How long were you NC before you stopped keeping track?

[Oneironaut]

The question is rather self-explanatory, but I'll expand a bit, anyhow.

 

I won't bother going into my backstory, it's too sordid and complicated, lol...but if you want a bit of a laugh, you can read about my Rage Message here:

 

 

 

Unfortunately, I have reason to believe he never read it, but I felt pretty darn good writing it.

 

Anyhow, after I wrote that, I did still send him a few AIM messages, but 12 days ago, decided to go Total NC. I've never made it past this point, I've always caved and written him. I'm happy to say that I have 0% interest in writing him at all, and in my opinion, this is when TRUE NC begins...when you no longer have to fight the urge to contact them, because you realize you are doing this for YOU.

 

You also realize there's simply nothing left to be said...or at least, that's how I feel right now.

 

So I got to wondering...how long will it be before I stop keeping track of the exact days, because I just don't care anymore?

 

I would love to hear from those of you who have reached this point, where you maybe know it's been ABOUT a certain amount of time, but you don't know exactly because counting just wasn't important anymore.

 

Thank you in advance. 8)

[Mustachio]

Well if you are talking about truly not counting the days, took a few months, 3 maybe, maybe a little more.

 

However, I still remember the last time I spoke with her and because of that I could tell you how long its been. Honestly, its a tough question to answer because once you stop keeping track, well.... you stop keeping track.

 

However, 12 days is really nothing. So dont be too hard on yourself. You might not feel any interest right now in contacting your ex, but the urge will come back, its all cyclical.

 

So, if I think back, there was literally a one or two line email exchange back in July which I really dont count, and before that, April I believe. So 10 months or so at this point. And it really wasnt until after that tiny little email exchange that I really stopped counting or keeping trakc at all.

[lucasky]

I think it was about 3-4 months for me too when I went through my last big break-up. Once you stop counting the days you still have a general sense of when you last spoke, but the daily count is gone.

[In the Dark]

It took me a few months due to not doing what you did.

I did not rage at my ex and kept it all inside.

Boy did I do some dumb things during that time.

 

So once I did "rage" at her over the phone and soon after contact ended, from her I don't give a **** what yuo are feeling it isn't my problem, I want to do what I want to do and there is nothing you can do to stop me (thing is I never stopped her doing anything in the first place lol) have a good life attitude....I just stopped.

 

There was no point sure it felt good to tell her who she is and what she did, explaining where her actions towards me, lead me.

A great weight off my shoulders......I had no reason to contact her anymore.

I did care if she was listening or not to what I said.

Whether she took it to heart.....if she truly has one.

It needed to come out and saying what I needed to say to someone who wasn't her would not have worked.

[Drake7]

My ex started the NC, I stopped keeping track of her as well as contact a few days after the break up. This was due to learning a good number of things about her that deeply disturbed me.

 

I was told she would return to talk to me(When shes ready) but I think I am smart enough to realize it was a lie from her sister to get me to stop "Harassing her sister" after two emails... lol She has not contacted me since in any way shape or form and I have no way of knowing how she feels about me, not that I care at this point.

 

I remember the exact day it ended, and I also know todays date. However, I simply do not keep track of how long it has been, I know it has not been long but I do not care. Counting the days, months, and years just makes moving on a nightmare. The faster you stop keeping track of your ex in all regards, the faster they will fade.

 

There really is no set time when a person will no longer keep track, everyone is different. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to stop keeping track and it will just become a good habit.

[user1988]

I stopped keeping track when I no longer longed to reunite, no longer felt the sadness, no longer remembered why I was sad in the first place and no longer cared.

[Scotty123]

It must have taken me about 4 or 5 mths to stop counting in detail. But it propably took me till about 6 mths to stop caring ! I can confidently say that I now have no desire to contact her or to hear from her. So that's 9 mths since the break up and 7 mths of no contact and it took me 5 mins of counting my fingers to remember how long it's been lol

 

It is very strange thinking of the inital posts I wrote on this site. I poured my heart out, so such emotion ..... but now nothing ! She will always be a part of my history and in some ways I will always love her, but she no longer has any relevance in my life. Wow I have learnt so much in the last 9mths !

[Oneironaut]

Hey, everyone, thanks for the replies. Seems like it's generally about 3-4 months before the exact counting stops, which is kind of what I was thinking. But, as mentioned, everyone is different, and unfortunately, I was cursed with a photographic memory when it comes to numbers, lol...so I guess I'll always remember February 4 as the last time I sent him a message, but yeah...hopefully the exact date count will stop soon enough. 8)

 

Thanks again to everyone, and it's nice to finally start not caring as much, isn't it? It was along time coming, but, I'm getting there.