1m50L0nl3y Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Ok so here we go.. I met this nice lady back in February. We were devoted to each other. Then she began acting cold, and then went into NC mode with me. Then she appears and tells me she was hit by a car and that was the reason for NC. I was concerned as I care for her. Weeks later she tells me she needs to confess me something, turns out the car accident crap wasnt true that she made that up because she needed to "cool down" her feelings for me, according to her the feeling was so strong that she was suffering for me and getting obsessed, she also said that she would understand if I dont ever want to see her. Tho I never did anything to hurt her, I understood and backed off from her. Again she looks for me, this time around she tells me that the whole problem is because I talk to other women and that she feels she is just änother one for me, and if I ever failed her she would die. I tell her thats not the case, I told her some nice things to ease her mind, she seemed very happy with the words I said but again we went into NC, this time I didnt care because I was already tired of this. Well she appears and tells me about a surgery she was getting according to her after that surgery she will be better looking for me and then we could be together, I told her theres no need for a surgery but she insisted that after it she will be happy... Again NC this time because she was in the hospital, then she contacts me again to let me know she is alive but is in pain because of the supposed surgery. Since Im concerned about her health and well being I have tried to find her, but no success she wont reply to my emails, texts, calls... I dont know what to think. Im guessing this is another lie. Im starting to believe that she makes up all sort of tragedies to make me worry... I really dont see whats the point is she doesnt really want to be with me. I think she is a lunatic. What do you guys think? Is this just an insecure woman? Or is she trying to play with me? Those lies about car accidents and surgeries are too much for my brain to process, specially when we arent even dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavender25 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I think she's lying. And if she isn't, then she is EXTREMELY insecure. RUN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Irulan Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Is this an online relationship or one that is in person? When you say the woman tells you she knows you're talking to other women, it almost sounds like she's pegged you as a possible Internet Lothario. I hate to say it, but women are as jealous as guys are when it's a man they're interested in, and a guy with a girl pack can trigger all of those jealous green eyed feelings. I personally would never date a man who had a bunch of old ex's hanging around, or old friends from high school that he was too close to and saw without me. I think she might agree with me. She's not the lady for you! You're lifestyles are in conflict. Close up shop here as nicely as you can and move on. I think that's what she's decided to do. And just to clarify what I am: I don't tell this type of silly make you worry lie. It's too childish. I agree with the person above. Run. Jealousy does not explain her behavior completely. Hugs and hope in finding true love Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waterlilly Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 scary. red flags. delete all info, block her. sorry, but this is nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I think she is a lunatic. What do you guys think? I think the same thing. She is not worth giving her a second thought....chi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I would tell her that you didn't fall off of the turnip truck, yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Yes I think she is out of her mind. Angel: the whole deal with me talking to other women comes from Facebook. She says I add every day different women which is true. But this girl is not even my girlfriend... We only went out twice then afterwards she ALWAYS HAS AN EXCUSE "my hair is ugly today" "i look very bad today" "i havent done my hair" "i will take too long doing my makeup" "my friend jenny is here and i look like crap" "after the SURGERY I will let you see me" " In DECEMBER when Im pretty and I have the best body in town you will like me and we will have the best days of our lives"... I dont understand what is the whole problem. I have never heard this before this woman is 32 years old... I dont make her jealous on purpose , i really like her but theres always a problem either she gets hit by a car, she is too in love, she needs a surgery, I dont get it.. Im NOT a pretty boy and I feel like she wants to be better than me to make me feel like im sooo lucky , or she is too much for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavender25 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 whoa. Nutso. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 So lavender, the surgery is bull * * * * right? Yeah i should've known this * * * * * was crazy since she claimed she knew me from a previous life and made me watch a 4 hrs documentary of aliens and ufos.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Whoa....UFOs and aliens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Whoa...UFOS and aliens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Why, exactly, do you stay involved with this person again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavender25 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I would've stopped after the "got hit by a car" lie. She might have genuinely been freaked out by her strong feelings for you so soon, but she could have been an adult about it and just told you she needed to slow things down rather than LIE about something so serious. She is very insecure about her looks. At first I thought maybe you've never met her in person, but now that I know you have then it makes it even stranger. She might actually be having the surgery, who knows, but either way if you continue with this woman you are constantly going to have to reassure her about the way she looks. That can be exhausting. This is all kinds of wrong. I don't know if you're looking for anything serious, but maybe if you are you should try what I've been doing. I know I have very high expectations, but whenever I start seeing someone and I start questioning certain things I think "is this really the great love story that I've been looking for?" For example, I met a guy once in a China King and we started dating but I was always driving out to see him, he wasn't good about staying in contact, and he was extremely negative. I honestly had more fun hanging out with his friends than I did him. When it got to the point when I had to decide what was going to happen between us it was "would the love of my life really treat me this way?" Nope. And that was that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Irulan Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 OMG I had to laugh! While I can see that she might have a different belief system than most of us, you two just don't belong together. Don't worry about her. If she shows up on your doorstep, then worry. Politely ask her to leave once. After that call the cops. Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Catfeeder: 1 im single 2 i dont like it 3 she is my typel(looks) 4 she is outgoing 5 after the car accident i backed off 6 she always initiates contact with me 7 i have tried to date others 8 i havent find anyone bettter 9 i think she likes me and thats why she lies to get my attention 10 i think if she was able to see i like\accept her the lies would stop and we could be happy (Tho maybe Im expecting too much from a liar) Lavender: i understand what you mean, and i think i dont wan to live my life wondering if things are true, if she lies when she likes me and according to her im her "dream man" i dont imagine hows gonna be when im her nightmare man.... She ruined something with great potential. And until i dont see the scar of the surgery she is a liar for mme and isnt worth nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 You've listed 10 reasons that are interesting but hardly relevant to staying entangled with a sociopath. You can pretzel 'around' that all you want. Then I hope you'll rethink it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Ummm...I think her potentially lying about the surgery and other things, while a serious red flag, isn't the big issue here. She's getting a SURGERY so she'll look BETTER for you and then you can be together? Even if this IS true...it screams insecurity, and she's clearly pretty obsessed with you, which is scary. The fact that she claims she had to lie about getting hit by car because her feelings for you were too strong and she feared she was becoming obsessed with you...scary. Her reaction to you adding women on Facebook when you're not even dating...scary. Her excuses for not going on dates...scary. (Seriously..."My hair looks terrible?" That's just odd.) You need to steer clear of this one. By her own admission, she is insecure AND obsessive, as well as a liar. All this screams "Drama!" and a whole load of unhealthiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 You've listed 10 reasons that are interesting but hardly relevant to staying entangled with a sociopath. You can pretzel 'around' that all you want. Then I hope you'll rethink it. Agreed. This girl is all kinds of trouble, and the reasons you've given for wanting to give her a chance are just...not all that good. Yeah, she may be pretty, and your "type," but.. I can come up with twice as many reasons you should steer clear of her, including that 1)She lied about something REALLY serious; 2) She admits she's obsessed with you. 3) She's jealous of girls you add on Facebook, and you're not even dating her. 4) She claims to be getting a surgery (another potential lie) simply so she can look better and date you. Whether this surgery is even real or not is unknown, but even if it is..5).she sounds like she's mired in self-loathing. 6) Won't go out on a date because her hair looks bad or because she looks "ugly" that day? 7) Keeps stalling on dating you for sketchy reasons; 8) Is WAY too into someone she doesn't know that well; 9) Said that it would "kill" her (or something along that line) if you were to "fail" her (yikes!) 10) Is obsessed with her appearance to the point that it prevents her (supposedly) from leaving the house and going on a date with you. Those are just the first ten reasons... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1m50L0nl3y Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 By SOCIOPATH you mean the type of woman who would shoot me at least 8 times, go to my funeral, cry more than my own mother, and later on trial claim it was my fault??????? She tells me that shes been home every day and has NC with anyone, shes even working from home, and that after she knows that I exist she is unable to find boyfriend, supposedly she cant even look at other men.. but doesnt allow me to get to know her better because "her feelings are too much, and if I ever hurt her she would die because she wouldnt be able to handle it and live like that, thats exactly the reason of the surgery so I will like her a LOT because she must be the most beautiful woman I ever seen". I was thinking that maybe Im paying the deeds of her ex boyfriend, who seem to be a shallow superficial moron.But she never mentions him, not even once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunney Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Seems like the only ounce of self-esteem she has is based solely on her appearance. It's ridiculous that she honestly believes that everything will be just fine as soon as "she looks better", appearently she forgot that she's an utterly insecure wreck, and that's something that she can't just fix with surgery.. Sorry but I don't think she's emotionally healthy at all. Your reasons for giving her more chances are absolutely pathetic. There are lots of women who are attractive and your type, and guess what they are not liars or blow you off because their "hair looks terrible". Don't settle for crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 She's a nutter at best, and obviously lies. Why would you waste one minute trying to date this person or even be her friend? Just walk away. Stop responding to her calls and texts. Find someone normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 She's a nutter at best, and obviously lies. Why would you waste one minute trying to date this person or even be her friend? ...or even spend time dissecting her? You must be really bored. This is navel gazing gone wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I doubt she's a sociopath; sociopaths don't generally express even a fraction of the emotions this girl has. That said, the fact that she's probably NOT a sociopath is not a good enough reason to date her. The part I've bolded above should be all the reason you need to avoid this girl like the plague. Anyone who says they'd "die" if someone hurt them and admits to being desperate enough to resort to plastic surgery to *keep* them is NOT a healthy person AT ALL. I'm getting the feeling from your posts that part of the reason you ARE interested in her is because she is such a trainwreck -- and a pretty one, at that -- and you think you can save her. Not possible. Please think seriously about how much drama you want in your life, because this girl spells 100% bonafide nuclear-reactor grade meltdown drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I doubt she's a sociopath; sociopaths don't generally express even a fraction of the emotions this girl has. That said, the fact that she's probably NOT a sociopath is not a good enough reason to date her. Sociopath is an umbrella term. From link removed Glibness and Superficial Charm Manipulative and Conning Grandiose Sense of Self Pathological Lying Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt Shallow Emotions Incapacity for Love Need for Stimulation Callousness/Lack of Empathy Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Irresponsibility/Unreliability Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 Sociopath is an umbrella term. From link removed Glibness and Superficial Charm Manipulative and Conning Grandiose Sense of Self Pathological Lying Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt Shallow Emotions Incapacity for Love Need for Stimulation Callousness/Lack of Empathy Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Irresponsibility/Unreliability Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Well, she seems to fit the "pathological lying" criteria and the "manipulative and conning" -- not sure about the rest of them, from what the OP is has posted. "Criminal or entrepreneurial versatility?" Hmmmm...I think I know someone like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.