LP90 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 So im on day 6 of NC and have been staying really busy to try to keep my mind off everything that happened. During the day i more or less manage myself even though 80-90% of the time i think about the BU and everythng that happened and its honestly makes me want to cry inside. Im still in a lot of pain because of how everything happened. At night i find myself staying out with friends really late then come home and sit on ENA for a while, then just watch TV till i crash. That works really well to keep my mind completely off what happened and i not only fall asleep easy, even though its always around 3am, but i also dont have dreams about her so i actually sleep ok. The problem is when i wake up. Every single morning i wake up and the very first thought is her and everything that happened. Right away i feel sad and a pain in my chest. It literally makes my morning and day begin with pain instead of motivation and happyness. What can i do to remove or at least lessen these thoughts and feelings? I realize im only 6 days in and its not much time, but i cant keep waking up with so much pain every morning. Link to comment
ks240030 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 My suggestion to you is to wake up earlier and go to the gym and run for at least a mile. After my ex broke up with me, I started a new routine to go the gym and exercise. The endorphins from exercising in the morning put me in a good mood and you have a more optomistic outlook of the day. Link to comment
irishgerry Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I find the mornings the first thing I think about is her. All I can tell you that I'm on day 25 of NC and we work together and even though I think of her the pain goes away with time. Link to comment
mrwebcam Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 It took me nearly two months for the pain to subside ugh. It will only get better for you LP90. I still miss her very much but i am doing much better as time is going by. Take a deep breath in morning and look forward to starting a new fresh day. Make a to do list for your day so you can start your day being busy. Try a morning exercise routine in morning. You can do it, be strong for you and only you Link to comment
lastshot20 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 You're not alone! it's going to get better Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Maybe do a set of pushups and situps.. Try to meditate/ deep breathing exercises. Try to do something firat thing every morning to retrain your mind....plus its still fresh. Try to get to bed at a more decent time... Read a little bit.. Link to comment
TakingtheBlame Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I'm with ks240030 on this one...wake up nice and early and have a clear-cut goal, like going to the gym. Do your best not to linger on those miserable, oppressive feelings...get out of bed, have a good breakfast, and get your day started. I've never been much of a morning gym person, and I'm a girl, so after a bad breakup I always woke up and just looked forward to prettying myself up for the day...got a favorite outfit ready, put on my best make-up, thought of all the fun little things I could do later in the day after work (gym, meet friends, read that book I had been meaning to read.) Plus, it's the summer time...open the windows! Get out into the sunshine! Focus on getting up and out of bed and push those bad feelings away. I've gone through that post-breakup morning-depression soooo many times and it always fades away in a month or three...just be strong, keep your mind focused and busy, and it'll be gone before you know it. Link to comment
InLimboForEver Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Everybody is right, Wake up and have something ready to happen or something to do, if you wake up and have got time free then your only going to think about them... It is I would say one of the most horrible feelings ever, waking up and thinking of them... Hope it goes with time.... Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I agree with everyone. I would get that pain and just want to do nothing - wrong move! lol So I started walking every morning. Before I could start ruminating on the BU I would force myself out of the house and take a long hard walk. That did two things, got me out of the house, and got the endorphins going. It's works wonders. Link to comment
JerkBrokeMe Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 It took me nearly two months for the pain to subside ugh. It will only get better for you LP90. I still miss her very much but i am doing much better as time is going by. Take a deep breath in morning and look forward to starting a new fresh day. Make a to do list for your day so you can start your day being busy. Try a morning exercise routine in morning. You can do it, be strong for you and only you 2 months? I envy you. It's been 4.5 for me and I still wake up shaking and crying with a racing heart every morning. It doesn't subside until about 45 mins later when my xanax has had a chance to kick in. In the beginning of the breakup I was always busy in the morning and planned it that way. But I started constantly cancelling those appointments because I was too upset to get out of bed so now I have nothing planned in the morning. OP: How long since you've been broken up? Link to comment
RecentlyAlone Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Mornings are the worst for me too, especially weekend mornings. During the week I head to work or go for a run if I'm up super early but weekends just feel so lonely! That's when it's the hardest for me Link to comment
jengh Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Mornings are definitely the worst... waking up to an empty bed, recalling the dreams you had about the ex from the night before (they would occur on an almost nightly basis for me)... I agree with everyone else--get up and be active. Run, go to the gym, whatever. For me, getting up and going to work (I worked a very fast paced kitchen job that didn't allow me to think even for a second about anything except how many damn honeydew I needed to cut) helped a lot. Link to comment
LP90 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 For those interested, my backstory is under the thread "please help me", we went through about 3-4 months of arguing over her new "friend", i went through a crazy amount of extreme anxiety and stress, cried over her, became clingy, etc. She kept saying she loves me and i was meant for her, we will work all our problems out, her heart belongs to me, etc etc, nothing but excuses and empty promises. We broke up june 2nd when i found out about her and her new friend doing not so "just friends" things, then we tried to reconcile and move on till june 10th (also our 2 year anniversary) i called and made it clear there is nothing left to think about and wait for, she either wants to be with me and will move on or she is stuck on him and doesnt know what to do in which case its over. So that was both our 2 year anniversary and our official date of breakup. I still have a low feeling during the day because i am so used to her texting me, calling, talking, knowing what shes doing, etc. Now whatever i do feels like something is missing and i thik of her. But mornings are definitely even worse because i think even deeper about it. Just want nothing more but to move on now. Link to comment
Meriem Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 It's totally normal to feel that way, don't try to suppress the pain, feel it then release it, whenever you feel it don't fight it, it's actually fighting and suffocating those feelins what makes us feel worse, and whenever you feel pain just always always keep in mind that this pain is necessary for you to feel better and for you to grief, and that you're feeling this pain to release all the hurt that was brought to you by the breakup, and each and everytime you feel hurt it COUNTS and it will bring you closer to feeling better overall, running away from my feelings and trying to suppress them as much as possible just made me feel worse and I was stuck in those feelings of heartache.. It won't always be like this, you're in a shifting phase, from being in a relationship to being single, it WILL drive you crazy but that's okay because in the end to feel totally okay about the past you'd have to release all the pain you felt. Link to comment
sadandalone Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I hope that I can get to where all of you are one day......but LP I am learning that it is a day by day process.....just live for the moment......and be happy with you....do what makes you feel good and don't worry about what the ex is doing.... I'm not there yet, but it is a learning process....it takes time...and PATIENCE!!... Hugs to you!! Link to comment
mrwebcam Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 2 months? I envy you. It's been 4.5 for me and I still wake up shaking and crying with a racing heart every morning. It doesn't subside until about 45 mins later when my xanax has had a chance to kick in. In the beginning of the breakup I was always busy in the morning and planned it that way. But I started constantly cancelling those appointments because I was too upset to get out of bed so now I have nothing planned in the morning. OP: How long since you've been broken up? I still have bad days here and there but i also got a second job working 60+ plus hours and i finally put myself in college at the age of 34 so now my time is so occupied with work and studies. I think about her yes but only when i have to send her money that i owe her,and of course she replies with a text message saying she is surprised and impressed. Rather her keep the message to herself, but least i getting strong enough everyday to where i don't have to reply. Link to comment
LP90 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Ive definitely been staying really busy and so far its been making life much better. Ive finally started to smile again, starting to eat full meals, enjoy my hobbies, feel relaxed and happy, which i havent for months now. So that alone is making it easier to move on, knowing i am better when im away from her. This is the first week after all, so im sure if all goes well and like it has been this week, i will be able to keep myself strong and together. Soon enough even the mornings wont be so difficult. I just know that i can thank all my healing to an amazing support system. I have amazing friends who are always there for me, parents who are always there and ENA, where i can come and vent and feel better. Its definitely a day by day process and must be taken one step and thought at a time. Only thing i need is time, and i have it. So let the healing continue. Link to comment
soru Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I'm feeling it right now. This horrible pain in my chest that seems incurable. Every morning my grief is just amplified to horrible levels that getting out of the bed is a difficult task. I wish I didn't care so much... Link to comment
BrokenM4n Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Hi All - i still wake up next the person I’m slowly and painfully splitting up with - it's unbelievably hard. I think I better make a post that i can refer back to. I’m on day 1 forever - think I’ll probably break down before long. Link to comment
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