Intelligent, alone and depressed

[Existential]

Hey, thanks for your reply. I think I should clarify my point a tad. It's not that I'm looking for clones of myself, or people I consider perfect. What bothers me is when people have no dedication to truth, reality, and what comes with that. The reason isn't because I just can't handle "stupid" people, it's because it bites me in the ass at the end. These people don't have their stuff together, they're immature, and their view on life is so naive that I end up getting the crap end by caring about them until it's me their incorrectly or unfairly treating.

 

I enjoy people of all types. But if they simply don't understand how and why I act, then there will never be any relationship to speak of, beyond a very superficial one.

 

Sometimes I need to rely on somebody. When the world is against me, and I'm in the middle of a hard court case or a difficult relationship problem- I need somebody to rely on who doesn't just give "well, if everybody disagrees with you, maybe you're wrong" as advice.

 

I'm afraid my emotional honesty has quickly labeled me as pretentious in this thread. This is truly not the case.

[velvette]

I think I understand. and yet, I still see it as you pushing you friends away any moment their 'maturity' doesn't match up to your expectations. people screw up. like your friend of 7 years, perhaps he didn't understand. obviously you guys got along, or you wouldn't have been friends for 7 years! can't you talk to him, explain yourself more? that you expect him to stick by you, as a 'best' friend. sometimes you need to lose a bit of dignity, even if you were not 'wrong', since life isn't about being 'right' or 'wrong'. I'd rather be a bit undignified than lose a friend forever. there must have been qualities in him worth keeping around. (you also say he was 'changing' anyway, so I don't know)

 

in the end I really think the only person you can rely on is yourself. you are the only one who is even capable of never disappointing yourself, since you make all the choices and you know all your rules. and EVERYONE is selfish. that's only normal and, I think, right.

 

and hey, I'm guilty of the same thing myself. as a teen I would cut out people who lied to me or wronged me (according to what I think a 'friend' should act like), and I would NEVER even consider befriending a religious person (even if they weren't particularly religious. even if they just hinted at thinking 'oh something must've created us'). I looked at them with a feeling close to contempt or pity, 'knowing' I knew better than them. it's only recently that I've realized I ought to re-examine myself. it's not all THOSE people who are wrong, but rather me thinking I know more than I really do. because honestly, what DO we know? I'm not a scientist; sure I've read a lot of science books and they make sense to me, but I've never personally conducted those experiments. all our 5 senses can be fooled, and in the end we die anyway.

 

what is more important to you? absolute truth, or happiness? while you may feel superior choosing absolute truth, it's no fun being isolated. I used to believe truth was the most important thing. even though there may be no universal truth, I still wanted to get as close to truth as I could. I've since taken on a new approach; they can believe what they want, and I'll believe what I want. we can all do whatever we want as long as it doesn't hurt others. there's still lots of topics to converse about besides religion and philosophy. I probably still would never date or be 'best' friends with someone who was religious and/or lied to me, but otherwise I'm happy being friends with someone who doesn't seek the truth, even if it's not absolutely fulfilling all of the time. it may very well be a 'superficial' friendship (since they don't intimately know me, or care to), but I benefit from it regardless.

 

I don't think you're pretentious. you ARE as valuable as you think you are. but if you want someone to accept you for who you are, you need to be able to accept them for who they are too. even if this doesn't always please you. consider joining mensa. at the very least, you would not feel so stranded.

[Tryptophan]

No one is too intelligent to talk to someone. There's a lot of intelligent people out there who are extremely outgoing, and can talk to anybody about anything. It's not all about your IQ but your EQ . Maybe you just have a limited set of interests. I think a great way to meet people who are interested in Philosophy are maybe Philosophy courses? Don't know if you're grad or undergrad but either way, you can always do independent study, which usually means they're taking the courses purely out of interest. I always see flyers about meetings for "debates" regarding Philosophy at my university. Also, if you truly feel "alone" then maybe you should be a little more open-minded about the things you are willing want to talk about?

 

You also need to let your guard down. "They don't have a problem liking me. I don't like them". If you have that attitude every time you talk to someone then you probably won't find somebody you like. You have to give people a chance, not everyone just jumps in and starts talking about Existentialism, Determinism, etc. Remember the first talks are usually more on the casual side.

[John Cage]

Yeah, John I'll be honest. Faking it is another way of saying "not connecting."

 

Of course I can get people to like me. I just don't like them.

 

So let's analyze this... Are you really sad because you can't find anyone you like? No.

 

Are you content to be alone? If not, why not get people to like you? Being logical means that ability to see things for what it is; the bare bone of it.

 

Lay out all the possible outcomes of your actions, choose the one with the most favorable outcome... That's all. The question you need to ask is that would you be happier if A and B likes you even if A and B are not your kind of people. If so, then get them to be your friend; if not, then why are you complaining? You should be glad those "idiots" are not your friends.

 

Btw, joining Mensa will NOT solve your problem... lol... I am in Montreal Mensa and all they do is "Star Trek" night, "Game" Night and once/twice a month lunch at Rubens. Sadly, most Mensan are not the kind of people I would normally want to hang out with (with a few exceptions, of course). 98% percentile is really way too low to mean anything. There are 2 Mensans in an average university lecture hall (or more, since Universities probably have a different normal distribution of IQ than the general population, hopefully

 

If there's a better organized group with 4 StD (standard deviation) above the mean (about 160 on an IQ scale), then you will probably find people who are smart enough to either "not care about having company" or is able to "get whatever companionship he/she wants".

[Existential]

John, I am doing this- I am extremely analytical, and thus see the advantage of making as many friends as possible. You'll only highten your chances of meeting somebody you click with, and maybe have fun in the process.

 

I've got a lot of acquaintances which I go out/hang out with. It's not that they're bad people, and it's not that I hate them - I really do enjoy going out with them and having fun. It's that deep inside, I know these people won't have a deeper connection with me, not because I'm just being too picky or stubborn. And perhaps my expectations are set to high, but I don't really control that.

 

My issue is that the people who display an inability to reason at any high level tend to be the ones who screw me over the worst, often obliviously.

 

So I realize I may have painted the picture as if all I want to do is sit around talking about physics. That's not the case. But it'd be nice if I had a close friend who understood why I make the decisions I do, and say "wow, that makes sense" or "Why don't you look at it this way instead" instead of telling me "that's, like just, your opinion mannn."

[Existential]

INL - Thanks for your input! I found quickly that you're right- Determinism is not good first date material

 

But seriously though- I really do take things casually at first. And the people who will never get there are still good for friday night bar scene, I suppose. It's not that I block out people who don't want to talk about this stuff, it's that there's a certain level of reason that is coupled with it that I find attractive (in both friends and potential female mates). When I meet somebody who lacks critical thinking on any level, it makes me want to stab myself repeatedly! I find I can't lower my discussion level too far. Often they'll bring up the meaning of life and tell me some fallacious bull** about how their dead father speaks to them or something. And you might be thinking, well - everybody's entitled to their beliefs.. but man I just can't handle that crap.

 

Perhaps I mean to say I'm looking for down-to-earth people?

[sadelvis]

First of all, you are not coming off as pretentious in the slightest. I think I know exactly how you feel. Although I don't have the ability to make people like me, like you do, I have tremendous difficulty with small talk and actually finding a deeper connection with people. I've also managed to cut out a lot of people I used to know because they had a negative influence on me.

 

I do think John Cage's answers completely miss the point here. Intelligence does alienate you from people sometimes. I, for one, have trouble grasping the concept of small talk and I much prefer to just dive into a deep conversation with a stranger but, obviously, if you pick the wrong stranger, you can get a pretty harsh rejection! Being unable to connect with someone on the level that you want can create huge dissatisfaction and frustration that just can't be remedied by friendships with people who don't have the same need for deep conversations and bonds.

 

I see why you emphasised the point that this problem is not a result of your own errors- when I actually broached this subject with someone, I was told that i shouldn't have such high standards and should accept people for who they are. To me, that's complete rubbish. It's not a result of having high standards or not being accepting enough, it's a problem of being unable to satisfy the innate need to be understood and to have companionship (which everybody has and is the reason we all seek friendship in the first place).

 

It's a difficult problem, and one I wish I had the answer to because it would make my life better, and the only advice I can offer is to get out as much as possible, talk to as many people as possible and just keep looking in any conceivable place. Join a hobby group you'd not usually try, go to a poetry night or something. Even on here there's a fair few who feel the same as you so if you keep looking, even in places you wouldn't normally look, you'll eventually come accross the people you've been looking for. You shouldn't have to compromise who you are in order to be happy, even if the friendships you want take a while to find.

[Existential]

First of all, you are not coming off as pretentious in the slightest. I think I know exactly how you feel. Although I don't have the ability to make people like me, like you do, I have tremendous difficulty with small talk and actually finding a deeper connection with people. I've also managed to cut out a lot of people I used to know because they had a negative influence on me.

 

sadelvis! You get me! You're the first !

 

Thanks, so much. I think I was having a hard time articulating my point, but I think you get me!

 

I do think John Cage's answers completely miss the point here. Intelligence does alienate you from people sometimes. I, for one, have trouble grasping the concept of small talk and I much prefer to just dive into a deep conversation with a stranger but, obviously, if you pick the wrong stranger, you can get a pretty harsh rejection! Being unable to connect with someone on the level that you want can create huge dissatisfaction and frustration that just can't be remedied by friendships with people who don't have the same need for deep conversations and bonds.

 

I can definitely DO smalltalk. It's just not stimulating in the least. It's like telling me my problem is I don't do enough mundane activity, so go do more and you'll be excited.

 

I see why you emphasised the point that this problem is not a result of your own errors- when I actually broached this subject with someone, I was told that i shouldn't have such high standards and should accept people for who they are. To me, that's complete rubbish. It's not a result of having high standards or not being accepting enough, it's a problem of being unable to satisfy the innate need to be understood and to have companionship (which everybody has and is the reason we all seek friendship in the first place).

 

That's why I came to this forum. I don't get anywhere venting to people. I get the same BS response. Though I'm getting that response here a bit, too

 

It's a difficult problem, and one I wish I had the answer to because it would make my life better, and the only advice I can offer is to get out as much as possible, talk to as many people as possible and just keep looking in any conceivable place. Join a hobby group you'd not usually try, go to a poetry night or something. Even on here there's a fair few who feel the same as you so if you keep looking, even in places you wouldn't normally look, you'll eventually come accross the people you've been looking for. You shouldn't have to compromise who you are in order to be happy, even if the friendships you want take a while to find.

 

Thanks for your suggestions, I'm out there doing these things.. and keeping my hopes up! I'm glad somebody agrees that I shouldn't have to compromise, it's been damn lonely over here..

[sadelvis]

To be honest, I've often wondered if anyone else feels like this. I just get baffled a bit by people who enjoy just having shallow conversations. I'm not saying I think it's stupid of them or that I'm better than that (i'm actually quite jealous that they've found friendships they thrive on and enjoy) I just don't seem to get anything out of it, and I doubt they get any real satisfaction from me being there! I don't feel closer to them and my mind eventually just drifts off and I'll suddenly realise that I haven't actually been talking for the past half hour, I've been lost in my own thoughts...

 

I've just re-read your post and realised how well the phrase 'used and empty' sums up meeting new people. After spending an hour or so talking to someone new, I leave quite pleased with myself for having the courage to talk to someone new (I'm painfully shy), but then I stop and think, hang on, what have I got out of this conversation? I now know superficial things about them- who they are, what they do, things they like, but it feels like we've just had an empty conversation for the sake of having a conversation.

 

At the risk of sounding a bit cliche, you should read some of the Romantics. Rousseau and de Quincey, in particular, wrote autobiographies about being intellectually isolated because they just couldn't find the connection they needed.

[velvette]

friendship isn't just talking. we DO things, watch movies, eat, play sports. with such a thing as mensa, there's no reason you should be intellectually isolated these days. there are other smart people out there. honestly, if it's that important to you, seek out people who enjoy intellectual talks. they are out there. I knew a bunch in my class, who talked about anything ranging from ethics to philosophy to how the universe originated, if string theory was a waste of time, etc. but mostly they bantered about their hobbies, their troubles (like you are here), and joked around. these were absolutely smart people, some even went off to harvard, but they were quite normal in other respects. I'm not sure if your isolation is due to being too smart, or just having a different personality. if you believe it's the former, do look into mensa, as I've said many times. is there any reason you wouldn't look into mensa? it's a club for smart people who want to find other smart people!

[quirky]

I haven't got any amazing advice just that I understand you a bit. My best friend has a lot of your characteristics and one of my exes was similar too. I don't consider myself that intelectual/intelligent but I connected with these people a lot because I guess I am very honest and genuine and I think I had that truth they were looking for in life.

 

My best friend told me so many times how bored he was with other people, didn't feel challenged and I didn't blame him, a lot of people are not open and it takes forever to get anywhere real.

Also annoyed at how easily people get offended when you're honest. It can be like a surreal farce.

 

I enjoy discussion on concepts involving philosophy, but believe philosophy is a dead topic, and science takes over where philosophy once reigned..

I understand this so much, funny...I was thinking of something like that lately but hadn't been able to put it into words yet.

[90_hour_sleep]

My best friend told me so many times how bored he was with other people, didn't feel challenged and I didn't blame him, a lot of people are not open and it takes forever to get anywhere real.

Also annoyed at how easily people get offended when you're honest. It can be like a surreal farce.

 

yes!!

 

is there a greater obstacle to openness than that? finding offense in everything. seems to be a result of taking yourself too seriously. if you dont' take yourself seriously...nothing will offend you. haha!!

 

i like what you're saying here, quirky. what does it mean to be 'intellectual' anyway? not sure i understand that. it rarely translates into any kind of real-world wisdom. seems to be more of a barrier to finding the joy in life. leads to a narrow-minded perspective.

[John Cage]

There exist one kind of people who would probably suit your need... Poker Players. Good poker players are cold hard logical thinkers, that's a good place to start. Sure, most of them are less educated in pure science but most of them are good at basic math and statistics. The cold hard logical factor alone makes them good companion for logical people. One of my ex used to be a poker player, we clicked on the logical level every step of the way. Her matter-of-fact thinking is so down right sexy that it's something that I have never seen in anyone else but myself.

 

I have a question for you though... Why does a logical person like yourself even CARE about the mental capacity of others? I have learned to not give a damn about "connecting" with random people and when I do, I see it as a divine blessing and NOT a God-given right. How does inner "connection" between people benefit you? It doesn't. As long as a "friendship" is maintained, you don't NEED them to connect with you. It's simply not necessary; and feeling bad for it is illogical.

 

Most people's mind are clouded by hot button words and concepts that they overheard in some crowded classroom; very few people had the ability to understand things at its core. I find one of the best way to find out how logical a person is to introduce them to a competitive game (video game or online game or card game) and see how they react to it. Logical people would instantaneously look for the most efficient, mathematical and methodical way of dominating in the game while "normal" people would just randomly try, try and try again and "learn from experience". This is how I usually spot my close future friends.

 

My advise is that if you are one of those 160+ IQ, 4 StD above the mean kind of people... Then sooner or later you will learn that you are not lucky enough to meet your intellectual match. The best thing you can do is join a math league or something and try to get to the national or international level. Some of the brightest people I ever met was during my NYSML (New York State Mathematics League) and ARML (American Regional Mathematics League) times. However, even though some of these people are smart, I find that TOO MUCH of that is also a bad thing...

 

One or two friends with your level of logic is great, but when you have an entire team of people who are egoistic and believes themselves to be the greatest thing since sliced bread... It gets very heated and boring. I rather have a lot of submissive dumb friends who recognize my superiority than a lot of relatively smart friends who thinks they are my equal.

[Existential]

Thanks for your replies!

 

I looked into mensa when I was in highschool. I generally found mensa to be the way to identify yourself as smart to people who are not. It's always been a running joke as far as I've been concerned.

[velvette]

I never joined mensa because I already experienced that with my classmates, and I didn't see much benefit in purposely seeking out smart people. to join mensa you do have to pass a standardized IQ test, so it's pretty legit as a way to find other smart people (unless you can't pass the test, I guess, and yet are still above-average intelligence; though in that case other posters have suggested other clubs to suit your needs). you pay an affordable annual fee, and meet up with near-by mensa people for intellectual talks. perhaps connect in other ways--that's the plan right?

 

you want to connect with other smart people, so you pass a test to join a smart club and go to smart-people meet-ups. if not mensa, then any of the other suggestions. see, your main point is in your thread title, being "intelligent, alone and depressed". smart-people clubs is the most efficient solution, isn't it, if you don't want to 'lower your standards' to befriend 'regular' people? otherwise you're just rejecting every solution, and then I wonder if you're really so unhappy being alone.

 

I mean geez I do hope you find compatible company, but I'm rather wary of the idea that you're alone BECAUSE you're 'too intellectual'. you may be smart, but that shouldn't hinder your ability to connect to people, -especially- with so many elite social clubs out there. instead of 'intelligent, alone and depressed', I suggest you are 'finicky, alone and depressed'. I don't want to come accross as mean, since I know feeling intellectually-lonely must suck, but if you really want to solve this problem there are many solutions out there. being smart should only aid you in obtaining a solution, not the other way around.

[Existential]

Finicky suggests I've got a choice in the matter with how I feel around people. I know how I've felt in the past around people who do engage me.

 

As far as joining Mensa, I'm taking the suggestion seriously. I only know that people regard the organization as some holy grail of geniuses, and I usually resent the fact that people use that as the marker, and no real common sense or personal experience. I'm against standardized testing as any means to measure intelligence, though I have taken an administered IQ test in the past when my parents tried to make sure I didn't have any learning disabilities before withdrawing me from school.

 

Finicky, I am not. A connection I do want. Paying a membership fee to have friends with glorified geniuses who need to carry a card to prove it to others turns me off. Maybe I'm wrong about mensa, and I hope I am, but it seems disingenuous on the surface.

 

I joined the business group on that meetup site suggested here, and the first available meeting is tomorrow, so it's not like I'm not taking suggestions. Does that mean my feelings have instantly vanished? Not really. I really do like the constructive comments on here, but I can't imagine what you gain by approaching me with such a lousy attitude. It's clear to me you've never had the same feelings as I do now. Suspend your prejudice until you've understood the problem or simply don't post.

 

Everybody has advice. I think what I was looking for was sympathy.

[velvette]

I'm glad you're undertaking suggestions, and I truly hope the situation looks up for you. finicky means you have high standards, not suggesting you have a choice in the matter of feelings. a finicky cat won't eat food it doesn't like, even if it's edible. it has no choice in that it doesn't like those foods, and would rather starve itself to death than deal with distasteful morsels. as you said yourself, you are not lacking in friends, but none are to your taste, so you feel lonely regardless.

 

perhaps my 'lousy' attitude comes from frustration, because I feel like I've been through your shoes, but then got over it. perhaps I'm less patient with you because I feel like you are a less mature me (I don't mean that snidely, I would rather use 'younger' but you may actually be older). anyway, perhaps I'm wrong, but you don't need to let my words affect you any more than a stranger's; which is what I am anyway. I know I have felt the exact same 'aloneness' you speak of, but it never affected me as much as it seems to affect you (maybe I'm just more solitary, and don't mind only having a superficial connection with most people I meet--in which case sure, I still don't understand you, and you can relegate me to being 'prejudice').

 

I am of course only able to judge you based on what you choose to reveal to us through words, and since I don't know you personally everything I say can be 'prejudice'. how would I have known you had all those meetings already lined up, unless you said so just now? all I knew was that you rejected mensa based on it being 'a running joke', any response that isn't to your taste is labeled as 'BS', and you continued to complain about things that were fully within you to change.

 

I would have more sympathy if you wanted to be an athlete but unfortunately broke your leg. this is not the case. you are a functional person with the means to satisfy your own happiness, so I have full belief you'll get there. you'd rather that than pity, wouldn't you? if anything, stop blaming your isolation on your intelligence. because there are very smart people with fulfilling social lives.

 

 

if you want, I can revert back to my youth, and talk from a perspective of sympathy. when I once felt like how you did. "I agree", I would say, "it's tough being smarter than everyone else." ... "nobody really gets me, and it's so annoying having to dumb down everything I say, or risk being grossly misunderstood" ...etc. but I grew up from that, and am much happier now, so was hoping a bit of 'tough love' would help you out. *shrug* you don't need to take it to heart. I just wanted you to know that you do have the capacity to change things, that you don't always need to feel alone, and the sooner you stop blaming it on things you can't change (your intellect), the sooner you can really make changes for the better.

[Existential]

I'm not blaming intelligence or using it as a crutch. I'm simply observing that this appears to be the problem. If I were three weeks into depression, then perhaps your words would ring true. I could just dig myself out of this. But after a year of attempting to meet new people in every environment I can think of, it's just not that simple. Telling somebody who's depressed that he needs to just dig himself out doesn't usually work. Now, I'm far more functional than your average depressed person, and I understand that the answer either lies with finding what I'm looking for, or resolving to change what I'm looking for. That doesn't mean I don't have feelings like anybody else. I'm just very discouraged after so long...

 

And I hardly think having feelings puts anybody higher or lower on the maturity scale. When somebody in my position is looking for sympathy, it's not for self pity, It's to get encouragement that their efforts aren't a total waste, and to keep on trucking. Despite your claim of "tough love," what I see is somebody who has truly never been in this position. Telling somebody who's ready to give up the fight that it's his own fault for not being tougher.

 

And, yes, the members of mensa that I've met over the years tend to be pretentious * * * * * s. That doesn't mean I'm not trying to find people I get along with. I just don't see any reason to throw time and money into an organization that exists solely to seclude people to make them feel "smarter." I'd like to find down to earth smart people.

 

And, no, I don't take what you say to heart because I don't genuinely see a connection between your interpretation of my words and what's really happening here. Either way, I know that I try to approach people I don't yet understand a little more timidly, just in case I've got them wrong.

[Sim54]

Ultimately, our relationships with others reflect our relationship with ourselves, and so, it is clear that you have almost no emotional connection with yourself, hence your inability to connect with others. Connection with others IS emotional, in any lasting sense.

 

You haven't been through the whole 'change myself' thing, coz you haven't changed.

 

And it IS all you doing this.

You are responsible for your life, the choices you make, the ways you choose to interact with others, and this victim stance you choose to adopt to avoid doing the hard work of growing up and becoming a mature responsible adult.

 

Practical advice will NOT help you connect.

Discovering who you are on an emotional level will.

 

Peace.

 

S

[lerira]

I'm pointing out that the typical advice is your #2, while my entire post is that I simply cannot think of any more factors to change. What should I do? Hit myself with a brick until I get along with people?

 

There's no blame here, and no avoiding responsibility.

 

Instead, I pointed this out to show that the first thing people will do is point at me and wonder what it is I've done. I'm looking for practical advise. I've already been through the "change yourself" rigmarole.

 

How about therapy? Seems like you're resistant to a lot of the advice on here. A therapist will give you more insight and you'll develop a relationship with one!

[Existential]

That's good advice lerira, I am seriously investigating this idea. I wish it was cheaper!

[lerira]

That's good advice lerira, I am seriously investigating this idea. I wish it was cheaper!

 

I'm sensing here that you're looking for people to sympathize with you, not necessarily give you advice. Not that that's an awful thing.

[Existential]

I'm looking for a little of both. Encouragement. Maybe secret ideas that I've never thought of before.. like.. the secret to success is the word "abra cadabra"

[90_hour_sleep]

finicky may not have been the best choice of words. and...i don't believe that anyone would suggest that a 'depressed' state is something that one would choose; however, there is something in your disposition that is enabling this pattern to continue to manifest itself. it may not be a conscious choice...but that doesn't mean that you aren't responsible on some level for the way you're feeling. the responsibility factor isn't really useful as a means to solve the problem though...only perhaps a means of acknowledgement. it removes the impetus you've placed on others (that's the vibe i've gleaned from your posts...maybe that wasn't your intention). as i see it...you've bound yourself to a particular system of beliefs. you've essentially created a belief in the idea that you're separate from others. there are barriers that you've come to trust in...and in the spirit of maintaining that trust...you continue to reinforce the pattern. is there any shred of evidence to support that as you see it?

 

maybe it's less to do with the fact that others aren't intelligent...and more to do with the fact that you unconsciously judge others who don't adhere to your own expectation of what intelligence is? an IQ test is but one standard. to be honest (and i state this as a matter of personal opinion), a conversation based solely on intelligence feels like more of a lecture than anything else. this is fantastic if you're teaching. but really...when it comes to interacting on a personal level, will that lead to connection? probably not on it's own merit. other factors, notably perceptiveness and attentiveness, are key ingredients. these tend to reinforce comfort. they help to put others at ease.

 

is it possible that because you've put so much emphasis on intellect, you've effectively raised the bar so high that no one can reach it? makes sense to me if you're feeling isolated. superiority is a lonely destination. i'm not suggesting that you're not superior in some ways...just that acting on that superiority doesn't exactly promote interpersonal relationship. maybe you're worried about 'coming down' to a level that's on par with your peers? will other people look at you differently somehow if that's the case? are you invested in the identity of being intellectually superior? i dont' know. i'm just poking around with possibilities as to why you've become isolated. you're the only one that really holds to keys to your inner workings. and...it may feel illogical to question this...because it's probably how you've lived most of your life to this point. that doesn't mean that it's served you well though. if it's no longer serving you...then why not make a change?

 

the bottom line is...if you're truly fed up with feeling this way...you'll find a way to feel good. it's well within your reach to do that. how badly do you want the answers? if sympathy is what you're after...you have my fullest sympathies. living a life cut off from those around you is a miserable existence. i've been there...so i can indeed sympthetize.

 

it's in your hands.

 

i stole this from someone else...but here it is: "Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.'' may not seem like magic...but maybe there's a part of you that can realize some truth in that.

[Existential]

Thanks for your input. I've tried to convey this, but it's very difficult because you have to fill in the blanks with whatever stereotype best fits me.

 

This is not about superiority or some sort of intelligence complex. I'm not putting up intelligence walls and boundaries. I've described my problem as best as I can, and I have come to the conclusion that it may, in fact, be a matter of intelligence.

 

That doesn't mean I don't try to connect with everybody I meet. It just means that after a while it becomes apparent that we aren't connecting and never will. People live in their own little bubbles and it's hard to meet people down to earth.

 

It's not my attitude. People believe the key to happiness is lowering your expectations so you're never let down. I disagree.