Married wrong person???

[upset1607306433]

Well I have been married a whole 3 months and I am miserable.

I can not stop thinking about some one else. I feel like I may have married the wrong person. I don't think that I love my husband. I think I have mad a monumental mistake. Is this part of the newlywed blues? Is this feeling going to go away? What am I to do?

[kal1607306433]

if you feel you have truly made a mistake then no one should have to suffer just to 'keep a promise'. it is not good for either party in the end. but the real question is whether it is just some emotional phase you are going through or that you really are making a big mistake and walking down the wrong path.

 

do you really love that OTHER person? you could be suffering from "the girl in white parasol" syndrome, where the person you don't truly know you fill in the details with fantasies and they seem much better than those who you do know.

 

Is your newly wed husband someone you can share these thoughts with? if he is, then I would suggest you have found the right person and that you should communicate your feelings to him.

 

In any case, you should not just suppress these thoughts and try to go on with life. that may work, but if it doesn't it will end up hurting much more than if you think it through. what will make you happy? where do you see yourself if you continue with the marriage, where do you see yourself if you pursued your other options? are those situations you would like to be in?

 

and of course, please bear in mind the feelings of your newly-wed husband. I believe honesty always hurts the most at first but will be the least costly in the long run.

[marah11607306435]

I can identify--without writing a book--(I hope) I feel the same way.I was in a long term relationship and so wanted to marrythis man--but after 14 years he took off in the middle of the night ,leaving a "dear John" letter and a lot of debt and sorrow, so after 3 years of dating hell I married someone I work with (after only4 mos of dating)-- who was sexy and charming and actually (then) very very giving and kind---I really do think I loved him when I married him but after almost a year I am miserable [/b][/i]and I too have had fantasies of someone else being "better" than my husband or finding an older man to "save" and support me(as due to my husband's child support I support him--which I thought would be A-OK with me to work 2 jobs to do--until I became ILL and realized I am not superwoman)It is funny what tricks one's mind plays on one--I fantasized about my husband and wanted to be HIS so badly and the reality is just nothing the same.

So at least I will give these tips I have read here and there and that no matter how old or desperate you are you should follow Date at least 6 mos--2NEVER base your relationship on looks--3Do NOT marry the one you think you can live with--Marry the one you think you cannot live without--Take it from someone who knows first hand--I am not certain being alone was "better" but it was way less stressful.