Blending Families

[floridagirlal]

I'm looking for feedback on blending families. My fiance and I are marrying later this year and will blend a 14G, 13G, 13B, 7G into one house. I would love to hear your success stories and even suggestions on what NOT to do. I've read about the difficulties in blending families and I want us to be as prepared as possible for this challenge.

 

Thanks for sharing!!

[d24]

I thought I understood what the numebrs meant till I saw a B, then I decided I was confused.

Am I being thick? Help please!

[floridagirlal]

Sorry....14 year old girl, 13 year old girl, 13 year old boy, and 7 year old girl.

[orchidrose]

I was raised in a blended family; at the time that my dad and stepmom got together, I was 10 and my sister was 8, and we had three stepsiblings: 19G, 11G and 7B.

 

DO NOT push the idea that you are one big happy family. Unless the children choose to develop a strong bond, they are not all sisters and brothers. I still refer to my stepsiblings as such because we never developed that strong bond. However, the children of course need to treat each other with respect, and encouraging that is always welcome.

 

DO listen to your children's concerns about blending. One of my biggest fears when my dad and stepmom got together was that I was going to be spanked - my stepmom did the corporal punishment thing, and my dad and mom didn't.

 

DO stick to your "old" family traditions while making room for new ones. My dad wasn't great at this - all of a sudden we didn't do the things we used to do together. But we did make new traditions that the whole blended family participated in, like opening one present on Christmas Eve or going to the movies after dinner on holidays.

 

I'm sure I could think of more tips, but I'm blanking right now. Hope this helps!

[confusedmama]

Speaking from what I hear my boys say (their father just re-married and they now have 4 step-siblings) make sure you still spend time with YOUR children and he with his-don't expect everything to be a "family" thing. Be careful of "favorites" even though they aren't-sometimes kids see things differently (try to make all gifts as even as possible) make certain that things the kids enjoy are still allowed to be enjoyable ( my boys aren't supported in the sporting activities as much any longer and aren't allowed to go to youth group as if cuts into "family time")

 

These are just the complaints I've heard in the past year. Good Luck!!