ibu Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Also, don't forget that if the guy has a big penis flaccid, it probably isn't increasing much in size when it's erect (or so I've always heard). So it is really that much bigger than yours then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 She might have thought about how that penis would feel inside of her or like how being with such a guy would be like...or NOT. We can't say really, we don't know more about your girl friend than you do. But I highly doubt that it will be constantly in her mind...I'm sorry you feel this way, we all feel that way once in a while when our SOs compliment someone else who is different from us. The truth is tho, more often than not, we make it a bigger deal than what it really is and it mostly is because we are the ones who have issues with ourselves, not them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Sure he could be so much more in that area and also be a dumb as a box of rocks or he could be a complete ass hat. Just because he has the bigger package doesn't mean anything really. If you and your girl are strolling the beach and you see a girl with larger breasts and a better body in a bikini, are we to assume that your girlfriend will just expect you to suddenly want larger breasted women with nicer bodies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkly Eyes Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Sure he could be so much more in that area and also be a dumb as a box of rocks or he could be a complete ass hat. Just because he has the bigger package doesn't mean anything really. If you and your girl are strolling the beach and you see a girl with larger breasts and a better body in a bikini, are we to assume that your girlfriend will just expect you to suddenly want larger breasted women with nicer bodies? lol, the truth is (or so I think) yes, most men would think about and desire a different body type when they see a different girl. But that does NOT mean that they won't stop obsessing about it or will have sex with their girl friend having that image in mind. I remember I used to joke with my ex about other girls and I could see the spark in his eyes just from thinking about being with them. But I don't think he compared me to them all the time...I know he really enjoyed my body too. Women can feel the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty2422 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Ok, I've obessessed about this long enough. It's consumed way too much of my life the last week and a half and I just need to get over it. I thank everyone so much for your thoughtful and considerate comments. I've come to realize that ALL women have secrets, and if she's gotten even a tiny thrill over this unexpected sight in her art class...so be it. Like so many of you have said, it means nothing in the scheme of things. She's madly in love with me, I'm madly in love with her, and she can't wait to walk down the aisle and say, "I do." I think the heart of my problem with this wasn't a fear of her suddenly dumping me or anything like that, it's much more basic than that. I've always wondered/worried about how she viewed my penis (size, girth, etc.) and I think hearing her call this other guy "giant" was simply a blow to my already fragile ego in regards to my manhood. A good secret about guys for women to know: while us average guys may rock your world in the bedroom and leave you breathless and begging for another round, we're still vain and insecure. You see, we also care deeply, in addition to whether we satisfy you sexually, about how you think/feel/view our packages on a purely visual standpoint. We want to drop our pants and see nothing but unadulterated lust and excitement in your eyes. I guess I was rattled by the possibility of another man sparking a reaction in my fiancee that I know I never could. And it just made me sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Remember that guys with big penises have insecurities too. I'm sure many stress over the whole "bigger isn't actually better" and second guess their bedroom abilities because of that. Everyone is insecure about something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredofvampires Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 You have used words like "stunned", "uncomfortable" and "confronted by" to describe your gf's reactions to the "giant" penis man. None of these reactions denote excitement, thrills, or titillation. Just a sense of "wow, that's quite novel." And perhaps, "that looks like it'd hurt." I draw models, and I can tell you that there is a clinical feeling about drawing someone's penis that feels a bit like what you'd imagine a doctor would feel seeing your privates. If you were gigantic, it would be a momentary mental note/observation, but that doesn't translate into "oh, how wonderful that would be to ride!" There are those out there who feel erotically drawn to their models (from my experience, it's more men that do this than women), but it's not professional, and an implicit understanding is there in art class where you're not there for that. In fact, you're so focused on getting much more significant features correct, you don't have the mental latitude to be fantasizing about things like that. I'm glad you've decided to stop obsessing, because this is really totally inconsequential and whoever she draws, you can be assured that after she leaves class, she leaves the penis there, except possibly as an in-passing remark because it was unusual. It's not necessarily a sexual thought process, and most likely isn't. I would lose the provocative, insecure comments like, "have you drawn your porn star today?" That'll just bring needless tension into your conversations about a thing that means nothing to her. And chiming in with all the ladies who prefer an average penis, personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 What's she going to do...put a ring on the penis and marry it? If so, this chick is nuts. No pun intended. Back in college, we had this model in life drawing class - Jade was her name. Chick had huge knockers. My girl at the time had an A-cup. You think I compared her to Jade? No way. I loved what I had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty2422 Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 Tiredofvampires and Seymore, you make excellent points. I just want to throw this out there for discussion's sake: I do feel the penis/breast comparision has some validity but is a bit of a false equivalence. Just meaning, breasts, from tiny to enormous, are far more "out there" and prevalent for view. We're smothered, so to speak, by them everywhere we turn. And there has become a sort of desensitization to them. I think the opportunity for women to see penises, especially unusually large ones, is much more rare in casual situations (outside the unexpected sight of one in, say, an art class, women generally have to seek them out), and therefore it might be more likely for a woman to harbor that visual and compare others' (including their mate) going forward. Besides, the penis is male genitalia; breasts are not genitalia. The real equivalence would be male artists suddenly finding themselves staring at a female model holding her legs by her ankles so the entire class can get a full view of her vagina. THAT would stick with you! LOL And I bet their SO's wouldn't be too impressed by that. But I'm merely speculating, and probably putting forth unfair generalizations about women. I guess all I'm trying to get at is, IMO, being shocked by the sight of a giant penis (and then getting a chance to get more comfortable with it in subsequent classes, as she's done) has more impact than seeing a pair of giant boobies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 You say that because you're a guy. Trust me, my girl at the time got insecure as hell when I mentioned us having to draw Jade. I think SHE thought about Jade's boobs more than I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostOne01 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 It is understandable that you would feel this way but don't let it get to you too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 if he saw some girl on the street with nice "big" ,and he would tell her i bet she wouldn't like it either. so it's her fault for telling him . the male brain works exactly like that,if a girl tells us she saw a guy with a nice car, for example,right away we imagine that she likes him or would like to hook up with him. that's how guys work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 tell her and see how she'll react. she'll start asking you if her breasts are small . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shudder Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 girls think guys love big boobs and guys think girls love big such is life lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty2422 Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 It turned out she pretty much knew what was bothering me all along. She realized the way she so bluntly mentioned him and his "asset" was not good and she could tell it rattled me. The way I'd handled it over the last couple weeks made us both miserable and I just couldn't take it anymore so I spilled my guts. Believe me, not the easiest thing for a guy to do - admit he was insecure and jealous of his fiancee looking at a guy with so much "more" than him. It's ended up being ok. She basically became worried about bringing it up again because she really was surprised at how much I was bothered by it. I guess that speaks volumes about how strongly she views our relationship. She even said when she mentioned his "giant penis" she was talking to her best friend and the guy she could tell anything to, and just didn't consider she was also talking to her fiance and the man she sleeps with. Even the most secure guy in the world probably doesn't want to hear about his girl staring at a "giant" man from 10 feet away I've also come to realize (because she's now drawn him 3 times and will probably continue) that even if she's got some sort of thrill from his body or even some level of attraction it just doesn't matter; and I don't want to know. I just think what would happen with me if I was taking an art class and continually drawing some voluptuous goddess. Would I feel some lust and really look forward to my next class? Does a bear in the woods? lol But would it make me less attracted to my lover? No. The world didn't come to an end. I explained the biggest reason for my sadness wasn't worrying about her cheating on me or anything like that, just a profound sadness at thinking this guy might cause her to look at me differently, or somehow diminsh her attraction for me. I put something superficial above our love for one another. And the fact that, after being together for almost 6 years, our love life has become a bit routine, I grew worried that, with the help of this model, she was finally "bored" by my not so inspiring body. P.s. we got it on last night and it was good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Lilly Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 it's the same as if you saw a girl with big boobs, what would you think? you wouldn't question your relationship or your "lust", because you love her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallop30 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 i can be attracted to a lot of girls too,doesn't mean i wanna fk them all. same goes for women. don't worry bro,maybe you have longer fingers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewing Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Besides, the penis is male genitalia; breasts are not genitalia. Since when??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty2422 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 Since when??? Since forever. Breasts are not sexual organs. WE have sexualized them. Are male pecs genitalia? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I've seen some monster sized penises. They don't look appealing.... Do you only think of large breasted women in porn when having sex with your gf? Doesn't the question seem silly when you switch the situation and answer for yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Also, breasts are more 'in your face' but I see penis all of the time. Women are not naive creatures and the site of a huge penis is nothing new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NowandZen Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Is it just me, or is the big wang simply a manifestation of male insecurity? Perhaps the idea that somehow, we are not good enough? Love yourself, love your junk, so to speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty2422 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 I've seen some monster sized penises. They don't look appealing.... Do you only think of large breasted women in porn when having sex with your gf? Doesn't the question seem silly when you switch the situation and answer for yourself? Of course it does. But that's the problem with insecurity; it's rarely rational I've come to realize the heart of what bothered me so much about this was very simple, very basic. I had a rattling fear of my g/f looking at me (my body) differently after drawing this guy multiple times. That somehow seeing this guy flopping around would maybe diminish her attraction to me. It would cause her to think of the guy she shared a bed with as "boring." "Ok, what more can I do with this?" All it was, at its core, was a profound jealousy of another man's much larger penis; and destructive fear and insecurity of my g/f looking at it (a lot) and feeling it's "better." Like I said, insecurity is so evil because it doesn't have to be rational. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Of course it does. But that's the problem with insecurity; it's rarely rational I've come to realize the heart of what bothered me so much about this was very simple, very basic. I had a rattling fear of my g/f looking at me (my body) differently after drawing this guy multiple times. That somehow seeing this guy flopping around would maybe diminish her attraction to me. It would cause her to think of the guy she shared a bed with as "boring." "Ok, what more can I do with this?" All it was, at its core, was a profound jealousy of another man's much larger penis; and destructive fear and insecurity of my g/f looking at it (a lot) and feeling it's "better." Like I said, insecurity is so evil because it doesn't have to be rational. I'm glad you're feeling better and you recognize it as insecurity. It'd irk me a bit if my bf came home saying 'omg, this woman's breasts at work were huge' but bigger is not always better. In fact, it usually isn't when it comes to body parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewing Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Since forever. Breasts are not sexual organs. WE have sexualized them. Are male pecs genitalia? No, we have not... that fact of the matter is, the nipples are one of the most errogenous parts of the body - female nipples experience a brief change during childbirth due to hormonal shift that decrease sensitivity. Otherwise, it is possible to orgasm from nipple stimulation alone - the sensation of having the nipples touched or sucked or nibbled is similar, mentally, to the sensation of having the formal gentilia touched. And that's not due to socialization, it's how we're born... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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