LisaRoseP Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Men can have anything they want. The women who are loved protect them and step on women who are not loved. Why do you think that all strong minded independent women are hated? Look at history women who are the most loved are weak. Men who are the most loved are strong. Men can get away with not being physically perfect and other men dont look down on them for it. Women dont look down on them either. If a woman is not loved and is not perfect physically then she might as well be taken out to the curb. And men and women agree this should be so. Well guess what I will never ever admire some depressed cry baby who only cares about being above other women. I will admire women who actually support other women and dont expect men to ridicule other women because they are not as beautiful as me. Oh im so beautiful and that woman is mean to me bcause im flirting with her husband. Oh that mean old woman getting angry at the poor little beautiful woman she just jealous of your looks honey. We love you because you are beautiful even though you are clearly out for yourself and dont have a thought in your head. Bad behaivor should not be excused because of a womans looks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny77 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 lol........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaRoseP Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Basically confirms my belief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I am strong minded and independent and feminine and and caring and assertive and serious and funny and sometimes boring, neurotic, rigid, frizzed, irritable, cranky and and -I am a mish mash of lots of traits - I don't like to be labeled or categorized as whatever - and that describes most of the people - yes, including women! -I know. My strong mindedness, independence, intelligence -worked to my advantage in my search for a good match for myself - so did the fact that I am a mish mash of all those qualities and more - because how boring is it to be able to categorize someone - then what's left to discover? My husband is also a wonderful, quirky, mish mash too. And he loves that I am - otherwise, we'd both be bored. It's fine to have a pity party once in awhile but the male bashing stuff gets old quickly, don't you think -and more importantly, does it really help you feel better about yourself or contribute to treating people as individuals? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaRoseP Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Excuse me? Male bashing? I was talking about women who are loved and know it and like to mock women who are not and with your post you also validated my belief! If you listen to your own post you are making fun of an unloved woman. Pity party? GSY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't think women like to go around mocking other women. I really don't. Lisa, no one here is mocking you, they are trying to get you to open up and hear what they are offering you which is some help, but you are stubbornly refusing to hear anything other than what you want to hear and insist you are being mocked when it is not , or believing people are attacking you. You said in another thread that you have troubles in this area of always thinking people are intentionally trying to mock you or otherwise be mean to you. Believe me 99% people do not have the time of day for that nor the inclination. Perhaps you should reconsider it is your perception of what is happening and not their intention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Lisa, no sane women would ever mock a woman that is not loved. If someone does that to you, just chalk it up to their immaturity. I had a girl friend who always made fun of me for not having a boy friend when I was younger. Now she is going through a divorce after a 7 year old relationship and is devastated. It's hard to feel sorry for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Lisa--it's clear from your various threads that you feel angry and upset and believe society is set up to see you fail. Regardless of whether--or how much--of what you say is true, that doesn't take away from the fact that you're the only one who can change your situation. If you want to meet someone, you'll need to put yourself out there. Bars, internet dating, etc. Being angry that men are not approaching you is not going to help the situation. I mean, I'm gay. I'm sure I could rant for days about how heterosexist culture is, how horrible it is that you can still be fired from your job in many places in North America due to sexual orientation, etc. But that's not going to help the situation. If you desire change you have to enact it positively and not constantly complain and play the victim card. It just isn't going to achieve anything. This is an advice forum, and as such people are going to respond with advice on how to combat situations. We're not going to just reply with "Oh dear you're so right, life is unfair". It's just not productive and won't help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 [/b] I agree, this only helpful for a very short time period, then it is just re enforcing someone's idea that they are a victim and having them continue to be one. The only person that can actually do something about it is the actual person. People can give you ideas and skills but YOU have to do the work. Making snide comments to people who want to help you also leads to your self fulling prophesy you have happening. If you are snide to people they will ignore you, because truthfully why would someone want to help when they are only going to be treated like crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Feelings are feelings and those in themselves aren't wrong, but our perceptions can be(and can harm more than aide). Our emotions aren't based purely in reason and if we run with one everytime we have it, we are bound to come to irrational conclusions and make impulse choices. Don't ask me how to blend logic with emotion, because I suck at it. I'm a very emotional person and I'm guilty of making rash and harsh assumptions about myself, others, and my environment. All I can see you doing right now is aiding this self-fulfilling prophecy that you have - You are twisting words around to make them work for you. There comes a very painful point in life(and I've definitely found myself on that path a few times) where you realize it isn't what people are doing to you, it's what you're doing to yourself. I won't disagree that there are mean people in this world. This planet is full of nasties; On the contrary, there are some very lovely, kind, gentle-hearted ones. But when you have a dark veil over your face you won't be able to see and recognize for what it is, and certainly not experience it. Nothing will change until you work on the chip on your shoulder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I dont see how being loved has anything to do with the way that a woman or man is treated. Even assuming that your idea is correct women and men are not loved by all and in turn are not hated by all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hexaemeron Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Wow, you are severely bitter. Living and feeling that way cannot feel good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaRoseP Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I dont see how being loved has anything to do with the way that a woman or man is treated. Even assuming that your idea is correct women and men are not loved by all and in turn are not hated by all. Some are loved by all. I have seen it. And it has nothing to do with how much she loves because I loved everyone when I was younger. Fate just makes some women loved and others hated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaRoseP Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 You are right. No it does not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitkat973 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't think that you can draw absolutes like that. Painting your world in black and white like this will make it difficult for you to have fulfilling relationships. People are individuals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Some are loved by all. I have seen it. And it has nothing to do with how much she loves because I loved everyone when I was younger. Fate just makes some women loved and others hated. of course some people will be lots of things -loved by all, hated by all, everything in between. Not sure what the point is of that. I don't agree it has to do with fate. Being loved in a sincere way reflects the other person's loving and giving nature - part of it might be fate because timing is a factor and who you come accross in life but only a part. I think your original post made negative generalizations about men - it's unfair to me to say that all men can have everything they want - most men I know had to work their behinds off for what they have, just like most women I know. Including me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Men can get away with not being physically perfect and other men dont look down on them for it. Women dont look down on them either. Really!!!! Go to a high school gym class to see if men don't deride other men for percieved imperfections. And as far as women not looking down on men for not being physically perfect they did a study on just that subject. They paraded short average looking men who had GREAT careers in front of a group of women and then a group of physically attractive men with lousy jobs in front of the same group. They then asked the women who they would rather start a relationship with. The overwhelming majority picked the good looking losers as opposed to the successful men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaRoseP Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 About being loved in a sincere way as a reflection of one,s generous nature is again claiming its my fault. I was a very giving and outgoing person when I was younger and I guess I give off no reflection. I take offense to the fact that people will not admit that they are unfeeling and hateful. There is a line I read in book once that absolutely floored me when I read it. I think it was in Secret Life of Bees. It kinda went like, all I have ever wanted was for someone to acknowledge that I was wronged. Thats all I ever asked. I could be wrong about the book. I dont want to be blamed for people not loving me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Really!!!! Go to a high school gym class to see if men don't deride other men for percieved imperfections. And as far as women not looking down on men for not being physically perfect they did a study on just that subject. They paraded short average looking men who had GREAT careers in front of a group of women and then a group of physically attractive men with lousy jobs in front of the same group. They then asked the women who they would rather start a relationship with. The overwhelming majority picked the good looking losers as opposed to the successful men. Link to that study? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 About being loved in a sincere way as a reflection of one,s generous nature is again claiming its my fault. I was a very giving and outgoing person when I was younger and I guess I give off no reflection. I take offense to the fact that people will not admit that they are unfeeling and hateful. There is a line I read in book once that absolutely floored me when I read it. I think it was in Secret Life of Bees. It kinda went like, all I have ever wanted was for someone to acknowledge that I was wronged. Thats all I ever asked. I could be wrong about the book. I dont want to be blamed for people not loving me! Outgoing, positive people attract outgoing, positive people. No one wants to be with a victim. You don't always, or ever, get acknowledgement that life has done you wrong. But being a victim is not the answer. Being bitter is not the answer. Getting back up, dusting yourself off and trying again is the way to go. You only get ONE life. Live it to it's fullest no matter what cards you are dealt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eocsor Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Link to that study? I saw it on 20\20 I believe. I can't remember the paper it was based on but I think the study was published in Nature magazine if you want to do a search. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitkat973 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 all I have ever wanted was for someone to acknowledge that I was wronged. Thats all I ever asked. I could be wrong about the book. I dont want to be blamed for people not loving me! What happens after that acknowledgement? If someone agrees that yes, you have been wronged, what's the next step? What are you looking to get out of posting here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 There is a line I read in book once that absolutely floored me when I read it. I think it was in Secret Life of Bees. It kinda went like, all I have ever wanted was for someone to acknowledge that I was wronged. Thats all I ever asked. I could be wrong about the book. I dont want to be blamed for people not loving me! Everyone at some point, has been wronged. Everyone. Asking people, who haven't wronged you, to see you only in terms of that is asking for special treatment, to be seen and handled purely as a victim. Fact is, it's not up to other people to love you. It's not their responsibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 The idea of life is learning to love yourself. Other people loving you is everyone's dream for sure, but if you do not love yourself, no one else's love will ever be enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 You can't let your own happiness be contingent on the actions of others. If it's dependent on that, you'll live the rest of your life as an emotional hostage, basically. That said, I agree--women are vicious to each other. I ignore other men, and am ignored by them. But I've seen the damage women do, in terms of gossip, judging, comparisons, etc. As you've seen in the replies to this, when you complain the unfairness of the dating/relationship game, you're going to get criticism, instead of support. This is because some people are benefiting from that unfairness, while others were strong enough to overcome it. But not everyone is strong enough to do that, sadly. This is a fairly basic tribal mentality. You say "The problem is the way things are," and they say "No, I like the way things are, and I don't want to be part of the problem, so you're the problem!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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