I'd ask a man out if I wanted to, but...

[BritterSweet]

After some thinking over a long period of time, I get the feeling that if I were to be in a relationship, chances are I would do the initial asking out. When men approached me, most of the time I would back away. Also, I said this before, but bashfulness is something I find cute in a guy. And it's practically a given that shy guys are not likely to make the first move.

 

The problem is that I'm not easily interested enough, or lose interest too quickly. Whenever I'm attracted to someone, the feeling is usually rather mild. Only once or twice have I ever seen a man and felt strongly attracted. And even then, I always felt that never seeing him again was no big deal.

 

Even in the case of the guy from the game store in my other thread! I visited the store the next day, but he wasn't there so I thought I'd try again next week on the same day I first met him like someone suggested. That day came, and I forgot to go. Eventually I just shrugged and thought, "He's most likely forgotten all about me by now. Oh well."

 

And there's also a guy who I was kind of interested in for a while, but shortly after we became friends on Facebook, I was no longer into him. He invited me for coffee, and my mom talked me into accepting because "you never know. And even you don't like him in that way, you'll have a new friend." (Of course, this could bring up the issue of the "Friend Zone" men seem to hate so much.)

 

Could it be possibly be because I'm too laid-back? Fickle? Or despite being interested in a boyfriend, just not ready?

[RedDress]

I think what you are talking about is 100% normal. It's actually completely abnormal (in my opinion) to experience love at first sight. I really think this is what you are talking about. Why would you have extremely strong interest in someone that you've not had much interaction with??

 

Think about your closest girlfriends. Were you bothered when you first met them? Were you dying to be their friend? Probably not. Ok... maybe with that one really, really popular person... but that probably wasn't a great friendship anyways.

 

I think what's more normal (for me) is to actually get to know someone and then develop feelings. You hang out once... you have fun... you hang out again... You have more fun... you start talking to them more... you can't wait to see them again because it's always fun when you hang out.... The only difference with a romantic relationship is that there is some sexual tension and a romantic twist. But that also takes some time to develop.

 

I think your mom is right. Lol! I think you are hoping for Cupid to come down and poke you and that everything will magically happen (it sounds that way). But... in my opinion, that's not really how it works most of the time. It starts by hanging out and it develops from there.

 

Personally, I think you should be less concerned about putting guys in the "friend zone" and simply be concerned about making your feelings and intentions clear. If things are moving too fast - just say so. If/when you are not feeling it and don't really want to hang out anymore - just say so. But I don't think you should let that prevent you from going out with some of these guys and having a good time. Because that's how these things develop.

 

Just my 2 cents.