LP90 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Just feeling really down today and need to vent. Today is the beginning of week 3 of NC since the breakup and for some reason feeling worse than before. The backstory is we were together 2 years, last few months of the relationship she met a "friend" and became too "friendly", long story short, she cheated on me, strung me along, and fed me lies to my face for weeks and months. I stupidly bought it all in hopes of saving the relationship. Seemed like she wanted the same because she would always tell me, nothing was going on, hes just a friend, her heart belongs to me, im the one for her, she knows we can make this work, etc. Anyway, yesterday i was retelling everything that happened to my cousin, and for some reason i realized just how much and how long she was lying to me. I just cant get over it now. Feel like the last 4-5 months of our relationship were a lie. I told her SO many times before we broke up because i saw red flags and had a gut feeling something wasnt right, if she feels different towards me, or has feelings for this new "friend" its better to break it off now, while its civil and at least be friends in the future. Instead she kept lying to me, betrayed me, cheated on me for months, begged for forgiveness, i gave it to her in hopes we will remain together, then she decided she wants to move on anyway. First week wasnt bad actually, second one a lot of memories came back and was deeply saddened, now im just feeling really low because its really hitting me, how deeply i was disrespected, betrayed, lied to, and so on by the person i loved and i thought loved me back. She has gone from the person i loved SO much to a person that makes me want to vomit just from the thought of what she has put me through. Never thought a person could become SO heartless. Im trying to stay strong and keep my head up, i know she wasnt the only fish in the sea, but it was a first real love so it just reallllly hurts right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsomnia912 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Did we date the same girl???/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iBroken Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 ^ How is that helpful? What is the relevance? Unless you were the "friend" the OP was referring to, the chances of this are very unlikely. OP - the months were not a lie - unfortunately, your ex changed her mind at some point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightLily Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I know how you feel. I had an ex do that to me.. lying.. for about a year. I had absolutely no idea (nooooone) until the last few months though and then I got dragged through the mud big time. I also felt like vomiting whenever I thought about him. It is really weird.. isn't it? You have so much respect for somebody and then you see they are some worm with zero honor. I don't think you ever totally get over that depending on how deep the betrayal was. The thing is that you stop caring about them. Eventually you are just happy it is over and you are away from them. You start to realize also that you need to be strong and protect yourself first and not depend on somebody to be kind or a decent person. Some people really just aren't when it comes down to the wire. They can be when everything is going their way but sometimes you have to save yourself and get away from them. The good thing about the way you feel is that you probably lost about all attraction to her. It might sting for awhile but you won't have any thoughts of going back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LP90 Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 I know i definitely will not be going back to her, nor she would want it herself. So in that sense its good. Its just the overall pain of thinking everything was going well, when in reality it was only me thinking that way while she was off doing her own thing. It was basically a one sided relationship. I know for sure though, i will be 1000 times more cautious next time around and to always follow my gut feelings. Had i done that from the beginning, none of this would have happened. My first priority will be watching after myself. But at the same time, i feel as if though when we fall in love, we are often blinded by all the happyness of it all and dont focus on ourselves nearly as much as we should. I want to keep venting about all this, but for some reason, its not making me feel any better. Only making me further realize what a disgusting person she is for doing this to me. Just cant shake the feeling of it all. Worse yet, i have to go and sit at work till 12am today and tomorrow, i hope i dont end up thinking about it a lot there since there will be free time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightLily Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 For me it really did start feeling so much better in as little time as two weeks. Since I was so over everything he put me through and him it wasn't too bad. You just have to hang in there. I felt HORRIBLE at first but I recovered pretty quickly from the pain. You have to get through the initial shock and then trust me, it will be okay from then on out. Not perfect but nowhere nearly as bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I am sorry you are going through this. Vent all you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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