angiett Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 it must be really hard if you have these impulses on top of dealing with the break up, but i think you need to understand that we all feel like this about having huge urges to contact the exes, its not just something that you are feeling because of your ts. its the same for all of us, the more you tell yourself you are not allowed to contact someone the more you feel like you HAVE to do it and you cant think of anything but the fact that you want to contact them and you start obsessing and it takes over your life like you are describing. its wanting what you can't have, its human nature. you need to realise your obsessing about her is not actually really about her sometimes, sometimes it is because you know you can't have her that makes you want it so much. there are lots of people in the same boat as you experiencing these exact feelings and urges including myself, the only thing that will help is not contacting as every time you do you will end up at the start. far better to come on here and message people who understand and can support you through this very difficult time. you need to start thinking positive thoughts and telling yourself you WILL get through this and repeating out loud to yourself 'I am fine, I will be fine'. You could even write post it notes and stick them up round your house telling yourself 'I am loveable' 'I deserve to be loved by someone who loves me the same'. It sounds silly but it does help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deavyin Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 Whenever i do become super depressed and my thoughts start racing i stop myself and say " you'll get over this. You did before and it was way worse than this". It helps to know its the truth. I have a weird personality when it comes to this stuff. I used to be a huge gamer but i never did it competitively because i would get too frustrated when i lost. Its the same reason i dont gam le...i hate losing. Its also why i dont try hard going after girls...i dont like rejection. Its something i need to work on. Not everything is going to go the way you want it to and that is ok. You arent always going to be with the person you want to be with. Even now i know ill get over this. Idont hold resentment for my big ex. Hell i told her id be down to meet up for a beer sometime if she wanted to...there are no feelings there and we were engaged and she left for my best friend. F it..it doesnt bother me anymore. I am strong enough to get over this it just takes me a little linger and its not at all easy that i see her daily...not at all but im coping. Ive been on ena a lot less than before and im getting a lot of work done. Im sleeping way better and the last couple of days i have woken up at 8:30 and still been tired. For the past couple of monthsi had been waking up at 4 wide awake. Sorry about the grammar and spelling of this post..i am typing it on my phone. I really do appreciate everyone here...this has been a great place for me to air my craziness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deavyin Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 When i say i have been on ena less i mean in the sense that im not reading every single post looking for "the answer". My phone lets me know when i get a response to my thread and as you can probably guess by the quickness of my replies and the lengths of my posts that im an incredibly fast typer. I also tend to just spew my thoughts with little to no proof reading. Externally im very very very very laid back...internally i am wound up so tight all the time. Thats why i have so much anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny77 Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Na man, You did the right thing due to your older posts. You were one of the first persons I posted on and your pain has been brutal! Not everyone gets the chance to just ignore them. You are using your surroundings to help you and utilizing technology to your advantage. Best move you've done in the last two months! Bravo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishgerry Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Yeah man you'll feel better for it in the long run! I have to go in to a meeting tomorrow with my ex with the MD about the website. Havent seen her properly in over 3 weeks so I know it will be tough! Im pretty good at acting all happy, hiding emotions etc so just going to get on with it! Never again am I getting with someone I work with! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angiett Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 well you definitely sound alot more positive, its good that you're sleeping better, it definitely means you're on the mend!!! no-one likes rejection but you can't take it personally because it isn't about you it's just the way your life is meant to go. treat yourself to something new it will make you feel good, try a massage to release some of your tension and anxiety, maybe? it does help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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