Pirandello Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Same for me, she initiated interest and ended it. I am starting to doubt online dating, it feels like a car rental system. It's hard to have a long lasting relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resilient Posted April 3, 2011 Author Share Posted April 3, 2011 Same for me, she initiated interest and ended it. I am starting to doubt online dating, it feels like a car rental system. It's hard to have a long lasting relationship. exactly man, we must have been on rental, but we paid the rent instead, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuesdays Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 According to the limited information you provided, be grateful that you are even given some sort of closure. Most people do not receive any...Analyzing will drive anyone nuts. Bottom line: respect her decision b/c she obviously thought it through. I've been the dumpee but just recently, my ex bf dumped me for no good reason. But that was his reason, his conclusion, and accepting it has given me more closure than if he would've emailed me some drawn out list of reasons. B/c I would've disagreed, not accepted it, nor would I have even believe those reasons. So acceptance of the relationship ending is the way to truly move on. I know, it's difficult, not fair, and quite hard to comprehend. I hope you the best b/c I've been there and believe me when I tell you that, only with TIME, will you have some perspective on the whole thing. Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirandello Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Online dating has worked for thousands if not millions of people including myself. It's just another way to meet people, nothing less, nothing more. i still have doubts... there is a lot of mind games going on... for instance, you can meet someone and they will hide their profile instead of deleting it, and they might go online while you are sleeping and keep you as backup until they meet someone better... you understand what i mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resilient Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Thank you Tuesdays for your best wishes, I wish you the same Lately I read a book titled 'WHY' it describes the reasons why people give reasons. the book is writted by Charles Tilly. The conculsion of the book is summarized as follows: I have some other notes on the subject, if somebody is interested, I will post it here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resilient Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 i still have doubts... there is a lot of mind games going on... for instance, you can meet someone and they will hide their profile instead of deleting it, and they might go online while you are sleeping and keep you as backup until they meet someone better... you understand what i mean? I agree with you Pirandello that online dating is tricky, for example notice what she said here: cloudysky: 23 Oct 2010 let's not take these profiles too seriously.. I found out later, that in her profile she claimed different religon and posted her age 2 year younger i.e. 37 yrs instead of 39 yrs, she said she was skinny whereas I found out she was maintaining a severe and costly diet and she was not naturally skinny... it was more marriage inclined dating site even though she admitted later she was there for fun... those were enough red flags for me but because I loved her and still do, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. the point is if she didn't post false information in the first place i wouldn't have started the conversation or even replied to her expression of interest. in online dating, you tend to connect with the other person on intellectual level before you connect with them on physical level. this formula can change after couple of few meetings. so it depends on what is important for you and what is important for the other person. sometimes you would believe to intellectual connectness is more important than the physical one (to certain limit) but after few months of being together you realize physical attachment and other factors (particularly financial from the girl's side) are very important to maintain interest. those issues can be identified more easily and at an early stage in face to face meetings before getting emotionally invovled. so yeah dating sites are tricky depending on what's your purpose of being there i.e. just for fun or for serious committment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirandello Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Exactly, you don't know what their agenda is and if they are serious or not and you want to trust them but at same time you don't want to get tricked. You have to trust your gut feelings and don't ignore the red flags. My ex made me write down future goals for us to do together. I wish she would not have done that because it made the break up hurt more, it made me feel like I failed and will always wonder what it could have been if we succeeded together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pirandello Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Tuesdays, did you write a closure e-mail to your ex? Or you just did no contact and never spoke again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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