1m50L0nl3y Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Hi, I need your opinions on this one, yesterday I told my ex Im going to Virginia, USA. She was not happy with my trip. Today her facebook status is "sic semper tyrannis" which is Virginia state's motto. I find this suspicious... We are both european, we live in europe and she has never been to USA. What you guys think? Is this a way to call my attention? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanDee Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 What does the trip have to do with her anyway?! She sounds really immature. Just ignore, and have fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 She obviously looked up what Virginia was about so she would know something about it. Nothing to be suspicious about. If she was NOT curious as to where you are going I would think that was odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
italiannmf24 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Nope, it's not a way to call your attention, it's just a status. The more you stress over it the more you'll regret it. Don't overanalyze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DylanNotorious Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Is she your ex or are you guys getting back together? Sounds like your both into each other lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Why did you tell her when she is your ex? And why should she care if you are her ex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 More questions: Why are you looking at her Facebook status? Shouldn't you be busy getting ready for your trip? Don't give this a second thought. Maybe it means something to her, maybe it doesn't. The beauty of it is that it only means something to YOU, if you decide it does. Put it out of your mind, and have a fun trip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Is she your ex or are you guys getting back together? Why did you tell her when she is your ex? And why should she care if you are her ex? We talked yesterday of giving it a try again because it seems she wants me back, but she disliked the trip part. Now I see only a few minutes ago there was an earthquake in Virginia... But she had the status before the earthquake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 So you and your ex are discussing giving it another go, she's not thrilled with an international trip and her facebook status reflects that (albeit in something of a passive-aggressive way). What part of this surprises you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 So you and your ex are discussing giving it another go, she's not thrilled with an international trip and her facebook status reflects that (albeit in something of a passive-aggressive way). What part of this surprises you? That's what I was suspecting, some sort of passive aggressive behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Moderator Note - please stay on topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldenoughtoknow Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Sic semper tyrannis is a Latin phrase meaning "thus always to tyrants." She doesn't want you to go. You're going anyway. She made a serendipitous comment about it. Has she ever called you a tyrant in the past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ngu11 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 it's a sign...anyone who disagrees has either had too much to drink or they are blinkered! People in love find the oddest way to communicate...it's kind of weirdly romantic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Myself Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 It sounds like a weak attempt at attention on her part. If she feels a certain way she should speak up. She wants you to wonder about it and come to her. She is trying not to appear vulnerable by getting you to come to her with questions. Because it's so vague she can deny it was about you, and at the same time still get an ego boost knowing that you care. Either way, I think it is an attempt to get attention from you somehow. And I agree with ngu, people in love do find odd ways to communicate. but so do people who are scared, who are afraid to lose something or look like they made a mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellie Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 On the basis of that, you really have 3 options. 1. You can call off the trip, stay at home and wait for a reconcilliation that may never happen; or 2. You can go, but be knocked off kilter by this and spend the whole time obsessing over whether she's upset, checking for cryptic status updates, and wondering and whether reconcilliation will be denied when you get back on the basis that you went; or 3. You can go, and have a nice time. I know what I'd be aiming for. I haven't read your backstory and am completely surmising, but around here dumpees seem to outnumber dumpers by maybe 9/1. So presuming she was the one who broke up with you - and hey, whichever way around it was, because at the end of the day, you are broken up - it would be a bit selfish of her to try to sabotage it for you. Come to think about it, even if you weren't broken up, I don't know what the big deal is. Why would she mind you going on holiday? Presumably it's a short term thing? Is she suspicious you're going to go off with another woman? She sounds pretty insecure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 24, 2011 Author Share Posted August 24, 2011 Has she ever called you a tyrant in the past? She always said that I'm jealous, but it wanst jealousy, the fact is that I like the truth more than everything else, and she was not being honest and I was sort of letting her know that is her body and she does whatever she wants with it but I want to know if she had someone else just to make a decision based on that information. And I agree with ngu, people in love do find odd ways to communicate. but so do people who are scared, who are afraid to lose something or look like they made a mistake. I agree, I think she might be in love but she is also a coward. Is she suspicious you're going to go off with another woman? She was trying to be with me and other guy(s) at the same time, I took the bull by the horns and dumped her, the reason because I'm 80% sure there was someone else, the evidence I had was very weak and she never admitted it, now she wants me back but she still won't admit it that there was other(s) and is saying that I'm "too jealous". Yes, there's a woman involved in my trip (not in a romantic way) my ex suspects it but she doesn't know it. I just want to say that I want my ex back, and I've been thinking not going in USA. But I don't want to ruin this one in a lifetime opportunity of going there and then my ex ruin my life. She says she wants me, she wants to do things in the past she refused to do (meeting my friends, going to parties with me, travelling with me, etc)... In fact talking to her after all this time was like talking with a different person, from being "aloof" she got "on fire".. but she is not saying what exactly is that she wants, she invited me to go to Italy with her instead of USA, I declined, and she is saying that she is sure there is a woman behind all of this. She also said she wants to have sex with me, this is what she said: "You like the way this devil loves you". I don't know if she "loves" me or she is angry because I'm on my way to a different country and she is scared that I might meet someone... or she just wants to have me there to have sex.... What I do know is that the american girl is not in love with me, that I will go there and I will return... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Myself Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 but she is not saying what exactly is that she wants You're right, she is still playing games. Her behavior hasn't changed and if you get back with her at this point the same patterns will be repeated. You have no reason not to go on the trip, and actually the best thing you can do in my opinion is go on the trip, have a good time, get some life experience. and when you get back I think you will have a whole new perspective on the situation. If the girl really wants to be with you, then you taking a vacation won't stop that. It sounds like she has some growing up to do, and if anything your trip should be a wake up call for her. She sounds a lot like my ex. Just give it some time, see if she comes around. I wish the best for you. And I'm glad you had the strength to break it off when she was messing around, it's a great example for all the good guys on here who get their hearts played with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnz Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 Do not ruin your trip or cancel it because of your ex...you will REGRET it in the future... If you cancel you are giving into her and giving her all the power to say she can get you to drop everything for her...why you would even contemplate this knowing there may have been other guys ?... It's YOUR life...go and enjoy it for once...if she cared even remotely she would say she is happy for you to have this once in a life time opportunity...don't blow it over some female lol... She's the one being *jealous* not you...and that is the ONLY reason she wants you to not go... !!! Keep your plans to the USA and have fun and no stress...traveling is what freshens you up and makes you see clearly about everything in life including exes... There are ten times better girls/guys out there...trust me on this one...as I was going to try things again with my ex as my ex wanted to also and guess what ? A few days after I agreed with my ex to try again I found myself a guy ten times BETTER then my ex !!! seriously...and ditched the plans with my ex...and I am forever thankful I woke up !!! I've been with my new guy for over a month now...not one bit of feeling left for my ex...gone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ngu11 Posted August 24, 2011 Share Posted August 24, 2011 why don't you ask her to come with...?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandellin Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 hummmmmmmmmm since she is partially right and you are going with another girl.........I can see some reason.....but ultimately your call. That is the sad thing about enotalone we can get advice but no one can make the right choices but us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 why don't you ask her to come with...?? She doesn't have holidays any time soon, so it's pointless for me to ask. why you would even contemplate this knowing there may have been other guys ?... Because my evidence is weak, and she won't admit it! And the only thing I want is for her to say YES I WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND 3 OTHER GUYS AND IN THE PAST WHILE WE WERE DATING I LOST INTEREST IN YOU BECAUSE I MET SOMEONE ELSE! I want her to freaking admit it for once and for all, until she is unable to come clean I know there is no real change, she is still a liar. I have had other women come clean and tell me "yeah I'm dating someone but we can date if you want", then it's up to me if I agree or not, I never judge them even if it's not my thing, but this girl is not willing to tell me the truth, if she would only be honest about it, I think maybe I could take her back but I CAN'T. I would let go if she would tell me that in the past she had some other dude and now she realized he was a jerk and wants me back, because I can guarantee all of you here, I dumped her but she didn't care at all. She's the one being *jealous* not you...and that is the ONLY reason she wants you to not go... !!! When I tell her to confess the above stated is when she claims I'm jealous, I don't know if I should take it as a YES I SLEEP AROUND AND YOU ANNOY ME or what!?!?! It sounds like she has some growing up to do, and if anything your trip should be a wake up call for her. That's what I want to her to grow up and tell me the whole truth about those men. hummmmmmmmmm since she is partially right and you are going with another girl..... The other girl has a boyfriend, and is not related to me in any sort of "romantic" or "lustful" way.. Plus my ex has no possible way in this world to know about her, unless I open my mouth. Anyway I backed off from my ex again, next time I go around her I hope she will be confessing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Myself Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 That's what I want to her to grow up and tell me the whole truth about those men. You can't make her confess anything, sure that's what you want. I want that too from my ex. But you have to let them figure it out on their own, if you make them do it it won't be sincere anyway. Just accept the fact that she might actually never come clean about it. Some people have way too much pride and cannot let themselves look vulnerable. If you suspect that much from her, that she was dating other guys and lost interest, then it probably is true, and why would you want to get back with someone like that. It will just happen again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 You can't make her confess anything, sure that's what you want. I want that too from my ex. But you have to let them figure it out on their own, if you make them do it it won't be sincere anyway. Just accept the fact that she might actually never come clean about it. Some people have way too much pride and cannot let themselves look vulnerable. If you suspect that much from her, that she was dating other guys and lost interest, then it probably is true, and why would you want to get back with someone like that. It will just happen again. Thanks, about being vulnerable I think you got it right! Seriously I think you are very good at reading this type of behavior, experience can't be improvised! And you are also right no matter what I do she won't confess, specially as she knows it will backfire if she admits it I will have the perfect excuse for not wanting her back.. I guess she's trying to be smart. I'm really disappointed that she ruined things and lead me to dump her.. There was great potential. Oh well.. Nothing she says or does will change the fact that she is always on the search of men and I'm not good enough. Thanks again, I needed to be reminded that I can't make her confess and the more I push the less likely it will be, even if she is trying to win me back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sognatrice Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 I just want to say that I want my ex back, and I've been thinking not going in USA. Are you Italian? I notice how you say "in USA"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted August 26, 2011 Author Share Posted August 26, 2011 Are you Italian? I notice how you say "in USA"... Good observation, I am, but living in Sweden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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