I want to progress...but I'm stopping myself.

[r0ckox]

](*,) I'm running into a wall here, and I don't know what the hell to do!

 

I don't know if this is in the right section - it's probably more of a FWB thing.

 

An old ex girlfriend of mine from back in 2003 has recently popped back into my life. We dated for a short period back then, and broke it off mutually due to her going away for the summer. We never got back together when she returned, but over the years we hooked up here and there.

 

To make a long story short, she got in touch with me via facebook after not seeing or talking to her for about 4 years. We made some small chit-chat and then she asked if I wanted to hook up sometime, to which I answered "sure" to. It took us about a week or two of failed attempts before we finally met, where she came over my place and we just hung out watching movies and whatnot. Nothing actually happened between us other than a hug hello and goodbye.

 

Since then, she's wanted to hang out almost everyday - and for the most part, we're making it happen.

 

I took her out Friday night to the movies, and afterwards we came back to my place again and watched TV and more movies and all that.. and we shared a bed that night. Nothing went on between us sexually, as I wasn't sure if she just wanted to sleep, or whether or not I should have tried to make a move; so we just slept.

 

We hung out again last night, and I took her to a diner. Nothing special as it was 1am and there really wasn't much to do, but both of us are night owls and we're always up around that time. After the diner, we came back here again and hung out for the night. She ended up falling asleep on the couch, so I went to the bed. She came to join me a little while later, and during the course of the night we cuddled a little bit - but that was as far as it went.

 

Again, I wasn't sure weather or not to make a move. It just...feels weird. There are several things stopping me from doing anything, and I either have to overcome it, or stop this.. and I don't know what to do.

 

First of all, this was the girl I lost my virginity to way back when, I don't think that matters, but thought I'd throw it out there - so it's not like we haven't ever done anything. It's just been so long since then. Plus, back when we dated, we were big into alcohol / drugs, so that helped and made things a LOT easier. She's completely clean and sober now - and I won't drink when I'm with her out of respect for her choice, so it's making it a little awkward for me. Yeah, I have a little confidence problem.

 

When we got back in contact, we also saw each other on the POF website - and one night as we were texting, I asked her what she was doing on the site, and what she was looking for.

Her response? "A good and some cuddles."

That wasn't a response I was expecting so it kind of threw me off a bit.

Plus it's a turn off. That's kind of a thing to say...soo yeah.

 

Anyway, I feel like she wants me to make a move on her, but for some reason I just can't do it. I went through hell and back the last 2 years with another girl who pretty much played me for the biggest fool on the planet, and it's destroyed every bit of confidence I had left. I'm not over all that, so that holds me back.

 

Plus, the alcohol factor comes into play. I'm a big drinker. It helps me break the ice and allows me to enjoy myself more than when I'm sober - and like I said, she's completely clean. So, without that crutch of confidence, I'm pretty much a shell just sitting there...and it's killing me! Every time she leaves my place, or we end the night, I'm always kicking myself for not doing anything when it was pretty much right in front of me. She was always the kind of girl who would make the move if I didn't - and now she's not doing that.. so I don't really know. People change, I guess.

 

Plus, I see her on POF all that time, and she's always adding new guys to her facebook account - so I know I'm not the only guy she's hanging out with - and for some reason, that's kind of a turnoff for me. Not to say she can't do whatever she wants, but I'm just the type of person to only "talk to" or "hang out with" one person at a time.

 

But at the same time, with all that said about my lack of confidence, she still wants to hang out with me, still willing to share a bed and spend the night with me, and still shows signs of interest - so I'm at a complete crossroads here.

 

Part of me wants to just say "" and go for it, but I can't right now, and the other part of me wants to tell her not to waste her time - but if I do that, I'm going to regret it later because I just pushed away an opportunity... and these opportunities don't come around every day.

 

I didn't exactly explain this right, but right now I don't really know HOW to...

 

What the hell do I do?

[HeartGoesOn]

Are you looking for an opportunity to have a relationship with her, or are you looking for a FWB's? If it's the latter, how can you be sure that you may, or may not be one of many?

[r0ckox]

I'm fine with FWB if it ends up that way... I'm not really looking for a relationship - I don't know what she's looking for.

 

I'm not worried about being one of many - I'm worried about losing out on an opportunity. I want to make a move, I feel like that's what she wants - but I'm holding back. That's a problem.