delicous Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 Thank you, I do always look back at my previous threads and I see what you are saying, all my friends and family as well. I just have this feeling about him and I and am rolling with it. So far, so good. We have had some deep talks. He is treating me more like his wife than a girlfriend. He introduced me to some other friends he has and introduced me as his girlfriend. He has been giving me more attention than he use to. He even talked me about how he is willing to go no contact with his ex girlfriend. He told me he is going to make it happen. So. There are ups, I know people are angry and frustrated with our situation but dude. I don't know. I feel like I can let loose and be myself with him in every way. There is still stress in our relationship but we are trying our best to deal with it the adult way and talk about it. Im pretty confident in us and its not that Im walking on egg shells. Mushy text and too many calls is what ruined my last relationship. Its just too much checking in on eachother instead of just letting it be. You know?....So Yes I kindof am trying to change some for him and also for me. I feel like I need to do this, maybe later when we are more serious with eachother, we can ease back into the spark. But I do feel like we have a spark right now. Everytime we look at eachother, smiles, you know..touches...joking...just a lot... I don't know,, Im just going to do me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Hey-- yeah I do agree I didn't go no contact long enough...We are however back together which is what I wanted. He knows Im falling for him and he is not on the same page he does say he is into me a lot alot, but doesn't reciprocate the feelings I feel. Its hard to explain other than, I want it more than he does...I do care about him a lot and want him and I to work...Just about ready to give up if he isn't willing to start showing how he feels about me better...I seriously am tired, its been almost a yr of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Hey-- yeah I do agree I didn't go no contact long enough...We are however back together which is what I wanted. He knows Im falling for him and he is not on the same page he does say he is into me a lot alot, but doesn't reciprocate the feelings I feel. Its hard to explain other than, I want it more than he does...I do care about him a lot and want him and I to work...Just about ready to give up if he isn't willing to start showing how he feels about me better...I seriously am tired, its been almost a yr of this. I think that's what happens when you get back together after only 4 days NC. You should have said, "it's only been 4 days. If you still feel the same way in a few months, get back to me because I think we both need to figure out what we want." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Right, I should of, but now ive given him this ultimatum...I told him if we break up again its for good and theres no going back or even being friends.. Its now or never...How can I go from saying all of that to saying what you just said to say? There isn't a way to do it without jepordising..this is hard. Im falling for him but....I don't think he is even tho he says he likes me alot or whatever..then again, he also told me he doesn't say I love you...just usually does things to show it..he said, hes been like that for a while. Even his ex who lived with him, they said it once and not ever again..she said it first and he forced it out even though he didn't feel it, according to his story.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Right, I should of, but now ive given him this ultimatum...I told him if we break up again its for good and theres no going back or even being friends.. Its now or never...How can I go from saying all of that to saying what you just said to say? There isn't a way to do it without jepordising..this is hard. Im falling for him but....I don't think he is even tho he says he likes me alot or whatever..then again, he also told me he doesn't say I love you...just usually does things to show it..he said, hes been like that for a while. Even his ex who lived with him, they said it once and not ever again..she said it first and he forced it out even though he didn't feel it, according to his story.. It doesn't sound like he's all that into you. Sorry. I think that you should be the one to break things off. If your nagging isn't changing things, then by staying in the relationship you are still giving him the message that it's working for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 I guess I was just hopeing he'd turn out being sweeter than he actually is. He is very home bodied and use to doing his thing. He likes me being with him and never once hinted to me to go home or anything, but at the same time when we were together, hes playing video games or smoking weed...or ....we are having sex...just about wraps it up...I want more and yeah he's fun like when we go swimming he holds me and swims around with me in a romantic bf/gf way, like lots of kisses, touches, looks or whatever, but then.....Its like..I feel like its not enough... And sorry...I never nagged him, Ive been trying to keep my feelings to myself and just hope he catched on and ends up on the same page as me but it just doesnt seem to be happening naturally on its own...I think you're wrong when you say he's not into me, but I do think your right as far as, I REALLY should of told him to hit me up in a few months if he still feels the same..But its too late...the only thing I can do is back off even more than I did and still remaine together, if thats even possible.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 I guess I was just hopeing he'd turn out being sweeter than he actually is. He is very home bodied and use to doing his thing. He likes me being with him and never once hinted to me to go home or anything, but at the same time when we were together, hes playing video games or smoking weed...or ....we are having sex...just about wraps it up...I want more and yeah he's fun like when we go swimming he holds me and swims around with me in a romantic bf/gf way, like lots of kisses, touches, looks or whatever, but then.....Its like..I feel like its not enough... It sounds like he tolerates you, but is not so much in love with you. If he isn't matching up to what you want in a boyfriend, then that's reason enough to end things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 I hear you...Its kind of harsh useing the word "tolerate" after almost a year of being with hiim....But I agree he's definetly not in love..He isn't matching up, you are right, I guess I was just trying to be patient and hope for him to come around...it had been a long time though..I am not wanting to have "the talk" but at the same time I feel like there are men out there who will treat me with a lot more love and respect and time and actually WANT to see a future with me ...Its like, I know they are out there but I just keep going with the familiar ....or deep down inside have a lot of self denial and really really want mother nature to wake him up and make him realize im what he needs...its just not happening though...=( tear...tear I seriously can't help but feel really sad inside about this because we had it and because both him and I couldn't let go of eachother everything is effed up!...It feels really sickening in my gut to feel these feelings and him not be the one for me...I want to be able to settle down and have a family sometime n the future but its like i wasted a yr of my life with someone who isn't even on the same level even though he said hedid...how the heck am I going to be able to trust anyone after this?.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Well, you've wasted one year with him - so where do you want to be in another year or two? In the same position or either happily single or in a relationship? That is your choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 I don't know, its hard to answer because of the feelings I have for him.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I don't know, its hard to answer because of the feelings I have for him.. In time those feelings will fade away and you will realise that you deserve better. Which is another reason why you need to go NC. To figure out what YOU want in a partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 Ah its so hard to bring up again...We were trying to just start on a clean slate...with the ex in the picture still, its just messed up still, shes never going to be out of the picture. She told him she doesnt want to be friends but they are still, so....I don't get it...He told me hed try to get her faded out of the picture and he care about me and what I feel and whatever....But then....ahhh I don't know man, this is tough to end...I don't want to end it but I do. I want someone new but I want him still...Im all sourts of confused with what to do.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Im so done with him.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Your boyfriend/ex has 100% control over whether his ex is in the picture or not. I know that if I reconciled with someone that was supposed to be with love of my life, I would do whatever it took to make things work, and without a second thought, I would cut things off with my ex because I wouldn't need anyone else except for my current partner. It sounds like he is not committed to you, if he isn't outright cheating on you, that is. You made the right decision. Go hardcore NC and in time your self esteem will improve. The more time you waste on this guy, the less chance there is of you meeting someone that DOES want to be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Im so done with him.. What happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Its too personal and id be identified if I said what happened...but...yeah im just done..You are right...and I did text him about 8x and left like 2 vms telling him its over...he hasnt called/text so i assume he doesn't give two s**ts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dramallama Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Ok well. I hope you block him. Time for a clean start. You can do it. Give NC a chance to work its magic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawks1287 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Delicous, you did try. We know you loved him and gave it another shot. Even though there was the emotional distance game playing the beginning..WHICH IS NOT A BAD THING REALLY, you did try and give it another go. Clearly it just did not work out. You know he got the message and if he did care, then he would have messaged you at some point already...not completely ignore it. He may have had this "ex" on the back up since you did break up with him once before and he just couldn't trust that it wouldn't happen again. Like DRAMA says, and this is important for your situation...please go NC...it will do you wonders. Good luck and I am proud you sifted and filtered through to the reality of the situation and had the realization it just wasn't working and that you want something better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Thanks guys, yeah its hard to just let go, but obviously like both u said, he would of called or texted me back if he gave a care in the world. You are prob right though, he prob was keeping her on the backburner, which is sickening, but it is what it is. im trying so hard not to contact him, i sent a txt lastnight about a song i was listening to that reminded of him, but thats it...i need to STOPPPP!...K so its starting today...I called today but i didn't let it ring, i hung up...Its hard not get a closure of any sourt from him but obviously i mean nothing to him... Nc will not work its magic this time, him and I clearly are not meant for eachother=( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakeItCount Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Its too personal and id be identified if I said what happened...but...yeah im just done..You are right...and I did text him about 8x and left like 2 vms telling him its over...he hasnt called/text so i assume he doesn't give two s**ts You are still being needy. One vm wouldve done trick, 8 texts weren't needed. Move on from this guy, and please stay single for some time to really gain perspective on yourself and your past relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawks1287 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Just start packing away items that reminded you of him, and of course delete his number off your phone and remove any emails and facebook. Makeitcount is right. You want to hear his voice and feel justified in your decision. You want him to be phased not being with you. But when he rejects your calls then you feel rejected and broken up with. This is a pretty textbook situation and one to learn from. You know what to do Delicous, just make a plan and stick to it and of course NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 He texted me today, I replied back...He told me I told him to go die in a car accident and I told him hes a pos like 5x...he would never wish death on me...I told him I do not remember some of what I said and am very sorry, i was very drunk, he told me I do this a lot and I need to be careful drinking, doesnt want anything bad to happen to me...I did kindof break the nc by texted him lastnight and asking for my things back....I told him i care for him deeply, sent him a few pics of me recently and he told me I am beautiful and called me darling so Im assuming hes let this weekend mow over some. I do KNOW it is not right for me to be breaking NC again! But I just couldn't help myself...I care too much and am still very weak, i supose.I deleted his number and re added it a day later...Cant think of anyone else "man wise" then him...I think its a good idea to step back and be friends possibly----then maybe later down the road, Months from now, see if he wants me back as more than friends...But at the same time, I need to keep my options open, I do understand... This is so tough!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 I did get super super drunk that night and I could of very well said some of the things hes telling me. I do remember telling him he is a cheating POS...but I don't remember wishing death on him...I read what I wrote the next day through text and deleted the whole column, i couldn't believe some of the things I said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakeItCount Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 So, you ever going to take our advice, forget about this guy, and deal with your own issues? Or you just going to self-destruct? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delicous Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 Im trying to take your advise, its tough though...For me, its hard to get him off my mind--- I got a new job and have been doing good with my girlfriends and just being single, just every night and morning hes on my mind...=/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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