NC & Thinking about the Ex

[bart]

I have not spoken a word to my ex in 1 year and a month. Lately, I've started thinking about him again, and today I even read some old letters he sent me. I don't want to talk to him or be with him again, I guess some memories are just making me miss him. Is this normal?

 

He contacted me 3 times in the first 3 months after the break-up (I never responded), but since then, he's been NC as well.

 

I'm just wondering if I'm feeling this way because it's around the year mark of the breakup and NC. I've been doing fine the rest of the year, and I very rarely think about him. Also, this past month I've been looking at his facebook page, which I hadn't done in months. Could this be bringing back feelings of wanting to know what he's up to and such? Last week I decided to stop looking at his page, and have since kept that up. Any advice would be helpful, thanks.

[nsomnia912]

Why don't you want to talk to him...if your thinking about him...maybe you didn't put things behind you? Are you going through things right now?

 

I am curiois as well, because I would like to at some point in life reach out to my ex again. We may have had a bad bu..and she left me for another and I was just left devastated....but she was an important relationship...thought me alot, I have become reborn from it...I live in peace I finally have happiness inside and I am mindful of life..I appreciate things....and while now i dont think she is a good person, I understand that someone had to suffer, its a part of life...

 

But I am not bitter, I am thankfull of having her in my life and i am thankful that she left....I really want to tell her this someday.

That is how i feel.

[Tryptophan]

It's normal to feel this way after big marks of NC (all the way through the 30-day, then 60-day, 120-day, 1 year, etc), I think. The exes were people who were big parts of our lives at one point, and it takes a while before we reach that point where we just say "I hope he (or she) is happy, but I don't want them back in my life" Another thing has maybe strung you along is the fact that you still check out his FB, did you just stop looking at it?

 

The whole Facebook thing is quite the poison. I have had trouble stopping looking at his, and it really just feels like I've lost him all over again when I don't look at it. It seems that it's been quite a while now and you should be past the point where you feel the need to check.

[bart]

It's normal to feel this way after big marks of NC (all the way through the 30-day, then 60-day, 120-day, 1 year, etc), I think. The exes were people who were big parts of our lives at one point, and it takes a while before we reach that point where we just say "I hope he (or she) is happy, but I don't want them back in my life" Another thing has maybe strung you along is the fact that you still check out his FB, did you just stop looking at it?

 

The whole Facebook thing is quite the poison. I have had trouble stopping looking at his, and it really just feels like I've lost him all over again when I don't look at it. It seems that it's been quite a while now and you should be past the point where you feel the need to check.

 

Well, we broke up last May and I checked his facebook for a few months afterwards. In late July I completely stopped looking at it. I only started looking at it again this past May, on his birthday. Since that day, I kept checking it occasionally. But I noticed I'd been thinking about him more, so I've completely stopped looking at it again. Maybe this is the reason, because I hadn't given him any thought in the past 6 months or so.

[bart]

I don't know what I'd say to him. And part of me takes pride in the fact that I have done NC for this long.