My ramblings

[KH26]

Haha yeah it is! But it's not really spoken much anymore, only in the North. Tom moved here from the North of England and seemed to think he should learn Welsh because he's a doctor and his patients would speak Welsh. He's never actually used it but he's quite good at it anyway! We went on holiday last March and spoke Welsh to eachother at the airport (airport in England) and this couple sitting next to us were like "OMG those over there *pointing at us* are Welsh, they're speaking Welsh!" so we pretended we actually could speak fluent Welsh till we got on the plane haha.

[KH26]

I've just worked out it's 5 weeks and 6 days till we go to Morocco. Not long! I'm VERY exciting.

 

Blah, college today. Don't know why but I'm just not looking forward to it. I've slept pretty badly again, kept waking up and just don't feel like I've had much rest. I feel like I could be doing so much more here today. Hopefully I can get some stuff done tomorrow afternoon.

 

I have to be up at 5 tomorrow morning. It's going to be a killer haha. I'm not good at getting up before 8. When I know I have to be up before 8 I just can't relax and it's unlikely that I'll sleep well. I have to pick Tom up from work at 7:30am then get him to his interview at 8:30am. He really doesn't want this job but still sort of hope they do at least offer him the job, should settle his mind a bit. Think works getting a bit stressful for him again. He gave me a quick call last night about 10 minutes before he had to leave so we couldn't talk for long. But he sounded a bit down and said works so busy, they just don't get breaks. I think he'll be really glad when August comes and he's got a new job, I don't think he likes where he is now very much. I so hope he gets the job at his next interview. He's been talking about this job for the last year or so and has done so much work for it. He'll be really pleased if he gets it. He's been talking about the interview for the last week since he found out about it and just seems really excited.

 

Ah I've found a lump in my neck. I'm a bit worried. I was going to go see the doctor this morning but they'd just tell me to come in at, like, lunch time. But I have to be at college. Might get Tom to have a quick look tomorrow morning see what he thinks then go see the doctor on Friday. Probably worrying over nothing but it's like a bit bigger than a grape and was hurting a bit yesterday. But I don't if that's just my imagination because I know it's there now. Best to get it looked at though I suppose!

[sweetpea03]

Where is the lump, location wise, on your neck?

 

Ughh, early mornings are so not my friend. I don't like being up before 8 either. I'm not a morning person. Though V is and he can easily get up early, but that's not me and he knows not to wake me up early or I might get cranky. lol. So he waits to call or text or what ever until after about 8 or 9 at least.

[OptomisticGirl]

I'm not a morning person..CS is. Makes for.interesting sleep patterns, lol

[KH26]

It's like at the side of my oesophagus. I can feel it more when I push on the other side (doesn't make sense). Tom says it's probably because I have an infection somewhere in my body which is causing my lymph nodes to be a bit swollen. I can't think of where I would have an infection but my tooth on the side where the lump is has been hurting the last week or so when I brush my teeth and was hurting a bit more so I'm wondering if I have an infection somewhere in my mouth. My gums have been bleeding a bit. Don't know. Didn't have time to see the doctor this morning so I'm going to go in the morning then get my teeth checked some time too. Shouldn't be anything to worry about though.

 

I'm sooo not a morning person! I was up at 5:30. Had to be up at 6:15. Could have gone back to sleep for a bit but it's almost impossible for me to get back to sleep when I know I have to be up soon. It's so depressing leaving the house at that time and almost every house is dark, really wished I was back in bed haha.

 

Men are so bad to drive with. The traffic was really heavy on the way to Tom's interview. He's such a back seat driver. Was like arghhhh if you can get there faster then drive instead! Lol. Then we could not find the interview place. It's in the football stadium but there's loads of gates and we couldn't find the right one. So I dropped him off and he had to walk. Driving at that time is not nice, especially when I want to be back in bed!

 

Gah, so annoyed at my college. They've marked out assignments wrong. So I thought I'd got a lower grade than I actually have. And for the last, like, 3 weeks I've been trying to make it right to get a higher grade but just couldn't see where I'd gone wrong. So many people said the same thing. We just couldn't find ways we could correct it. Then out tutor said yesterday that they've been marked wrong. So annoyed! I've spent so much time trying to fix this assignment when I could have been doing other work.

 

I LOVE my class mates. They're great. One of the girls is leaving so we're going to go for dinner and some drinks next weekend, should be fun! We should all go somewhere more often I reckon.

 

Tom said he's booked our hire car for Morocco. I'm so excited, everything is ready for us to go now! Don't think there's anything else we need to do. Can't wait!

[OptomisticGirl]

Oh I hate back seat drivers! My mom is the WORST! I really hate driving with her and she knows it. She complains about everything--- how soon I break, how close I get to the yellow line (I hate hugging the outer line near the shoulder of the road), how fast I take a turn--just endless. CS isn't that bad. I thought he would be worse when he was over here in October and we took a trip to the mountains which required a 4 hour drive. For him it was mostly being on the opposite side of the road. He refuses to teach me to drive when I move over there.. says he'll pay for an instructor to teach me because he still wants to love me afterward. Ha.

[KH26]

Lol you'll have to get used to the narrow roads too! Usually Tom does the driving when we're going somewhere. But I took him to his interview today because there wouldn't be anywhere for him to park so would be easier for me to just drop him off and drive off. We went to his brother's wedding last May, took about 2 hours to get there. We had to keep stopping like every 15 minutes because he wouldn't stop telling me how to drive. Arghhh lol. We've never argued the whole time we've been together but omg we don't really get on when I'm driving lol. I'm just as bad though I suppose. His driving is so bad, he's got no patience at all and drives too erratically so I tell him to slow down and be patient. Would rather drive myself lol.

 

Awww haha I think if Tom had taught me to drive we wouldn't be together anymore lol. Do you drive an automatic car?

[OptomisticGirl]

I was really worried about that 4 hour drive because when I'm trying to get places, in the past it has lead to arguments in other relationships. Luckily CS discovered the GPS on my Droid phone and it made our trip argument free on the drives! We loved that GPS so much we even named her Stacy, lol. I do drive an automatic. CS says we will start off with an automatic car to help me out but I think at some point he wants me to try to learn stick shift and I'm willing to try to learn.

[KH26]

Haha my laptop's called April so... Tom's so against my satnav! He cycles a lot and is really into outdoor stuff so he's really good at reading maps and can find his way pretty much anywhere. He thinks my satnav is evil lol.

 

I think I'd be so confused driving a manual car! Never tried it but seems more complicated!

[OptomisticGirl]

I tried a long time ago but it didn't go well but I think it was just my teacher.

[KH26]

I am so annoyed right now.

 

I've been to the family planning clinic. They rang and said I was late having my next Depo Provera shot apparently. New to me because as far as I'm aware (and it says it on my card too) it's not due till 17th February. So I go there, wait for two hours and see a nurse who says they can't do anything today anyway because there's not a doctor there and won't be till 14th February! Which is obviously Valentine's day and I have plans. There's not a doctor there then till March some time. So annoyed.

 

So I tell this nurse than I'm not happy with the injection. I haven't heard one good thing about it and from what I can tell it can effect fertility and/or it can be a long time till fertility returns after stopping the injection. Add on top of that all the other side effects. I'm not happy with it. They didn't explain it all to me when I had the first one, I didn't find out about the nasty side of it till I read the leaflets they gave me when it was too late, I'd already had it.

 

So I said I'd considered getting the Implanon because apparently it's more effective and doesn't seem to be quite as nasty from what I've heard. Shouldn't go by hear say I know but EVERYTHING I've heard about the injection is bad.

 

So then she gets all annoyed because I'm there, there's loads of people waiting and apparently I'm wasting their time because I can't see a doctor tonight anyway. They called me??? Grrr! She read in my notes that the pill's NOT for me, it was horrible. NEVER again. I can't get the coil because I haven't had children. I'm really not happy with getting the injection long term. Then she tells me that the injection is the same as the Implanon (OK, it might be) and because I've had no side effects they will NOT let me try the Implanon because it's so expensive and they'd make me still it out for 8 months if it wasn't agreeing with me.

 

So it's the injection or nothing basically.

 

And I'm really annoyed. Makes me feel like I have no control over my own fertility. I don't want to just use condoms because it doesn't feel safe. So it's like I have no choice but to carry on letting them inject me with something that I have no idea how it's going to effect me long term. I am so tempted right now to pay to see someone.

[OptomisticGirl]

Have you experienced any of the side effects?

[KH26]

I haven't been able to sleep and I've been feeling really down, not a good way to be feeling!

 

OMG I'm so worried. I've just been to see the doctor about the lump in my neck. I had blood tests last year when I went on the pill, they checked my thyroid then apparently and it was fine (this was just, like, 10 months ago or something). The doctor wasn't sure what it was, he looked concerned. So he called in 3 more doctors ( ) who also had a feel and apparently my thyroid gland is swollen and they're not sure why.

 

So he said he'd get me seen at the hospital as quickly as he can. I worry too much but that doesn't sound good. Argh now I'm going to have to wait to find out what it is, so worrying!

 

I'm going swimming this afternoon. Can't believe we've never been swimming together yet. The pool near where he lives is awesome. It has amazing slides and things. I wouldn't be brave enough to have a go on my own haha. Should be fun. Then we're going to cook something new for dinner and have some wine.

[OptomisticGirl]

I hope the next visit goes okay! If your thyroid was fine before you went on the pill and now it's wacked, it could be due to the pill or the other form you are on now. I know they constantly check my iron level since I'm on the pill.

[KH26]

Hmm good thinking, it might be! Very strange but I had a lump on my back, it was about the size of a pea. It was there like a year then I got the depo provera injection and like 2 days later it was really big. And they'd injected it into the top of my arm about 5 inches away from the lump then it disappeared Probably coincidence but artificial hormones definitely do strange things!

 

Was a bit upset when I got home from the doctors but no point worrying too much till I'm sure what it is. Probably is nothing to worry about but I'll be glad to get it checked out properly and be sure there's nothing more serious wrong. Hope they get back to me soon!

[OptomisticGirl]

I know. Not knowing if something is serious drives you crazy. You would think they could just tell you right then lol

[sweetpea03]

Well the location of the lump sounds like a lymph node. If it were lower on your neck, in the center, or back of your neck, I'd be more worried, but it doesn't sound like anything....

[KH26]

They said my thyroid feels swollen but, yeah, I think the lymph node is swollen aswell. Didn't quite catch what they said. Me and Tom had a look in some of his books last night and everything in there about thyroid disorders and things don't sound all that serious. Obviously there's thyroid cancer but that seems very unlikely. It is a bit worrying but no point getting really worked up about it till I know for sure what's wrong.

 

I had a fun afternoon yesterday! Me and Tom went swimming. It was so fun. I love this pool! We went quite late and on Friday evening's they have live music, turn the lights of and have flashy lights and you can buy, like, waterproof light things to take in the pool. It was so fun. They have amazing slides and a really cool lazy river and hot tub. I need to start swimming again. I hadn't been in 6 months and it was quite hard last night. I could swim for ages before and not get tired. Need some more practice again! Think I'm going to go again after work on Monday. I love the pool.

 

Afterwards we cooked dinner and went to the pub but Tom had been up since, like, 5:30 or something so we went to bed early. I can't sleep still, it's so annoying. Was awake till after 3am so gave up and got up and read for a bit. Annoying!

 

It's sooo cold. I can't get warm! And I'm really accident prone. I should be locked up or something haha. Was washing the dishes after breakfast this morning and Tom has this mug with a broken handle he uses when he goes cycling if he takes tea or coffee with him. I've cut my finger on the broken handle, sooo sore!

 

Ah and I officially have to best boyfriend in the world

[KH26]

Oh and me and my friend are going to see My Chemical Romance on the 21st Feb for my birthday. I'm excited

[KH26]

Tom is hilarious in his sleep. I got a sneaky video of him talking before, it's so funny. He ALWAYS talks about light, it's so strange. Last night he sat up and I really thought he was awake. His door to his garden is next to his bed so he was looking towards it and telling me there was light coming in. The curtains are really thick and there really wasn't any light coming in, it was very dark. So I asked him where the light was and he goes "it's just light in general, stop it!" ??? Haha.

 

This morning he woke up and spoke to me normally for a bit but then must have fallen back to sleep. He then sits up and goes "Naughty!" so I asked him what was naughty and he goes "I've been a naughty boy, naughty boy! It's bad smoking isn't it? Naughty for smoking, bad boy". He doesn't smoke and never has so don't know where this came from.

 

So strange but so funny!

[OptomisticGirl]

HAHAHAHA.

 

My ex once rolled over and grabbed my thigh and said, "hmmm, can get a nice price for this ham at the market." I was like.... what?!?!?!?! And then one time he was running late for work and put my bra on and walked out the door and got halfway to the car before realizing it, ha.

 

CS doesn't talk in his sleep thank God.

[KH26]

Haha it's funny! Tom's ALWAYS talking about light. He's always annoyed at me in his sleep because I can never see the light he's talking about and he always wants me to turn it off.

 

Just before Christmas we stayed with his brother in London. OMG it wasn't quite so funny then! He sat up and looked really scary so I asked if he was OK because he looked like he was awake and like there was something wrong. So I touched his arm to try to comfort him because he was so worked up and he almost hit me! This is something he would NEVER do. I asked him when he was awake and he couldn't remember. I had to leave the room for a bit because he was so restless and looked quite scary. It's funny now but at the time it was so scary because I was half asleep too.

 

You're lucky CS doesn't talk in his sleep! Very annoying when you just get to sleep and then you're woken up by someone telling you to turn the lights off lol.

[OptomisticGirl]

CS doesnt talk but he makes this noise. No way to describe it. It's like 'mehhhhh' and he rubs his chest whole he is doing it. It doesn't wake me but when i wake up and he is doing it ill shake him and tell him to stop and he will. for a littlr whilr, lol

 

I snore when im on my back. In ny CS went to roll me over on my side and almost rolled me off the bed! The sad part is, I didn't waje up. At all. He had yo tell me about it. Im such a deep sleeper.

[KH26]

Haha Tom's a nightmare to share a bed with really. He stretches his legs out so I'm always trying to keep warm right on the edge then if I nudge him he'll move back for a little bit but then will fall asleep and roll over again And then starts talking! Lol.

[KH26]

Gah. I don't know why this annoys me but...

 

This girl I sort of made friends with in college at the start of the year, she was nice at first but ah I don't agree with things she does.

 

She told me a while ago that she'd tricked her boyfriend into getting her pregnant with her oldest son. She has two children (4 year old and I think the other one is 1). She said she wanted to trick her next boyfriend into getting her pregnant again by telling them she's definitely taking the pill. So sad.

 

Before Christmas she stopped coming into college on time and was always late bringing work in. She said one day that she had a new boyfriend and was spending all her time with him, she just didn't seem to have time for her work anymore. This guy she hadn't known for very long but at Christmas he bought both her suns tickets to go see some show and quite a few presents each which was so nice I think.

 

A couple of weeks ago she said she was moving out of her mums house and in with her boyfriend. We thought she meant in with this new guy. But, no, she means in with her ex who is the dad to the oldest son (the one she tricked into getting her pregnant). OK, fine, might not have worked out with the new guy. But then she said she's only moving in with him because she wants another baby and because he can provide more for her and her children. She has no feelings for him but he thinks she does but she just wants him there for what she can get out of him basically. But last week she was still going on about the things the boyfriend before Christmas had given her, that she's still friends with him and he buys her gifts and she was talking about the show that he bought tickets for the children to go see.

 

And a few weeks ago we had quite a lot of work to get in. We'd had months to finish this one assignment but she was trying to get it all done in ONE NIGHT because she was out with the before Christmas guy. Then she's like "if I don't pass this then I'm leaving because I put my heart and soul into it" and we're all like ??? you started last night!

 

Ah rant over!

 

I might go swimming again today. Depends how cold it is out haha. Or I'm going to go for a walk if not because it's nice and sunny.

 

I found some Moroccan recipes online last night that look really good. Me and Tom are panicking a bit about eating while we're there because we're both vegetarian, we struggled to find things to eat in Spain last year. We got some stuff from the supermarket to make pasta sauce. We were basically living on pasta and baguette and cheese haha. Then the last night we'd ran out of food and there was no where open to get anything. And because we were there out of season we couldn't even find a restaurant that was open so ended up getting dodgy pizza in a dodgy pizza place which was vile. We're almost certainly going to starve to death in Morocco haha. We're going to try a Moroccan recipe on Tuesday though I think!