Ritz Maidge Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Ok, so a couple of weeks ago I went out to a bar with one of my guy friends - we'll call jim Joe. It was there that he introduced me to two of his friends, who we'll call Ashley & David. Ashley and I quickly hit it off and we're on the basis of talking everyday. She seems like she's going to be a good friend. David and I got along, and we talked there, and a bit afterwards. He said he wanted to get to know me. I am attracted, and from what Ashley said, it seems he could be attracted to me. So I became "friends" with both of them on the same day, essentially. Here's the deal: Ashley is in love with David. She has been for a year. She knows, however, that they won't be an item. David has told her time and time again, but she just won't let go. David and Ashley told me that the two of them would never be a couple, they're just friends. Joe, my friend, has a crush on both me and Ashley - but neither of us like Joe as more than a friend. Ashley has told me several times to go for David, because the two of them will never be. But... I know girls say that, and often do not mean it at all. They're still hurt. So if anything were to happen between David and I, people will get hurt. Ashley and Joe will both be hurt. So I'm really not sure how to handle this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxPayne19 Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Well you really don't know Ashley all to well since you just me her. I would say give things a try with David. You can't hold back your desires in fear of hurting someone elses feelings. She even told you it was ok, and she may very well be fine with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDress Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 David kind of sounds like poison in this situation. It sounds like you have a great thing going with Joe and Ashley. Why would you want to jeapordize that? There are a billion people to date. Why not pick someone else? In fact... it seems like you can go out with Joe and Ashley and meet a TON of people. Are you really THAT hung up on David? All you really said that you are "attracted". Now to go completely against what I just said, in terms of etiquette - you got the go-ahead from Ashley and I presume Joe knows what the deal is, which means you are in the clear. I dunno... I prioritize friendships over possible romance. Personally, I wouldn't do it unless I felt overwhelmingly for David. In which case, I'd simply be really honest and let Joe/Ashley in on what I was thinking, allow them to express their feelings, etc. I wouldn't do it, but ethically, IMO, you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 There's no rules, but I'd leave it if you value the friendship more.. I mean, why create more hurt just for an attractive guy? There are pleeeeeenty of those else where. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 That would be one big mess, which I'd stay out of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambiguous X Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Go for it. Statistically speaking you won't remain close friends with all 3 over a long enough timeline so be who you want to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted April 30, 2011 Share Posted April 30, 2011 Decide which you might value the most in the long run - the friendships or the romance and go for the one that means the most to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritz Maidge Posted April 30, 2011 Author Share Posted April 30, 2011 Well yes, "attraction" is all I have at this point. I want to get to know David better, and he said that night he wanted to get to know me better. However, I think we both have 'obstacles' standing in our way - Joe and Ashley. He knows Joe likes me, and I know Ashley likes him. So if we were to even hang out with each other and try to get to know each other, it wouldn't really be fair to the other two involved. I'm honestly not that close with Joe. We talk, and we've been friends for about seven months, but he has wanted us to be "dating" the entire time - though I've told him time and time again I don't see him that way. Honestly, I'm scared to even reach out and try talking to David. We exchanged phone numbers, but... we don't really talk. I'm scared to text him, for the fear of how Ashley may react. And I think he may be the same way, for the fear of being on bad terms with Joe. What do I value most in the long run? I don't know just yet. I would love to keep Ashley as a friend... but I would also like to get to know David better, and see if there's anything there, without it being awkward for everybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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