frantic puppalump (pet name for our dog) pacing and whining.

 

One of our cats had been a little off yesterday, but nothing major, still coming up for attention, eating and drinking. Today he crashed, stopped eating, was barely drinking. And the dog was MOST insistent something was terribly wrong, even before we examined him and realized he was getting a bit dehydrated.

 

Off to the vet. And... after bloodwork, xrays, and scoping... bad news. Cardiomyopathy (his heart muscles had thickened and narrowed to low function) and what appeared to be liver tumors. Vet thinks the heart finally just hit that point to show symptoms and the laboring triggered the liver to be overtaxed as well - so within 24 hours, he was starting to jaundice. Prognosis was grim at best, so rather than putting him through exploratory surgery and stomach tubing (which vet said had less than a 10% chance of even helping enough to strengthen him for surgery), we let him go. He was nine years old - young to die for a cat. RIP, Mogwai.

 

This is him playing with our rat. Yes, playing, he would also groom him lol.

 

[Mesemene]

I'm feeling considerably better today. Both kids called to wish me happy yesterday, which helped. I talked to my daughter for at least a couple hours - I feel so fortunate that as my child has grown into a woman, we've made the transition from mother child to her being my best friend and confidante. I must've done something right, even though goodness knows, I made plenty of errors. Kids, unfortunately, don't come with instructions or an owner's manual!

 

Went to work out today (yep, I said I'd be going back this week, and I did a few days ago, go me!) Got on the bike and went to program it. Well, it asks weight (nice to see it dropping), and level (I usually select 4-5) then time. It skipped time, so I figured no biggie, since the default is 20 minutes.

 

Nope, it defaulted to SIXTY minutes.

 

Since I actually had more to get done today than pedal my life away, I stopped at 45 - which was about 8 miles.

 

The upside - yay, I could do it!

The downside - it really wasn't too hard, so I need to step up my regular game either a level, or to at least 30 minutes, not 20. Slacker!

 

And the endorphins, I can safely say, are also probably heavily contributing to lifting my mood. An hour of solid work and sweat will do that. (Hey all you breakup buddies - see - I practice what I preach, I eat a veg based healthy diet, take my vitamins, visit my doc regularly, AND work out extra when I'm down. Because even though getting that posterior in gear when you're down is hard - it DOES work. Stepping off soapbox now...)

[Mesemene]

Side Note - the Dasani cherry pomegranate water flavoring drops are the BOMB.

[Mesemene]

Le sigh.

 

Ate chinese yesterday - not HORRIBLE, but not exactly on the list of recommended options, either.

 

I did work out double today to compensate

 

Picked up some of the salad toppings I want for the next couple days, I'll pick up the greens tomorrow

 

And I think I'll just continue to do 30-40 minute bike rides until they get easier, then step up the level. Did 40 minutes today and even though it was tough, I felt pretty good about it.

 

Onward and upward.

 

At the very least, I'll be too tired to kill my mother in law.

[Mesemene]

So far did 25 minutes this morning, and another 20 this afternoon. If I do ONE more this evening, I'll be over my hour and should've made some more roadway in the fight against flab

[Mesemene]

The cure for insomnia - sheer exhaustion.

 

At least, I hope so. So today I've done transport as usual, worked out (bike, weights, and crunches), did laundry, baked banana bread, did dishes for my SIL, picked up the bratlets, shopped, took stuff to goodwill, and exchanged a too small harness for the puppalump at Petsmart.

 

Whew.

 

I'm just sitting down, and last laundry load is still in the dryer. However, towels and blanket are already folded and put away.

 

(pant pant)

 

Son called me this morning at 8am for "Eggs 101: How to Successfully Hard Boil Eggs and How to Turn Eggs into Egg Salad."

[Mesemene]

As a note - tomorrow will be MUCH calmer as a result of today's chaos.

 

I'm going to slow roast two roasts with a new recipe and roast potatoes in the drippings while they cool. We'll have to see how that works out.

 

And I need to pick up allergy pills for the elder demon child - only have the 4 hour ones, which are a pain for both of us.

[Mesemene]

Roasts are in the oven - had to stay up last night to give them a rubdown with garlic to prepare for today lol. So by the time I got to bed, I DIED.

 

Overall, having a decent day today. Didn't make it to the gym, but that's par for the course with the bratlets here and hubby sleeping for work. I wish they were open later on the weekend, I usually have time AFTER dinner is served, which, sadly, is usually after 7 by the time cleanup is also done.

 

Oh well, a couple days won't kill me, especially if I keep busy busy busy.

 

The unseasonably hot weather here bites the big one. 78-80 multiple days in January? Really?