lostwithouther Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 She called me. She came over. We made looooooooooove. And I feel happy. Why am I not panicking or hurting? I feel Great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mockingbird Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Same thing happened to me 3 weeks ago, today we broke up again... go figure.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostwithouther Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 What does this mean? Why am I so calm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGUY Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 How long were you too split?,... How long together? and how did you act after BU??..... NC? LC?... Push? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mockingbird Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 I felt great the day afterwards, today I feel terrible... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostwithouther Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 We were together close to 2 years. 1 and a half months broken up. I went into Major therapy/spiritual growth. When I spoke with her, I was sincere and a gentleman. I took to Silence. She called me 3 days in a row. Last night she came over. I am in Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Have you resolved the issues that caused the breakup? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tresqua Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Last night she came over. I am in Love. Two words. "Second Honeymoon". Unless you had a real heart to heart and talked about all the bad along with all the good and came up with real solutions to the problems that led to the breakup, you've accomplished nothing. Sorry to be the one to have to break it to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostwithouther Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 I would like to work on everything. It is up to her. I Love Her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tresqua Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 In other words you haven't discussed any of the issues and you haven't worked anything out and whether or not you stay together is completely up to her. I'd prepare for the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carus Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 And I feel happy. Why am I not panicking or hurting? Because you've only just had a hit of the drug....Similar to a great fun night out on the alcohol.....Wait until it wears off....* Lot of people will read that and think "Gee Carus, dont be so negative", but I, like so many others, have been there and experienced it.... Truthfully I hope it leads to her coming back, but I agree with Tresqua*, even if she does there is a lot of work to be done to stop it failing a second or third or even fourth time.... Best Of Luck Carus* 8-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaKings55 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Stop, don't act on emotion or feelings. This must move forward with a level, clear head. Like carus said, it's like a drug, and you got a good hit off of it. Time to sober up, look at the facts, and be calm and collected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostwithouther Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 She got a hit of me. I am actually in a fine state. She knows where I stand, if she chooses to stay a child and not grow, ok, she can come over for sex, but I am moving forward. Sooner or later, the feelings will have to be spoken out loud and I will continue to be a mature adult and she will have to meet my expectations. I thought it was the Perfect night, because the last 2 meetings she was mean and hurtful. 2 nights ago she was back to being my lover for the moments. It clicked. I feel I am in a good place now, maturing where I don't expect anything, I hope she would be willing to work, I have gotten so much help in the past 1.5 months that I feel calm, I will let her continue chasing me. Silence continues. In reality, if she is looking to spend time with me because she trusts me strictly for sex, then I will also enjoy the moments and not ask questions or rock the boat. Again, the feelings and emotions will have to come out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemsip Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 So if she never contacted you again you'd be cool with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostwithouther Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 Lemsip. I love her more than anything. I am still in ecstasy from 2 nights ago. It was true passion. You know from my previous posts where I stand. I want her. I want her. I want her. I cannot predict the future, so I do not know what will happen, I enjoyed the moment. I am very calm right now because of the mental help I am receiving. I am calm. I have my views and thoughts of why I am calm and it is helping me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemsip Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Lemsip. I love her more than anything. I am still in ecstasy from 2 nights ago. It was true passion. You know from my previous posts where I stand. I want her. I want her. I want her. I cannot predict the future, so I do not know what will happen, I enjoyed the moment. I am very calm right now because of the mental help I am receiving. I am calm. I have my views and thoughts of why I am calm and it is helping me. OK. Just be careful is all I'm saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brownstone322 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Unless you had a real heart to heart and talked about all the bad along with all the good and came up with real solutions to the problems that led to the breakup, you've accomplished nothing. Sorry to be the one to have to break it to you. Er, rushing the "heart to heart" could be worse that avoiding it. You don't bring that kinda thing up on the first meeting. (You shouldn't have sex right away either, but it's too late for that, apparently.) To Lostwithouther: Reconciliations happen in baby steps. If you immediately bring up the need for "the big relationship discussion," you'll look weak and pathetic (again). And if she brings it up, then you say, "Not yet," because it shouldn't be that big of a deal anymore. And if it is, it's probably too soon. (And it hasn't been very long.) By the way, your screen name speaks poorly of your state of mind. You might want to think about getting "un-lost" before you do anything else. You know from my previous posts where I stand. I want her. I want her. I want her. I cannot predict the future, so I do not know what will happen, I enjoyed the moment. I am very calm right now because of the mental help I am receiving. I am calm. I have my views and thoughts of why I am calm and it is helping me. "I want her. I want her. I want her" and "I am calm" don't really belong in the same paragraph. It's difficult, I know, but you really need to step back and try to look at yourself (let alone her) objectively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Er, rushing the "heart to heart" could be worse that avoiding it. You don't bring that kinda thing up on the first meeting. (You shouldn't have sex right away either, but it's too late for that, apparently.) To Lostwithouther: Reconciliations happen in baby steps. If you immediately bring up the need for "the big relationship discussion," you'll look weak and pathetic (again). And if she brings it up, then you say, "Not yet," because it shouldn't be that big of a deal anymore. And if it is, it's probably too soon. (And it hasn't been very long.) By the way, your screen name speaks poorly of your state of mind. You might want to think about getting "un-lost" before you do anything else. Agree with this. You don't want to overwhelm her at the start. Keep it casual at the start. See how she responds to a couple of dates before you lay it all out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 She got a hit of me. I am actually in a fine state. She knows where I stand, if she chooses to stay a child and not grow, ok, she can come over for sex, but I am moving forward. Sooner or later, the feelings will have to be spoken out loud and I will continue to be a mature adult and she will have to meet my expectations. How are you being the "mature adult" and "moving forward," by having her come over for sex? You also have choices, and this will likely prevent you from moving forward. Living in the moment is a temporary fix, and sooner or later the real world returns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tresqua Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Er, rushing the "heart to heart" could be worse that avoiding it. You don't bring that kinda thing up on the first meeting. (You shouldn't have sex right away either, but it's too late for that, apparently.) Oh I agree with you on not rushing the serious talk about what has to happen to fix the relationship, but this casual hookup sex is accomplishing nothing. If that's going to continue they need to have some sort of a plan. Well, they need to have a plan if there's going to be some sort of potential save here. Otherwise it's just a fantasy that's going to burst and this poor guy doesn't realize how much it's going to hurt even though part of him expects it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ngu11 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 In other words you haven't discussed any of the issues and you haven't worked anything out and whether or not you stay together is completely up to her. I'd prepare for the worst. TRESQUA! Haha I Voluntarily end our NC (maybe you didn't realise it started but...) OP: Quickly leave that daze because you're about to get a shock. You need to repair my friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tresqua Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 TRESQUA! Haha I Voluntarily end our NC (maybe you didn't realise it started but...) I don't understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ngu11 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 I don't understand. my mindset post in getting back together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tresqua Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 my mindset post in getting back together I'm sorry I still don't understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brownstone322 Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 I'm sorry I still don't understand. No kidding ... none of that made sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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