behind_these_eyes Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 In the event of my death Before I've said goodbye; If the world is alive But my life has passed by; If it's wondered at all What I've left in this place- For the ones whom I love, For the ones whom I hate, I write you a last but sincerest farewell, And hope all the best that I can All is well. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to please you I'm sorry at times When it seemed I don't need you. I'm sorry if I have left nothing behind But depressing notes scrawled With my pen on these lines. As I stop to reflect through my last living door I'm sorry I have So much I'm sorry for. But off with my past, I must bring you what's new; The things that I had That now belong to you: Take every judgment You passed upon me, And now judge yourself with your absent mercy. Take all of the nights That I spent all alone Wondering why I felt lost in my home. Take my perpetual Sense of confusion; My inability to see What is truth or illusion. And if I am leaving all of this behind Then I'm sorry for you, And I hope you will find There's still some benevolance Left 'on these shores', That right now for some reason I've chosen to ignore. I don't know, it sucks. I've never really been one for rhyming poems, and it's really long, so thank you if you even read this far. Any feedback is appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unforgiven Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 i just want to say i feel like this is a really good one . it was wrigthen well. in short great job i loved it . unforgiven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sisterlynch Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 I think it was a terrific poem!! Good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_hate_the_world47 Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 wonderful poem =D> ~meagan~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stinkweed Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 Great job =D> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpressedone89 Posted August 26, 2004 Share Posted August 26, 2004 the poem was awesome, the rhyming was good and yo chose just the right words to use. dont worry if your poems are long their self expression it may take more space sometimes, i have a few really long ones on here, the poem was really deep and seemed to have alot emotion and it carries a deffinate message, you are an excellent writer. especially since your so young, keep writing,you have a gift. -stitches aka The Antihero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
under_the_pressure Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 great poem. keep it up. under* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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