reidqa Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 Firecracker, Again wisdom prevails. Yes, a court has to approve. As inlaws stated "we knew somehow they was going to be fine". 30 yrs alter in hindsight wonderful memories and fun that cemented us as a life to death couple. Why heck even our honeymoon was fun as trying to leave country with a minor (I am latin she is white). Now when the marriage certificate came out it was funnier the expression. There was a time in a fancy eatery a couple was staring at us, my wife grabbed me and gave me a french kiss. The woman almost fainted and man heart attack. I guess those memories has made us a couple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 9, 2011 Author Share Posted June 9, 2011 Please drop it, as this is an issue that should not be in light of the pain with couples here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capilot Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 in 1981 I was 11. No 15 year olds were marrying 30 year olds. That's sick, really. A friend of mine was married at 14 to a considerably older man back in the 70's in New York. It required parental permission, but it could be done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jengh Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I don't see why so many people are harping on the age thing. Maybe it's not "right", but has nothing to do with his story. Casting stones is not helpful. They've been marrried for 30 years, more than most married couples can say considering today's divorce rate. OP, sorry about your first wife. What a nightmare, and a shame she brought her child down with her. Some people... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 OP: Did you walk out on your child (in first marriage)? I'm just curious because you say the child went the same way as the mother. Did you have no part in helping raise that child and if you saw how dysfunctional the wife was, why did you not take the child out of that situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Capricorn, Had to break all contact, read below. Things were approaching violence yes could have stayed most likely become a wife beater and abuser. I could have stayed in contact but most likely would have ended violently "aka very violent". I warn and warn and warn be careful of wanting the truth post D day. I had the most graphical details of the night, colabrated by her and others. As a male put yourself in the light of this, your ex is placed into an animal situation and loving it. I wonder how many cheaters here have done such in my 30 yrs hence less than .0001%. Counselor you must break all ties immediately you are mentally degrading to a state of criminal intent. Your signature rings of this "Our life is the creation of our mind", This would have ended bad. So in hindsight it came out the best it could have in the light presented. 1.9 yr mark counselor is running out of idea’s even approaches radical therapy of us going to swingers club to see her taken by many men as way of flushing out images. My ew is willing to go this route, but I am not as now the images are feeding my life. Things now are on a downward spiral violence is coming windows, chairs, walls and car destroyed in fits of rage (long stopped medication). 2.3 yr mark one session broke his table with fist that was to be the red light. Its time my friend for you to leave, there is no more that can be done. He calls my EW in for separate session she comes home wife as ghost and tearful. There was no more counseling. 2.4 yr mark ew trips and falls down entire flight of stairs. I break out in hysterical laughter. I think to this day if she would have died would have laughed just as hard. I announce leaving the family. Her reaction leave day: I hate you, never want to see you again, hope you die, I will kill myself and then the breaking of dishes mirrors etc. Next day I leave the family unit, 1 week later certified mail comes divorce papers no contest, no child support nothing its simply sign and return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Capricorn, This poor woman for 5 yrs lived in torment, no doubt her imagery as intense as mine was. 5 yrs then the explosion to end the pain. link removed Again a price must always be paid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 This site is a great one for insights and information. I would have been this husband in short time or worse to this wife to whom cheated. He was a good man before infidelity she stated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stillstunned Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I'm not reading anything that excuses you abandoning your daughter. You can hate the mother all you want but that was your child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Stunned so in your eye possible murder would be acceptable to maintain the relationship. I was beyonf hate, please read then reread my story post. Even my counselor was concerned, and literally ended the sessions. See remember 30 yrs hence has passed. I could see visitation, court etc then seeing her (ex) and then any issue may have ignited an event that there would be 2 gone one deceased and one prison. So this would be a good outcome. BTW, she literally ex ran with no contestment whatsoever she had seen my eyes the day she fell down the stairs. It ended as a good thing. My ex infidelity was not the norm, once again read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stillstunned Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Stunned so in your eye possible murder would be acceptable to maintain the relationship. I was beyonf hate, please read then reread my story post. Even my counselor was concerned, and literally ended the sessions. See remember 30 yrs hence has passed. I could see visitation, court etc then seeing her (ex) and then any issue may have ignited an event that there would be 2 gone one deceased and one prison. So this would be a good outcome. My ex infidelity was not the norm, once again read. I've read your story several times. Your wife was a pig, no doubt. But really, abandoning your child because you thought seeing her for 5 minutes at a time while you picked up your daughter was more than you could handle? That's your child and you left her like a bag of garbage. There's no excuse. I don't care what your wife did or was doing. You don't willingly abandon your child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIzardKing Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Yea stillstunned makes a good point. It seems like you are just making excuses on why you abandoned your daughter. Your ex seems like a nightmare. But you brought a child into this world. You have a responsibility to be a part of her life. I actually feel really sorry for your daughter. Having to grow up with your ex as her parental figure. Wow no surprise she has turned out the way she did. You dont feel any responsibility for this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Wow posters you really do not see it. No ex was not a nightmare, it was a one nighter. There was no affair of dates etc. The stories as collabrated she had been lowered into an animal status that night literally. I have been so damaged murder was a very possible thing. I literally could not be near her. Yes picking her up may have ended up with a bullet in the ex. We already covered this I could see the ex contacting me, the precursors igniting into an event. Wow indeed as counselor stated you are not the norm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIzardKing Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Why have you killed before? All this crap about murder. Your wife cheated on you. It happems to people everyday. Im sorry that had to happen to you. But all I hear in your posts is I, I , I all about you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 I grew up in the ghetto of NYC, will take the 5th. And so does extreme hate do a murder/affair news search each day. Why it happens each day. Good decison 30 yrs later, no regrets and no pain. Some got to win, some got to lost, good time charlie got the blues-song many years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIzardKing Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Many people grow up in the ghetto and dont commit murder. Trust me im from NY and have friends that grew up in tough neighborhoods. I guess you are missing my point. You are just rambling at this point anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Lizard, Well it ended good. Lizard, BTW, I do not being trolled -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Join Date Mar 2011 Posts 41 Yea im pretty sure its illegal for an adult to have sex with a 15 year old where I live. Do you want the law per the books from NYC I wil glady post it. But I will give you one bit of amazing insight. That little girl put my heart beack together again, slayed my demons and made my life worth living again. Speak about miracles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIzardKing Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Na I dont want the law books for NYC. I think you are just a perv to be honest. I just feel sorry for everyone that was involved except you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Lizard, Different strokes for different folks. Perversions not protected by law. Just an FYI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I'm not reading anything that excuses you abandoning your daughter. You can hate the mother all you want but that was your child I've read your story several times. Your wife was a pig, no doubt. But really, abandoning your child because you thought seeing her for 5 minutes at a time while you picked up your daughter was more than you could handle? That's your child and you left her like a bag of garbage. There's no excuse. I don't care what your wife did or was doing. You don't willingly abandon your child. ^^ THIS. I agree 100%. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Never choose, abuse until you have walked in my shoes. I have no regrets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamarthe Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Giving up on your own flesh and blood? Incomprehensible no matter what. Now - so many years on, don't you regret not knowing your child? Don't you feel anything for your own flesh and blood? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 So possible murder of EW is logical to you. No doubt it would have occurred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reidqa Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 Literally could not be within a mile of EW, even today the seething hate exists but tempered with today love. Read the following carefully, my counselor knew a meltdown was occurring. We attend individual and married couple ones. The counselor sends me to MD for antidepressants he states you must work on repair and love. This is attempted for 9 months as I get close to opening the heart the image of her being taken into bedroom over and over again returns only to engulf the soul. 1.9 yr mark counselor is running out of idea’s even approaches radical therapy of us going to swingers club to see her taken by many men as way of flushing out images. My ew is willing to go this route, but I am not as now the images are feeding my life. Things now are on a downward spiral violence is coming windows, chairs, walls and car destroyed in fits of rage (long stopped medication). 2.3 yr mark one session broke his table with fist that was to be the red light. Its time my friend for you to leave, there is no more that can be done. He calls my EW in for separate session she comes home wife as ghost and tearful. There was no more counseling. 2.4 yr mark ew trips and falls down entire flight of stairs. I break out in hysterical laughter. I think to this day if she would have died would have laughed just as hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightLily Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Have you ever considered anger management classes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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