fallingisfun Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Engulfed in a sinister cloud Of perhaps heaven sent misery A cumulous nimbus encouraging internal versus external conflict Lying upright in the field of dreams Pondering, exploring this still "life" Grass blades laughing in the wind While into the depths I climb The progress memo sprouted wings Along with the instruction manual And these would be very useful seeing as Everything is so trivial, and controversial As the field shifts to a concrete playground Where knowledge is partial and flirting painful I see no monkey bars in this zoo, just monkeys Yes, monkeys, numbered one, then two Struggle, inner or outer, characters Stumbling through the pitter and patter Read of course from left to right Turn the pages, one at a time, or you might miss an important part of the plot The setting, or beginning, or ending, or not Is there a test? This seems like a lot Who's holding the pen, oh my God!!! Its me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neva_black_n_white Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 I reiked your poem, i dont know if i took it the right way but what in my eyes you were trying to show is.. that the world and everything within it is left for each and every one of us to experiance, to make our own experiances and gain from them, i mean we all own our lives and we all choose our actions and what you seem to be portraying is how each and every one of us folow these rules, do different things in life that are exact to others, a teaching that none of us new where we got it (well we do but why did one person set a rule and another follow)...for example you speak about reading and not wanting to miss something out, but in reality the world in itself doesnt make you miss things out but instead offers different oppotunities...so i guess what you mean by whos holding the pen...me your trying to show that we have control, why be numbered up and confined when the world has many more exsilerating experiances. still thats just me and i read into a lot more just didnt want to bore people too much. kel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_hate_the_world47 Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 That was a very good poem.It as written well and was full of emotion.Good job. ~Meagan~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fallingisfun Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 Thanks guys. Neva_black_and_white, I'd say that you summed up my poem very well. Thank you for taking the time to see what I was trying to portray in this poem. I really appreciate it, thanks a lot. Missy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stinkweed Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Very well written. It's a very abstract world, like most of us posses in our minds, lol. Great job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fallingisfun Posted August 4, 2004 Author Share Posted August 4, 2004 Thanks everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neva_black_n_white Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Your welcome, i mean youve deffinitley got a way with words, i know i enjoyed reading it! thanks for sharing anyway. kel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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