Will I ever get my money?

[Yang]

I did it again. I put myself in a situation where I have to spend $180+ on something that I didn't even want.

 

You see, my friend who is a stamper asked me to help her out last month because she needed to meet a quota so she can get a free stamping kit. She told me that she will reimburse me after and all I had to do was sign up and pay the $180+ fee. I did and she got her free stamping kit. I got nothing. The kit came to my house so I called her to come and pick it up. She did and left. Then she sent me a text saying that she forget to give me money. I told her that it was ok, meaning that she can pay me the next time she sees me. So far she hasn't mentioned anything about it as I've met up with her twice since.

 

Did she take the "ok" as she didn't have to pay me back?

[cristal]

You are right, when she stated that she forgot to pay you, you should have made it clear to her that she could pay you the next time that she sees you. I do believe that she understood that, but she is going to play dumb and pretend that that you are okay with her not paying you back at all. You have to meet up with her, or call her on the phone, fast forward the conversation all the way back to the initial agreement that you both made, otherwise, she will pretend that the matter simply does not exist.

 

The fact that she asked you to put up the money for her stamping kit, says a lot about her ability to manage her own money.

[Yang]

It's not like she doesn't have any money. She's very thrifty. And we are good friends, but I just don't understand that if all she needed was to just meet the quota then why didn't she just give me the money in advance so I don't have to go seeking from her. Well, she's a stamping demonstrator and she needs to meet a certain new member quota each month to get free stuff. The $180+ I forked up was just to sign on to become a member, which I don't plan on being active as I'm not a stamping person. And I let her know, but she insisted that I do this to help her and she will pay me back.

 

Some friend, huh?

 

I'm at a point in my life right now where I'm evaluating all of my friends.

[LAYAAN]

sorry that you are going through this. Be wise now onward. Don't fork out money for your friends. People will take advantage of you until you stand up and learn to say no.

[cristal]

Well is she has the money and she is still dodging you, then she is a con artist, who is someone you should not have any financial dealings with. As a matter of fact, you should never mix friendship and money to begin with, because the results have often turned out to be bad and the friendship ended up in ruins anyway.

 

If I cannot afford to loose a certain amount of money, I would never lend it - unless there are really extenuating circumstances. I will simply say to potential borrowers, that I have made it a policy not to lend or borrow money and left it at that. More often or not, the relationship stays intact, or sometimes there is the "cold-shoulder" approach from potential borrowers. But anything is better than broken promises and a broken friendship which often results from unpaid loans. Remind her of her promise to pay you back once again and steel your self for feign ignorance on her part. And next time someone ask you to dole out money, please do yourself a favor and apply my policy of not lending. You will be a lot better off.

 

Good luck to you!

[browneyedgirl36]

I have had friends in the past who have tried to get me into these types of things -- friends who sell/demonstrate products -- and I've always said "no." While I am happy, on occasion, to buy a product or two (I love Pampered Chef products, for example, and there are a few Mary Kay cosmetics that I like to use) I would never sign up to be a member of a "club" or to be a salesperson myself (I've been pressured about this by a few friends). Honestly, I think that friends shouldn't expect each other to buy/sign up for stuff they really don't want or need.

 

I think your friend isn't really aware that you expect the money back; I think she thought that since you said it was OK, she thought you meant "Don't worry about paying me back." If you really need the money -- or just want it back -- you need to tell her. Just a casual, "Hey, I know you forgot to pay me that day, but I could really use my $180 back. When do you think you can get it to me?" This way, she will know that you did NOT mean "don't worry about giving it back."

[Yang]

You know, the one thing I'm questioning here is principle. I mean if she thought my ok was for her to not pay me back, at least give me that free stamping kit! She got the free kit and my money!

 

I don't want to talk bad about this friend, but I'm starting to re-evaluate our friendship. She is the type that brings along her boy "friend" although she practically lives with him and refuses to acknowledge him more than just a friend on our girls night out. He always pays for her. All the while, she goes around his back and plans secret dates with her boy "friend"'s best friend. I don't want to be friends with anyone who doesn't seem to exercise any morals.