XpandTheMind Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Hey, I've been with my girlfriend for 8 almost 9 months now, and I'd say we're pretty happy. Our communication though is lacking, in the fact that 95% of our communication is through text. Now, I'm old fashioned, I don't like to text much with her, I like the "closeness" of hearing her voice...sounds corny, but it just seems more personal then reading emotionless print. Here's the catch, text is where we communicate best. Time when we're on the phone she literally says nothing. Maybe for like 5 minutes we'll talk, then...dead silence...awkward. It's weird cause she's even like this sometimes when we're together, but when my friends are around she's very talkative with them (engaging, joking around, social) and not me. Am I not communicating a specific way? Am I over looking something I'm not doing? What do you guys/gals think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Mac Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Hey, I've been with my girlfriend for 8 almost 9 months now, and I'd say we're pretty happy. Our communication though is lacking, in the fact that 95% of our communication is through text. Now, I'm old fashioned, I don't like to text much with her, I like the "closeness" of hearing her voice...sounds corny, but it just seems more personal then reading emotionless print. Here's the catch, text is where we communicate best. Time when we're on the phone she literally says nothing. Maybe for like 5 minutes we'll talk, then...dead silence...awkward. It's weird cause she's even like this sometimes when we're together, but when my friends are around she's very talkative with them (engaging, joking around, social) and not me. Am I not communicating a specific way? Am I over looking something I'm not doing? What do you guys/gals think? I have a problem where I cannot stand using a phone to talk to people, I keep it very short and blunt and straight to the point, I struggle to come out with a flowing conversation. This of course can makes me sound angry or unhappy and I warn girls that i'm dating etc that I am not phone friendly. As long as the conversations are good when you are spending time together and you are both happy then I don't feel theres much to worry about. If you feel that theres something wrong in the way she acts towards you in front of mates or in general then you just need to clear things up with her and have a good talk together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Maybe she's talkative with her friends because it doesn't involve a lot of emotions that easier to express through texts perhaps? Is it easy for her to talk about normal things in life out loud compared to emotions and what's more private? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissTammy Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Yep, I'm the same. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and we still text rather than talk on the phone. We see each other most days of the week though so its not really an issue. Neither of us are phone people but we talk well when we are together. I wouldnt say that was a worry for you, but maybe its strange that after almost 9 months you still feel uncomfortable around each other?! Do you see each other much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDRohnos Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Sounds like a few emotional walls have been put up. Is she able to talk one on one with you about "sensitive" or "heavy" things? Usually people that are protecting themselves will clam up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XpandTheMind Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 Thanks for the responses guys/gals. She will talk to me about emotionally deep things in the relationship, but it seems like we always are talking about it, text or otherwise. I don't know, it just bothers me that it's easier for her to talk to my good friends (even if she's only known them a day) than me. She doesn't come off as open and willing to engage with me as she does with others, my friends or another group of people. Almost as if she's trying to be a "crowd-pleaser" to avoid being left out, but it'll end up leaving me out. I'll try and give an example. The first time she met one of my best friends we we're all at my place chilling. And once she got to know my friend, who is extremely easy to get along with and hilarious, she seemed to almost focus on him. She even went as far as trying to make me the butt of the jokes like she wanted to play me as if I was the odd-man out/whipping boy. Me and my good friend always talk smack to each other, it's how we joke, but when she semi-turned on me, and left me hanging, it made me very pissed. Made me feel pretty bad. I've been considering it's because she's younger than me (I'm 25, she's 21) But, I don't know. I'd just like to hear an outside opinion because I think we all know what to do in situations like these, but that emotional attachment complicates things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 How about -in a nice lighthearted way do her side of the conversation when there's a silence that's awkward. So, tell her an anecdote about your day and if she doesn't respond or responds vaguely say "hey can I do your side of the conversation? "So, then what happened?" And, how was your communication when you first got together? Did it change and if so, when? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XpandTheMind Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 It changed a little. I know I told her I'd rather talk to her on the phone then text, but when we do it's awkward and dominated with silence. At first it's was mainly text, and now it's probably a call on average of about twice every two weeks, if that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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