rach213 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Ive been with my bf for 4 months but have known him longer and we work in the same company. About a week ago he suddenly went really distant as if he didnt want to be bothered with anyone and this distance extended to me. I asked him if he was ok last week and he said he was but still continued with this odd behaviour, this odd mood has happened before but to a lesser extent. This just seems to be dragging on and at the moment we dont really seem to be communicating at all. I did speak to him last night on the phone and it was like hes half there but half isnt. I asked him again if everything was ok and he assured me it was so in the end i had to drop the subject. He was also telling me about what he got upto at the weekend i know he had plans on sat for a friends birthday and he said he never went to the friends birthday as he just couldnt be bothered... instead he opted for a friends house and just chilld out there. I cant think of anything ive done that might have upset him.. and surely if he wanted to end things he would just say as hes a very honest person. The only thing i can think of is that maybe hes a bit depressed about something? Please can I have some advice and also how do i play it... do i leave him to it or keep the communication lines open ? thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lastcall23 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I've recently been through the same situation with a guy I was seeing for about 6 months. I let him be because I thought the same thing, that he was just depressed or had other things on his mind. In the end I let it go for about three weeks and as those weeks passed the communication got less and less and I felt even more distant from him than before. I couldn't take it anymore and confronted him about it and we talked everything out. I think the best thing to do is just confront him. Tell him your feeling like hes distancing you. If hes honest, he will come right out and say it. Don't just ask him if somethings wrong with him because if its something he doesn't want to open up about yet, he won't and he will eventually start to feel like your nagging him. I think by just simply telling him how you've been feeling about him being distant will make him open his eyes a little to something he may not have even realized he's been doing and the problem can correct itself. Otherwise, leaving it as is, can leave you barely speaking to him anymore or having that open line of communication which I personally feel is one of the most important part of a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rach213 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 Hi, yes your right I do need to speak to him, hes just acting so odd. What was rong with your bf, was he depressed and exhibiting the same behaviour as my bf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lastcall23 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 He was depressed. He has been trying to get his dream job for about 6 months now and hes gone through all of the tests and interviews but hasn't heard anything back and he was just getting really down on himself because of it. I knew he wasn't meaning to take it out on me but because he was so wrapped up in thinking about it and upset over it, he took it out on me and everyone around him. Once I confronted him he immediately realized what he was doing and how it made me feel and changed it. I also told him that when hes feeling down like that, not to keep it in because it only makes it worse and he needs to communicate with me or we will never work. Everything got much better after that =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.