Is it normal to still have thoughts of my ex ?

[jakel]

I am a little over a year B.U. and save an email offering my condolences when her mom passed about 7 months NC. I have been dating a woman for the past 5 months or so. I really like the woman I am seeing presently I feel like I can be myself around her and we have a great friendship. She is really right on no games, Jealousy gets nipped in the bud, she seems to genuinely out for my happiness, and I feel the same for her.

 

My ex is gone with No possibility of reconciliation she is married and in another country. Our breakup sucked in fact In retrospect our relationship sucked! It was an angst filled, jealousy ridden, gnarly, violent, mess when she left me she did me a huge favor.

 

I find Myself feeling sad and wishing things had gone differently at times. I'll be walking down the street once in a while and see a woman who reminds me of my ex and have to take a second look. I feel fortunate to be broken up with my ex neither one of us were happy, but then why this occasional melancholy nostalgia? Am I wrong to be with someone else with these thoughts?

[rbsx]

In a word: Yes.

 

Simply because it's hard for us to believe that we were EVER stupid enough to date someone like that, and put ourselves through misery.

[dabbledave]

In a word: Yes.

 

Simply because it's hard for us to believe that we were EVER stupid enough to date someone like that, and put ourselves through misery.

 

I believe rbsx may be answering yes to the question in the topic of the thread "Is it normal ... ?", not your last question in the post.

 

And yes it's normal. Of course we wish it could have been different. But we accept that it wasn't.

 

Re your last question in your post, "Am I wrong to be with someone ...", I would think that if you truly accept that you are better off without your old relationship, and you can give your current lady the love and attention she needs, then you're doing fine.

 

If you still wish to be back with you ex, then maybe it is unfair on your current gal. But from what you wrote about your old relationship, I'd say you're in the clear. *Stamp of Approval* ;-)

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[SicFounder]

Year and a half for me and every time I hear her name, whether it's her or not, I get some serious emotions rushing through my mind. I haven't seen her since the night we broke up, but for some reason I can never get her out of my head. Luckily it gets better with each passing day.

[jakel]

Tnx DD!! done deal

[aniahunks]

definitely yes! it is normal that at times we have the feeling of remembering what had happened in the past and thinking what if it had been turned out the way we want it to be and we reminisce the those things which are contrary to what is in the reality. I can say that it is normal, just a part if daydreaming. the most important thing is that you are with your present gal and you're happy with her.

[In The Cold]

yes its normal - I have been in 3 relationships in my life where I have told the other person that I loved them, and I still occassionally think about each one (obviously, the most recent ex I think about constantly). But the other 2, only every once in a while.

 

Let time works its magic.