Has anyone been in a relationship where you one partner got confused?

[rach213]

Just wondering if anyone has been in a relationship where the other partner got confused and didnt know what they wanted?

 

What were they confused about and did you sort things out in the end?

[WildHorse]

My ex was "confused." We dated for three months until he got confused about his feelings for me. He loved my company, but wasn't IN love with me. He felt like we lost the spark, so we broke up, but stayed in close contact. Four months later, we both miss each other terribly, so we get back together, although he is still "confused" about whether or not I'm the one. The whole time we were together the second time, he was flirting with girls on Facebook, so I helped his "confusion" by narrowing things down for him and breaking it off for good.

 

In my experience, being confused means that there is a conscious lack of committment, and an exclusive relationship can't work when that's the case. Personally, I've never been confused about the person I've chosen to be exclusive with. It's black & white-- I'm either into them, good qualities and bad, or I'm not.

[TakingtheBlame]

In my experience, being confused means that there is a conscious lack of committment, and an exclusive relationship can't work when that's the case. Personally, I've never been confused about the person I've chosen to be exclusive with. It's black & white-- I'm either into them, good qualities and bad, or I'm not.

 

+1 for this. I have had an ex say he was confused and that he couldn't be with me the way I wanted (serious long term commitment.) We broke up, but he came back a few months later insinuating we could be intimate if I wasn't having much luck dating these days (yeah right.) I said no and that I was worth more than some FWB; a few months later he started "dating" another girl who, by all accounts, he is still stringing along while saying he's "confused." As far as I can tell he considers her a long term booty call.

 

Confused is just another way of saying "I'm just not that into you" for whatever reason. Could be personal or psychological issues that keep the person from being committed to anyone at the moment, or could be you're not the one for him but he wants someone around until he finds the right person. But as WildHorse says, if you've got all your mental and emotional ducks in a row and you're with the right person, it's pretty black and white. Nothing to be confused about.

[Stay_home]

She's confused about what she wants:

 

*She wants to leave the country for work and live overseas, travel around the world for a couple of years and THEN, she wants to settle down and have a relationship. At the moment, she's stated she can't make any guarantees about our relationship because she's not sure whether 1) she'll find an opportunity like that 2) what the opportunity will be.

 

*At the same time, she wants to be with me and knows that if she takes a position like that that we'll have to separate and that's not what she wants in the end.

 

We haven't quite resolved the issue as of yet, but because of the level of uncertainty on her behalf and the rockiness of the relationship as we're on standby waiting to see what kind of job she'll get and whether she'll take it and leave, I'm considering pulling the plug. I don't expect her to know what kind of job she'll take, but I expect her to at least know for sure that she's not planning to cut out and run someday. If so, then she's not ready to make a committment and she needs to pursue her dream and THEN consider having a relationship when she can stop saying, "ME" so much.

[zaza34]

When your partner says he/she doesn t know what he/she wants or he/she is confused it means one thing he/she doesn t want you, so that should be enough for you to move on... I had an ex who just kept saying he doesn t know what he wanted, that he was messed up bla-bla, sure, I thought that everybody can be confused, we all have problems, we all have our doubts, but I tried to be there for him, try to show my love etc... still wasn t enough for him, so I learned that when a guy says he doesn t know what he wants, he is just trying to say in a "polite" way he doesn t want me...

[Pitachu]

When your partner says he/she doesn t know what he/she wants or he/she is confused it means one thing he/she doesn t want you

Thats very subjective answer based on your hurtful experience, but it doesn't necessarily mean "polite break up" (imo it rarely does mean that)

It can be anything really, but i'd say this person is having emotional struggles and doesn't feel safe enough to share their problem with you. Try to get him/her to talk about it but make sure your reaction won't make things worst if you care about this relationship. He/she is having issue, so don't react subjective. It's not your problem after all.

And yes as long as you two want to, it can work out great.

best of luck ~

[rach213]

I agree with Pitachu.... if someone says there confused it doesnt always mean they dont want you. People have moments all the time where they get confused and need some space, it reality of life

[lana111]

my last ex was. said half the time he thought i was the one. half the time he wasnt so sure. so we broke it off. months later he realized i was the one, but it was too late.