ButterflyWrists Posted March 9, 2013 Author Share Posted March 9, 2013 Do you ever feel like your life is just a dream? I've never been academic, hardly ever went to school, did really badly at school, was in the lowest sets for everything. Dropped out of my first year of college.. Nearly dropped out of my second and third years of college. Got told I was dumb all through school.. Didn't apply myself, never got anything done on time.. 4th year of college I got told I wasn't ready for university, did quite badly on most of my work.. Now I am in my final year of university, I've been doing quite well considering everything (health and self-esteem).. I'm now in my final year of university, graduate in a few months.. And I woke up today thinking this whole aspect of my life was just a dream.. But it is the main aspect of my life. It's scary.. I mean, most people seem to have a good idea of where their going and start working to achieve it in school or the first couple years of college.. I went from re-sitting GCSE's to health and social care (first year of college) dropped out of that, went to hair dressing, then went to an access to higher education and now uni.. I mean - how do any of those really relate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 10, 2013 Author Share Posted March 10, 2013 So tired today, and so much work to do.. curled up in bed listening to music pretending to do work.. gonna write up my conclusion tonight then i can hand that essay in tomorrow.. ant all day tomorrow do my group project cause thats doing my head in atm.. tempted not to go to my lecture tomorrow and do work in the library.. i always get more work done at uni than home.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 I feel anxious, tired, nervous and blah today... Gotta be at uni in a couple hours.. - ughh didn't do my conclusion last night, went to sleep instead needed it though.. woke up at 11, then at 1, felt quite good, then woke up at about 7:30 this morning, much needed sleep! just hope my mood doesn't make today terrible.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 up down up down.. Blooming yoyo.. this morning is up though hopefully going to uni for 9, then I can get one essay out of the way thats due tomorrow gotta figure out how to do this online submission thingy... D: wish me luck.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 You really are someone who I do not want to dream about so frequently... Grrr! better than the nightmares though I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 Dunno how I'm feeling today... Strange, not here... Lost.. Confused.. But not down.. haha. I confuse me.. I'm also hungry for the first time in a while, really want scrambled eggs and beans on toast, but I don't have any bread haha.. Mehhh! may just skip breaky again today lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 bah I am so disorganised at the moment! looking forward to going out for a friends birthday tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 16, 2013 Author Share Posted March 16, 2013 I feel so lost right now... Oh well, I'll have one less bit of work by the end of the weekend.. Just gotta limit the time I spend on here as I get distracted far too much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 16, 2013 Author Share Posted March 16, 2013 Blanket Fort Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 16, 2013 Author Share Posted March 16, 2013 Really am not impressed with my university. its a shambles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 so.. one of my best friends has been being abused by her (now ex) bf... he's been abusive before, but this has been especially bad.. kinda triggering for me too.. I wish I was there for her, but I cannot drop everything and go see her, I've got too many responsibilities up here I really hope she'll be okay.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Ugh.. I wake up feeling down anxious and scared.. To a message from one of my best friends which is along similar lines to the above post.. I hate that my friends have to go through such stuff.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Great... one of my friends posted a suicidal message and I cant get hold of her, nor can I get to hers as no trains running at this time of morning.. f...k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Feeling awful again today - so tired, and dunno if i should take a sleeper or do work.. got 4 hours of work to do n no brake so.. and i gotta be up in 2 hours so I Can get this mornings work done.. bah.. I give up with life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 ok.. I am ok.. I am ok... I am ok... . . . . . . . . . . .. . . I'm terrified! I keep getting panic attacks.. I feel sick.. Please someone take over for me? D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 24, 2013 Author Share Posted March 24, 2013 Do you wanna know what I hate? Getting better, ears not hurting for just under 3 weeks, then bam, they hurt, my head hurts, my ears hurts, I just hurt, ache feel like rubbish. At first I put it down to uni, but nope.. actually ill.. and less than 5 weeks until my first exam.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 I really cannot do this.. Sitting here crying, what the hell can I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Why are you crying babe? Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 I have too much work to do and not enough time... Well not enough time to do it well enough to get a good grade.. I have 4 exams to revise for. I have to prepare 6 essays (2 each per exam) revise 10 questions for one other exam, do a 10,000 word write up for an experiment I've not even started - which is due may 15th, most of my participants are final years and thus do not have the time to take out to take part in my experiment side of things.. all this is giving me nightmares every night so I am constantly exhausted.. I still have an essay to write (should be finished today) and two presentations to give, one of which is tomorrow. It's getting so stressful.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Uni days, certainly don't miss those. Just try and remember in the end when you secure a job it will be worth it, even if it's exhausting right now. Just try and breathe, have some tea and take five minutes just to enjoy your cuppa, and don't go out of your way to do things for friends when you have a lot going on also. Hope you get some sleep though, because there is nothing worse than having crappy quality of sleep and feeling like a zombie the next day. It will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 25, 2013 Author Share Posted March 25, 2013 5.5 days left, 8lectures that realisation just induced a mini panic... So not ready for this. Thank you petite, im going to enjoy a scrummy hot chcolate shortly.. Yeah need a good sleep, hopefully soon.. Sorry if spelling is rubbish on phone atm lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 So, I actually had a semi good sleep last night had uni dreams, But I was on top of everything... Woo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 26, 2013 Author Share Posted March 26, 2013 Really glad I'm feeling pretty ok today.. Giving a presentation, conducting part one of my experiment with a participant etc.. and I don't finish until 6.. I just hope it isn't as horribly cold today!.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 That's great you got some sleep butters. I too managed to get some rest last night thankfully. The day is always much easier to handle when we get decent sleep. Hope all goes well with the presentation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 27, 2013 Author Share Posted March 27, 2013 yeah, a good night sleep gives you all you need. I'm still feeling pretty good today.. I do have a lecture, but I've got outstanding work which right now is more important so just gonna concentrate on that... Booked into the lab for a couple hours this afternoon so I can do project stuff then.. and in all day tomorrow.. Looking forward to a break next weekend (Next Sat is my birthday D: getting old haha).. so want to get as much of everything done over the next few days.. woo.. doesn't feel real that I finish university soon.. it's surreal.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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