Ritz Maidge Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 As the title says, I like one of the managers at my job. It sounds bad saying it just like that, so maybe a little more description: he is not my actual manager. I am a sales person working evenings, and he is the manager of the dock/shipping/receiving area working early mornings/afternoons. We hardly see each other at work, thus we don't have a whole lot of interaction at work. We see each other maybe twice a week at work, if even that, because of our different hours. However, I have had time to have some casual conversations with him and see that he is not a "bad" guy. He is actually a very responsible guy, extremely nice, dedicated to working so that he can help his family, etc. (Note: there is only a two year age gap between us.) In the past, he has refused offers to go out (mostly to bars) with coworkers. He said he tries not to mix work with "play" because it's not appropriate. It's understandable. I get that. The thing is, I like what I know of him. I would like to hang out with him and get to know him better. I just don't see how that's possible, since he really doesn't want to hang out with coworkers? A part of me wants to think he may be attracted to me. When I first started there, he would stare at me a lot (we saw each other more back then.) About a month or so ago, he came up to me at work, and while we were conversing he said something along the lines of, "you know I don't put up with a lot from people here at work - only the people I like. That's why you could do or say anything to me and I wouldn't care." Over the past couple of weeks, I've gone into work and have had a couple of coworkers tell me that he's been asking about me (asking if I'm dating a guy at work who has a crush on me and stuff.) The thing that gets me: when we see each other, he always gives me a hug and says hello. I saw him last week, and he just looked at me and didn't say anything. It was a tad bit confusing. I immediately went into thinking he only did that because there were about 20 other coworkers right there with us, and he is a shy guy, so he didn't want it to look "bad." However, now I'm thinking the worst case scenario: he has no interest in me. It's perfectly fine if he doesn't. That's what I'm expecting - story of my life. But if he is interested, I feel the same, and I'd like to get to know him more... but I really don't know how to approach this situation. I know he's shy, and I know he has a few personal insecurities (he used to be a bit overweight and was poked fun of a lot - not sure he's really gotten completely over that.) Me, on the other hand... I'm extremely confident. I don't have many insecurities. I'm very extroverted, always socializing... we're opposites in that aspect, but that's what I like about him. Anyways, thanks in advance for reading this and giving any advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Unfortunately this is one of those no-win situations. I am a manager at an office building and under no circumstances would I fraternize with anyone lower on the totem pole, so to speak. Even if that person did not report to me. In most companies it is grounds for immediate dismissal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambiguous X Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 It sounds like he's intimidated by the situation. All you can do is give him hints and invite him indirectly to ask you out. If he can't do that, he is BF unworthy and just saved you alot of time. No guts, No glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritz Maidge Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Oh, I know that it's inappropriate to "date" someone lower than you. I wouldn't do it either if I were a manager. But hanging out and texting/talking on the phone isn't exactly "dating" is it? Well, maybe to some! lol! I'm not going to push the issue - that's just not my style. I'll be perfectly fine whether or not something happens between us beyond a coworker relationship. As for 'inviting him indirectly to ask me out' - how would I approach that? And why is it that you think he may be intimidated by the situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Skittles Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 I think you should ask him out, casually. Ask if he wants to go get a drink or a bite to eat after work one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritz Maidge Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 I think you should ask him out, casually. Ask if he wants to go get a drink or a bite to eat after work one day. Waaaaa! Ok, that's my insecurity: I have trouble asking men out if I really like them, and am unsure as to whether or not they like me. Lol! That won't be easy for me! I know it can be done, I have asked out plenty of guys... but I like this one! Haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FathomFear Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 It sounds like he's intimidated by the situation. All you can do is give him hints and invite him indirectly to ask you out. If he can't do that, he is BF unworthy and just saved you alot of time. No guts, No glory! This isn't a matter of guts. It's a matter of how much he wants to keep his job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritz Maidge Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 Sooo, no more advice on how to approach this situation? I'm going to be working with him for a good ol' 5 hours tomorrow. I'm not sure whether or not to attempt anything, or just leave it be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritz Maidge Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 Well then.... I guess I'll just leave an update: He spent the entire day talking to me, hanging around me, seemed to be flirting and whatnot. He was leaving as I was going on my lunch break, and we were talking. I asked if he'd like to join. "No, that's ok. Thanks though." Rejected. Oh well, *shrug* Time to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 It sounds like he knows there can be repercussions as a result of dating an employee. This is why work place romances are frowned upon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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