Zuri Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 You're doing the right thing. If my ex managed to contact me now, I'm sure I'd do the same as you. Ignore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferna3069 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 just ignore man she played with your heart once why wouldnt she do it agian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnz Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 im starting to feel like i will have to block her number actually. She first texted me at around 6pm or so and got no reply. Then she texted me again around 12am saying "please say something.....". Again, i did not reply nor plan on it. Kinda funny to see how the dynamics have shifted though. Now she is the one who cant be without me and is turning clingy and needy while ive been doing just fine without her. I just hope she doesnt start calling me once she realizes she isnt getting responses. She hurt you...it's time for her to reap what she sowed... No reply...because if you reply she will see she still can get your attention...she needs to LEARN she can't treat people the way she does...she needs to pay the consequences of her actions...she will never learn if people give into her... 3 weeks of silence is nothing...your heart will be months of pain for what she did...her bed was made now she can lay in it... Let this be her wake up call !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP90 Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 I definitely plan to stay NC. I know i gave her nothing but chances and was there for her in our time of need. She abandoned me and wanted to move on. She got her wish. I told her the last time we talked i want NC. Its clear she cant respect that even because of how regretful she might be now. I know i dont want to see her or speak to her now. I dont have a single word to say to her at this point. Its really sad it ended this way because i told her end it civil beforehand and we could be friends in the future. Instead she chose this path, so be it. But its not me who has to deal with the consequences now. Still weird though, my first weeks after BU i wasnt doing too well, while she was fine. Now its the exact opposite. I just hope i keeps getting better from here on out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I think that you are through the roughest part. We are always here for you if you want to talk!..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferna3069 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 your my friend man if you want to just talk go ahead and pm me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP90 Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 UPDATE...again Its been roughly another week. Ive been doing pretty well id say. Was out with a bunch of friends clubbing all night. Got home at 4am, went to bed and at 7am get a text, its her again. This time saying, "i cant do this anymore, we need to talk, pleeeeeeeeaaasseeeeeeee answer". Again i did not and do not plan on answering as i havent this far. Its clear to me that she is having a very hard time dealing with her mistake and now cant sleep or do anything. BUT, im almost 100% sure the only reason she is texting me is to try to relieve her own guilt. I know i have nothing to say to her because i know what she did and its history now. Her words mean absolutely nothing to me because she is a liar. So my question is, should i try to have someone who can contact her tell her to stop texting me or just continue to ignore her texts? I have a feeling she might not stop or might even try calling or coming to see me. With each of her texts i realize more and more that i care less and less about her and that she seems to be "caring" more. Not that it makes a difference to me what she thinks or does now. Any advice is appreciated as always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnoliatree Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I would NOT get a third party involved. Just be direct and tell her straight out that you don't wish to speak with her right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellie Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I don't think it's about guilt. If you can cheat on someone, get them to come back again, then dump on them all over, I don't think you have any issues there. It sounds more like ego or the grass not being greener. Hats off to you for not replying. If you're over her, why would you? Someone did once say that if you're nice to people, it just makes them feel worse, but I wouldn't bother engaging in contact - you clearly have your head in a pretty good place - it's only going to potentially set you back. She'll probably stop. If she didn't, I know it's a pain, but I think I'd be tempted to change my number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 She is trying to elicit a response from you, any response. A third party tellling to stop contacting you is still a response. Stay in strict NC. I am glad that you finally are now seeing her for what she really is......chi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP90 Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 Well, exactly what i thought happened about 30 mins ago. I was walking my dog in the park talking to my buddy on the phone, when out of nowhere shes calling me on the second line. I figured, ok fine, i need to tell her to stop contacting me. I tried switching to the second line but by the time i did she hung up already. I dont know if it was an accidental butt dialing or she was just too scared to actually talk and decided to hang up. But Chitown9, you got me thinking now, maybe its better not to even answer her call if she does try again, not to give her any response. I want her to stop contacting me, but at the same time, i dont want to answer her call or hear her if its going to set me back. I suppose ill try to remain NC but sooner or later she might actually go the extra mile and try to come see me in person. Not much avoiding i can do then if that happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP90 Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 What a day, i tell you. So out of nowhere my friend calls me just now to tell me she contacted him asking if i changed my number because she cant get a hold of me. Apparently she is feeling really sorry for what she did and cries herself to sleep everynight and just wants to talk to me. I still dont buy it, took her over a month to get to this point? No way im going to answer her, the only way she could possible get anything out of me is if she ends up seeing me face to face. What irony though, first i cried and pleaded and she didnt care. Now its me holding my head up high and being happy again while she is crying. The world definitely has its own weird ways, but sooner or later we all get whats coming for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnoliatree Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Well, if you don't want to talk to her at all, does your phone have an option to send certain contacts straight to voicemail? But I still think that if you were direct, you could get her to leave you alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I think you should send her a text telling her not to contact you any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellie Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 No way im going to answer her, the only way she could possible get anything out of me is if she ends up seeing me face to face. What irony though, first i cried and pleaded and she didnt care. Now its me holding my head up high and being happy again while she is crying. The world definitely has its own weird ways, but sooner or later we all get whats coming for us. If she turns up at your home, are you really going to be cool as a cucumber and not be affected by it? You're in control now but face to face might be different. I think ringing your friend, in light of the history, was a ballsy move on her part. She seems to be off the chart. Turning up unanounced would seem a fairly predictable next step. I can't wrap my head around it TBH. If all this was because she'd got blasted and had a ONS, maybe, but all of that then all of this a month later? It seems odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I suppose ill try to remain NC but sooner or later she might actually go the extra mile and try to come see me in person. Not much avoiding i can do then if that happens. LP90, this is a no brainer. Just don't answer the door!! She doen't know if you are home or not. Even if your car is in front of the house it does not prove anything. A friend could have picked you up......where's your imagnination? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellie Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 LP90, this is a no brainer. Just don't answer the door!! She doen't know if you are home or not. Even if your car is in front of the house it does not prove anything. A friend could have picked you up......where's your imagnination? So long as he doesn't have a bunny hopping around in the garden Dunno. Ringing the friend and trying to get him on side, given the circumstances, sounds like out and out desperation to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imonlyhuman Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 yo man, dont ever contact this girl. you deserve better than that * * * * . good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP90 Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Thanks everyone. I didnt mean just at home though, she knows where i work too. I hope she isnt that dumb to actually come all the way to my place for nothing. She doesnt deserve a minute of my time. If she is crying herself to sleep as she claims, then thats all on her. My conscience is clear and i know i have nothing to worry about. If she actually does cry at night, which i doubt, then let it be a lesson to her and maybe she wont do it again to the next guy shes with. I know i deserve better, which is why i wont even slightly consider forgiving her. I just really dont get her motive though, over a month goes by now shes crying? Seems like grass wasnt greener after all but that again, just cant be a concern of mine anymore. We arent coworkers, friends, in a relationship, nothing. We are just strangers again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameishope Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 It is all on her ,LP90! You keep wondering why she's crying now, after one month has passed. It can take even longer for some people to realize they're mistakes or just the grass wasn't greener after all. Sounds like you're doing great though! Keep it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP90 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Yet another update! So she tried texting me a few more times, i didnt even bother posting it here until now. I kept ignoring her and deleting her messages as soon as i got them. I was sitting behind the computer when she texted me 5 mins ago saying this... "i really need to see you. i cant sleep or eat normally anymore. i have dreams about you literally every night and i wake up hoping they are true. it took losing you for me to finally understand how much i love you and need you and want you. please try to find it in your heart to give me a chance. i know i screwed up but im willing to drop everything for you. u still mean the world to me. just one phone call, one anything. pleeeeeaassseeeee!" Now typically a text from her would be pointless and meaningless. I think this one kinda hit hard because this is the first time she has admitted the pain she is feeling, that she misses me, loves, needs and wants me etc. Now im not dumb, i know this girl put me through hell and back and i know there is absolutely no way i can give her another chance. She has got more chances than i can count. Never appreciated me and now its too late. BUT, i feel like i should at least say something like, "listen, you wanted to move on, you wanted me out of your life, you got a BF, i cant help you. Wish you the best." I know NC is golden but a lot of people also say NC isnt a rule. It might give me some closure so to speak to tell her i dont care for her now. I just dont know if hearing or seeing her is a good idea. Its one thing to talk about it, but a whole differnt ball game when the person is there in front of you. Some help please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnoliatree Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I'd sleep on it, but I'd probably send something more direct since you never want to hear from her again: "It's over between us. Please don't contact me again, thanks." I'd also not reply tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tryptophan Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I wouldn't reply to her at all. She cheated on you, she doesn't deserve not even a bit of compassion or understanding. It's time for her to pay for the crap she did to you. You should be enjoying this, karma is a * * * * * , lol. I would get a restraining order on her ass for text-harassing you. I hate how cheaters cheat, end the relationship, and then THEY're the victim. They never thought about you or your feelings when they cheated, so why should YOU care now? * * * * that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 agree with magnolia ---- text a reply tomorrow saying it's over, and you don't want to hear from her again. No need to see or call her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 If you are sure you don't want her back (really sure and not speaking out of hurt and anger alone) then I would reply but as compassionately as possible. There is no need to be abrupt or hurtful despite what she did to you. Take the high ground and be firm but not brutal - you will be a better person if you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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