Is it a non starter?

[AndrewJ]

Hi all,

 

Little bit of advice needed, I think I already know the answer but I'm sure you wonderful people can maybe shed further light.

 

Just got back from date, I enjoyed myself, I thought there was some chemistry, we laughed joked had a nice chat, she seemed to smile a lot. However when I asked if she wanted to go eat she said she had to go, this is after we had been to art gallery and had a couple of drinks. I was fine with this so walked her to her car. Then went to organise a second date, and got the 'just send me a txt', so I jokingly pressed her a bit and she said she had to 'think some things through' (alarm bells) so we hugged and parted ways. My first thoughts are its a right off and move on, I have another date lined up next week anyway so not too fussed. But I have a slight gut instinct that there could be something there. I don't think she has dated in a long time so could be that?

 

I usually at least get a second date even if there is no real chemistry so not sure what to think?

 

Thoughts? Plus how do you think I should play it, I sent her a txt after just saying I had a nice time. But usually I ring later (1or2 days) to organise the second date. If I dont get a txt off her I probably wont ring, or should be I just ring!

 

Cheers!

[banal]

If you want to go out with her again, just text her. That's the way things seem to work nowadays.

[catfeeder]

If she doesn't respond to a text that asks nothing of her, then it makes no sense to follow up with a call to ask something of her. If she's got other problems and works them out, she knows how to reach you.

 

Enjoy your other date!

[AndrewJ]

Yeah thanks, just confirming what I was already thinking.

 

Yeah I will! Cheers!

[Ariel85]

She's pretty disinterested, and I think she made that (subtlely) clear.

 

If you want to pursue it, fine, but expect more of the same.

 

But, it seems that you have a pattern of pushing for second dates, even when you admit yourself there is no connection. Why is that? Ego?

[AndrewJ]

Its not about pushing for it for the sake of it, a few times I haven't clicked with someone until the second date. Anyway I said there was a connection from my end anyway, so it was a no brainer. I'd have been equally happy if she had said, sorry I don't feel a connection.

[Ariel85]

Anyway I said there was a connection from my end anyway, so it was a no brainer. I'd have been equally happy if she had said, sorry I don't feel a connection.

 

Very few people will say this to someone's face, as it's a direct rejection.

 

In girl speak, she did tell you she wasn't interested, however. When a girl is really interested, she doesn't rush to end a date and she jumps at setting up a second date when asked, and doesn't respond with "yeah, text me". You pressed her further, and she gave another dismissive response. Pretty much three signs she wasn't interested in a second date.

 

I think we've all been in situations where we felt a connection and the other person didn't. You have to listen to what she told you, and not just your own feelings here. It takes two...

[AndrewJ]

Yeah message understood! I totally get what your saying and shall move on to the next! Clinging to some morsel of hope there haha.

 

Thanks for the reality check!

[Ariel85]

Yw, hon. It's really hard to see the forrest through the trees, and when we think we've connected with someone, we often don't want to see the little signs. Human nature, as no one likes to think someone wouldn't like us.

 

Focus on the date for next week!

[AndrewJ]

Haha, just got a pleasant email from her saying there was no spark Moral of the story is don't delude yourself! TBH I thought I was punching above my weight anyway lol.

 

Wish she had emailed earlier

 

Thanks for all comments!